I don't wanna leave...

Alarm clock sounds...

I fight the day by closing my eyes.
Tighter.
I smell you.
Can't go back to sleep, forehead moist.
This morning, I rise!

The morning urge to have you wrap yourself around me
has taken over.

Sheets are damp,
heavy breathing, eyes roll back and my mouth is dry.
My hands tremble as I try to wake you.
We will be late getting to work today,
But my morning drive will be filled with
Satisfaction.

We became one as the sun rose,
exchanging the juices that makes my day flow.

An hour passes,
to break the physical bond will break my flow.
Don't stop...
Yank my locks, scratch my skin, exclaim joy
but call my name softly.

And call my job, I need the rest of the day off...

I got housework to do.



copyright 2005 Hassan Ntimbanjayo (I just wrote this...) and yeah, I said it!!!


I must come clean about some things. I felt like I haven't had self worth as of late. I lost confidence in myself. I didn't think that I had people in my corner and acted like nobody cared. My actions hurt people, and for that I am truly sorry. I thought if I pulled myself away from everything that I would be okay. I was wrong, all that did was isolate me in negativity and push my loved ones farther away. All of the things I do and all of the people I love and love me exist because this is what the Creator has blessed me with. I forgot about his will. I wanted to run from family problems and suppressed emotions. I needed to open my eyes and be glad in God's blessing. Some folks don't have as much as I do.

There are people who love me. There are opportunities for me to excel in. There are projects that I need to complete that will make me happy and create a fellowship with those that have the same interests as I from parts far and wide. I have a life to enjoy. I have someone to share new experiences with and build and grow. I cannot compromise this. It means too much to me.

I need to get back to basics, so I'm back on my fast. When I wake up, the first hour of the day was for meditation and reflection about all things. I will now re-focus my energies during this time on one thing: the betterment of self through giving and spiritual strength. I will continue to blog, and schedule time to do that and continue to write, edit and make music. I will make sure I accomplish something major every day as I compose my business plan.

I'm back in the gym as well, making sure I get my workout in so I can keep off of insulin and use cardio and diet to manage my diabetes.

There is someone that has displayed strength and showed me that one can balance life, get things done and give love unselfishly. I am so astounded by her spirit, in love with her sensibility and am astounded by her calm. I wish on quiet day I can have her eyes because of how she sees the world. I have been shown loyalty and patience, family and fellowship and the serious vibration of the possibilities of that love thang... From this one person. I pray that the bond we've established will not break. I am inspired by your presence and want to give all of me to build us. You showed me. I see. I have light to see further in the darkness because you shine.

Thank you.
Love you.
Owe you.
Wanna be next to you.
I'm loving your light.
You make me happy to be me.