It's hard work creating work

It's only Tuesday, and I have already proven to myself how hard being self employed is going to be. I mean, I like the fact that I'll be paying myself, but there will be times where money will be on the low low, and if I were still with (Insert Big Ass conglomerate Name Here), we'd have a meeting, but I'd still get a paycheck.

Wherever I worked, I was never able to fly under the radar, but I also never had to worry about not getting paid. When I unleash my establishment on the people first quarter next year, I have to keep the grind on overtime. I have to continue to press the community to come thru and come back. I really have to press the flesh with the alderman, other shop keepers, longtime residents and suppliers that'll keep me afloat, and that doesn't make a profit, but it will keep me alive. I have to make sure I have customers, and make sure that my customers get what they want without difficulty. That means my employees cannot be ignorant.

I had a position for a close friend that would probably benefit both my business and his (pretty much running the joint/using my facility as base operations for his business), but I don't think he'll be accepting my offer. It's cool, that just means that I have to find a suitable candidate that can replace his skillset and his social expertise. That means that I have to interview somebody. Damn, somebodies. Scary shit.

In my mind, I'm about 75% complete with plans to launch my business. I still haven't narrowed down location and what kind of budget I'll be using to get the word out and market the joint. I've been playing the broke victim lately, eating light, not shopping and pretty much staying at the crib in an effort to hold on to the savings I put together working for the man. I invested a little, put some away in the corporate savings thing and when I got fired a month and a half ago, I almost went shopping. That's when things changed. I knew that I could get another job elsewhere, and I knew that I'd get hit 30% if I didn't roll my 401k over as well. Couldn't take that chance. I held on and took severance and just rolled into my idea on being self employed. But that wasn't what changed my mind. I met someone...

Have you ever met someone that just froze you in your tracks? I mean, gorgeous, talented and full of the spirit? I did. Just in her being herself and us sharing our thoughts, dreams and desires made me realize that I had more to give of myself, just as she has done in her life. That meant more than just giving a company my time, that meant giving my community myself. That and a life changing day in Washington DC made me realize that my business had to be more, so we went non-profit.

Now I have to provide healthcare and savings to employees I have to interview. I also have to maintain tight control of my books in order to be right with Uncle Sam. I also have to make a difference everyday in the lives of the kids of the program as well as the folks that support me by stopping by and giving up a couple of bucks for services rendered (can't give up the business concept yet, sorry). I also have to make a secure and safe environment for the business. We in the hood, y'all, not everyone will welcome us with open arms.

Making sure payroll, bank relationships and customer relations are on point as well as overseeing a youth program along with developing other business ventures is hard work. Planning is nothing in comparison to executing, I just wonder sometimes where I'll get all the energy from. I also have to submit grant proposals for the non-profit and keep tweaking the business model in order to survive. I wonder sometimes if I'll have enough for a mortgage and a car payment, or will I be living out the back of my business, driving the company car...