Life in the country is fine

Blogging from the road is hard. I got photos but give me a minute... Left the USB cable back in never neverland.

Yeah, it's official, I had to move up my plans and get on the grind a little sooner than expected. Until late September/early October I'll be a hotel living, company-provided transport riding, chocolate coffee bean eating trying to stay awake, penny pinching budgeting ass brother in training.

Wish me well.

This is a significant change from what I thought I was going to do. Not only have I left Chicago, I also left my job, family and friends and all of my possessions that I could not give away or sell (minus sentimental shit and freedom papers), and that felt oddly good.

I think.

I've been eluding to starting over from scratch and it seems that I was forced into doing it like this thanks to a few situations and opportunities that presented themselves rather quickly. I'm looking at this more as a challenge now and I'm measuring myself in every step to make sure I'm where I want to be and I get what I want. I was in some type of Matrix induced haze (thanks Coreen) living in the Chi and I had no real support with what I was trying to do from those that I thought I was close to me. I don't fault anyone but myself. I know that everybody has their own shit to muddle thru, I just thought that the time, effort money and support I used to be right there for a lot of folk went unappreciated. People did shit for me and I do appreciate that, but, the bad outweighed the good.

Some people just can't see what I saw. I thought I saw God in a lot of folk but I was mistaken. Hell, I am the company I keep so there wasn't a whole lotta' God in me, so I had to break free, straighten up and fly right.

So, I got rid of all the things that attatched me to those places, people and things that ate me up inside. I'll start over. I'm traveling extensively in this new job, and maybe if ATL ain't the place for me to be then I'll find where I need to be and build my fortress of solitude there.

Trust me when I tell you that I'm a little afraid. This is where I step out on faith to replace that. Sister Serenity told me that fear is the opposite of faith so I'll replace my fears and put all things in His hands. Now if I could just stop cussing...

I can breathe now. I feel like I just lost 100 pounds. I actually smiled for my job profile photo today and It feels good to be here with myself, by myself. I wish I would have had this courage to step away years ago. Imagine where I'd be if I would've done that!

It's a good Monday, I hope all of y'all are having one. I'm sitting here laughing to myself, thinking about that whole first day of the rest of your life saying that some people use. That makes me smile even harder because I'm being forced to do something about it in every sense of my actions. In re-launching me I have to be on it every damn day. As it stands right now all I have tangible is this job and nothing else. I'll worry bout' the apartment in a few weeks. First thoughts had me not enjoying this, but I am enjoying what I do for a change and not drudging the whole work thing because that definately bleeds over into everything else.

Thank God for change because change is good.

Nah, just thank God. Sometimes We are given too much and we can get lost in that. Material possessions can always be obtained, you can always put people around you, but if you fail to put yourself with the right people in the right areas you will indeed fail. That's what I did. I put them and those before The Father and myself. The domino effect of BS was the sobering red pill that woke me up and convinced me to take myself out of the Matrix. No offense to those friends and fam back in the Chi, I still love y'all but you know everything was just wrong. I was wrong for being there so I'm correcting some things. I get the message now loud and clear and that is you can't be where you aren't either wanted or appreciated. Sometimes it's best to go it alone and I knew this, but I kept on pushing. With my actions, in time other things will be corrected as well we just gotta have patience. Now that I removed myself from the equation a furious burden was lifted off of me and I feel 100 times better about self and situation.

Life in the country is fine.

I love that song...