whatever, man...

Every now and then you question a few things...

You wonder how when all is right and well in your world how you could be left alone with the burden of the repercussions of the mental and emotional stresses that got you to that point.
You wonder if you've sacrificed enough. You wonder if you were really forgiven for your sins. Was all of that repentance and pennace really worth it?

You wonder if that thing you did ten years ago actually affected anything or anyone. You know that it actually affected you, but you're afraid to speak past discretions into existence.

It'll truly fuck things up for you, huh?

You wonder if going to church on Sunday or temple on Saturday, even jummah on Friday is a waste of your time. Someone made that shit up and you bought in, right?

Right?

You know that every person that actually stood for something died for nothing. Even the ones you despise. Not everybody Liked brother Malcolm or Karl Marx for that matter. You wonder if you should just take a step back off the front lines and just disappear into the darkness and not be either seen or heard. It's easier to live that way.

You know, wake up, go to work, get lunch, come home, have dinner, watch TV, go to bed. If you have a family, you squeeze the spouse and kids somewhere in there, like dropping folks off at school. Maybe you car pool. Check homework, stuff like that.

Wash, rinse and repeat.

Is it worth actually standing for something?

How in the hell are the folks in charge that fucking irresponsible? Who appointed/elected them? Oh that's right, we did. So why haven't we done anything? Why them and not Jon Stewart or Chris Rock? It's funny how cab drivers, late night talk show hosts and barbers/hair stylists have all the answers but never run for public office.

Can you open your mind to the fact that your ancestors had a different belief system? So why do you believe what you believe? Oh, that's right, mom and dad told you so.

Can you really make a difference?

Is (insert deity name here) actually listening to you? Does he exist in all of your suffrage? Do you really believe that?

If we're being watched by folk on other planets, you know they're laughing.

Hard.

How long has it been since you made you happy? Is it possible? Why don't you do more things for yourself? Is people pleasing that high on your priority list? Yep, probably is. You're already Christmas shopping right now aren't you? And you never get good shit from other people as hard as you search for the right shit for them.

Thanksgiving... Will it be fucked up again this year? You already know that answer.

Stop eating that shit, you already know what it does to the ass on top of your ass, right?

Fuck will power.

When are you going to reach out and talk to him/her? Oh, I know, you want to say whatever it is standing over thier casket. Better yet, you'll be in the coma or on your deathbed without the energy to speak and they'll be right there. And you can't say shit. Fucked up way to die, huh?

I realize I cuss a lot. Must be the army in me. I didn't used to cuss like this. They're just words, right? Narrative discriptives that I like to use. What scripture is that that goes on about words having the power of life and death? I write like I speak, but in person I don't cuss a lot - like when I perform. Poetry, that is.

According to Sam Cooke, change gon' come. It just has to resonate inside of you. You have to get that pissed and know that time is really running out for you to actually get up off that ass and do something.

Anything.

Look at your watch... You ain't got much of that shit left, so do something.

I double dog dare you.