Humble Pie

Today was my last full day of volunteering here at the hospital.

I'm not done volunteering, but I have officially pulled myself out of the trucking game, and it has been 5 months now that I've been sitting in one place. I wrote, recorded some (still not finished and I'm a little disappointed bout' that) and redirected my focus on things that matter in getting me where I want to be.

It's not a yearly thing, but I have some goals to accomplish in 2007.

I am going to Africa. I need about $7500 to be straight comfortable for the months I'll be gone. I really need about $12k to make it work after I return. If I follow thru with my publishing thing and the CD, then seventy five hundred should be fine. I am planning a trip to Tanzania via Kenya (Kilimanjaro is the highest point on the continent of Africa = top of the world, ma!) and I should be there for about 4 to 6 months. I need to be all up in it to learn and be humbled. I also want to continue volunteering and doing some to make change.

I am releasing 2 CDs in 2007. Obviously, I still love hip hop to the point where I haven't married or had kids. CD #1 will help me spit them skills to my peoples on them streets. For all of you flavored coffee loving jazz heads, I got some heat on the poetry tip.

The book is coming, dammit! I've been harassed by two publishers all because I mentioned that I was self publishing "101 Shades Of Indigo" and was ready to go to press in about 3 months. I also get emails and subtle hints thru this here blog that I should publish my work. I hear y'all, and somebody better buy my shit other than my momma, nuff said.

I will keep blogging so I can continue to connect with y'all stank asses. Because I love you. Really, I do. I share with y'all because I stink just like the rest of you. We all have something stank to release to the universe, and if we share some of that funk we might just learn how to grow old, be happy and die with dignity and with children that actually 'get it'. I pray that I can keep reading all of you. A special shout goes to my man Keith. I got your email about a month ago and I forgot to respond. I hear you my brother and I know that whatever decisions you make will be the absolute right ones. I'm glad you're looking at everything and scrutinizing it to the fullest. I just hope we get a chance to break bread in the future and laugh at how hard we thought 'this shit' was. I'll even pick up the tab.

So, I start a new job Monday, am back on the travel board and have some big things to do to get me to do the one thing I cannot do now. Lead people. Not that I can't lead by example, but I have something amazing planned for my life after I get my training, release my work to the public and live among my cousins in the motherland, but first things first. I must get my paper together.

My motivation comes from the mother of this sister I dated back late 05. She asked me if I had my 501 3 (c) together after hearing me detail my plans to do a few things in my old neighborhood. The tone of her question and the look she gave me made me feel like she couldn't trust me to give a cripple crab a crutch. I was dating her daughter and I was still suspect. I did some suspect things like not show for Thanksgiving dinner and was late in the Christmas gift giving game after totally botching up an internet order by getting charged twice and getting the gift late. My mom and sis did not want me to give the gift based on me not knowing the sister too long, and sistergirl herself was skeptical in what I could do for her anyway so it bled over to what I was willing to give when her mom posed that question to me.

The look I got was "You ain't doing a gawt damn thang!"

She wasn't right, but I failed them in honoring their family traditions, so how could I even go through with handling a charity for those that had less than me when my follow thru was faulty in some (not all) areas?

Humble thyself.

If I am successful at living without, like I have since June of last year, then I can understand how one wants to fight just to taste one ounce of clean water by helping build a water treatment facility. I already got rid of my toys and gadgets and I had to call in many a favor since I got back to Chicago in September. What if I had no resources, who would I call? I was arrogant in my detailed plan to help the hood. I was thorough with my plan to get a Christmas gift for girlie. One thing... I forgot to be there for the family gathering and that meant the most. I gotta learn to be there more often for those that need me, so I will gather up seven G's and get my ass over to where my presence is needed the most. When I bring that back to y'all, I'll be of some use to you.

But first I gotta get this paper
And my passport
And some spending cash
And my inoculations
And a GSM phone (Yo Ep, engineering degree and MCSE+Cisco Certs... That's why I chose the iPhone - quad band AND a flash drive in Africa son!)
And a grant writer so when I get back...

Have a good weekend y'all... I'm getting boring again