Disappointed

Just when I thought that I would just stop doing my thing and enjoy life from the front porch...


People start to listen and respond. Years later.


I don't know if you've noticed, but I really took the personality away from this joint. I stopped getting personal with my posts with the exception of speaking about my general health and I hear all of my virtual play-cousins (I invented that) when they give me gems for optimal living. I have taken your advice and am doing all that I can to get back to regular.

Someone close to me pretty much told me to just relax because I seemed to be stressing too much, that maybe the move to Houston and my current situation versus what I want to do is possibly raising my blood pressure. Yes my pressure is somewhere in stage II hypertensionville but it ain't that. Someone stated that I am angry all the damn time, but one thing... I never get mad. I may show displeasure with things through my outwardly appearance, but it ain't that I'm angry.

It's because I am in a constant state of disappointment.

I see myself and I see the education, the talent and the options and I am disappointed that I am where I am right now. I will do more to get to where I feel I need to be, and that means being more outspoken for my family, cause y'all are all I got.

I see my peers in the Hip Hop generation and I am disappointed in how we are handling ourselves at this moment. There is no problem with Hip Hop or specifically rap music. I'm disappointed in how the entire Hip Hop nation is once again grouped into whatever is killing the nation at this moment. The overall ignorance that we are showing about a genre of music that we created disappoints me to the core. Example:

Movies: Filmed entertainment, full of stereotypes and degrading images of people, places and things. Also full of fun, comedy and heartwarming moments that we grow to love in the billions of dollars- The Fly, The Matrix, Birth Of A Nation, The Terminator, Do The Right Thing, Van Wilder, Austin Powers, Night At The Museum, Blood Diamond, Major League, Monkey Hustle, Shaft, I, Robot, Pretty Woman, Cotton Comes To Harlem, The Ten Commandments, Enter The Dragon, Apocalypse Now, Spider-Man, Earth Girls Are Easy, Love And Basketball, Alien, Close Encounters of a Third Kind, Star Wars, Brokeback Mountain, Shaft, Chocolate', Mulan Rouge, Happy Feet, Honey, I Shrunk The Kids... Did I jump around enough for you?

Television: Shorter versions of movies, same stereotypes and degrading images as well as heartwarming fun and comedy made for shorter attention spans and bundled in series (for the most part) for those that want to follow a character or set of characters in various plots and subplots. Also where sporting events and made for TV events (award shows and such) take place for the world to view- The Sopranos, General Hospital, Wide World of Sports, Grey's Anatomy, 24, Weeds, My Name Is Earl, Survivor, The King of Queens, Girlfriends, Sleeper Cell, Lost, Heroes, How I Met Your Mother, Chappelle's Show, South Park, Aqua Teenage Hunger Force, Reno 911, Flavor of Love: Charm School, The Springer Hustle, Arena Football, One Tree Hill, The Game, Law And Order, Monk, WWE Raw and Smackdown, Tuesday Night Fights, Arena Football, The Office, 30 Rock, Everybody Hates Chris, Anderson Cooper 360, The View, Friday Night Lights, The Young and the Restless and so on.

Music: Unadulterated, uncensored form of singing, instrumental isms and spoken art in which artists (or those that try to be) attempt to wax poetic on whatever they see fit. Full of stereotypes and violence as well as heartfelt ballads of love and admiration. Long and short forms of musical expression are marketed to any audience that cares to listen- grunge, speed metal, hard rock, zydeco, hardcore rap, smooth jazz, gospel, blues, jazz, gangster rap, thrash metal, guitar ballads, folk, country and western, zydeco, New Orleans jazz, chamber music, orchestra composed, madrigals, chant, Christian rap, Harlem jazz, industrial, power ballads, new wave, punk, ska, world music, soca, meringue, dance hall, roots reggae, Kentucky bluegrass, old school rap, fusion, funk, rhythm and blues, doo wop, 60's soul, St Louis blues, Chicago blues, rockabilly, new school rap, house music, dance pop, adult contemporary, 50's rock and roll, underground rap, jazz fusion, neo soul, urban contemporary, old, guitar driven rock, hair metal, spoken word, scat, top 40 pop.

I'm disappointed that folks don't know the difference but spend money like we do. Or do we and just refuse to acknowledge that there are categories of entertainment? Genres if you will. What makes rap music any different than other forms of entertainment? Are we going after the porn industry? Think not. If we really want to censor our artists (can't call em' so-called, cause' people even buy stuff from the bullshit ones - that means artist support) under the 'urban music' banner, that means both rappers and R&B artists would get the hook. And so should rock artists, grunge cats, metal dudes, jazz artists, even Christian artists.

There has to be a Muslim or Jew that just can't stand DC Talk... Right?

Hip Hop is in the mainstream right now and it faces the same scrutiny as Rock and Roll, Jazz and Rhythm And Blues (originating from gospel music) before it, so let the chips fall where it may. I as a child of, current supporter of and peer of Hip Hop refuse to be painted with a broad brush stroke and be labeled as poison when it comes to influencing our youth. Whether white kid or brown, Hip Hop culture is a multi-trillion dollar, infrastructure building positive influence on society as a whole. To let a rapper (Rap music, once again is a sub-culture of Hip Hop) or twelve's lyrical content be the basis of unwarranted finger-pointing, blame laying and the reasoning behind the downfall of America's so-called utopia and also the cause of racist rhetoric is downright insulting. And I bet you Bob Dylan's acoustic guitar that I'm not the only member of this generation ready to fight for the respect and the fair market share we in the Hip Hop community deserve.

This ain't over. It's just getting started. I'm just disappointed that my voice wasn't heard a few years ago when I was saying the same damn thing I'm saying now. Check the archives. As a matter of fact, check out this very same fight when you google up what was going on in the 80's... Or What C. Delores Tucker was doing in the 90's... Or the self check we were getting into via allhiphop.com, okayplayer.com and such have been doing in the 2000's.

I know who I am, and I'm a little disappointed in myself to let this get this far.
Some of you guys have me a little disappointed in as well.