Drinking Myself To Death

My name is Hassan, and I am still an alcoholic.

I secretly drank very heavily back in 2007 and I see that I'm matching an/or exceeding my output in 2010. There is no real reason for my drinking like back when I was in Houston, everything is calm and cool.

I'm still good with my eating discipline, I just have the urge to drink a certain amount of alcohol to provide stimulation or satiation. There is no trigger, I just love the taste, the feel and the vibe I get when I overdrink.

Drinking without meat flooding my colon is much more hazardous that a few years ago when I was a taco eating, burrito munching bloke.

I think I'm on my way to drinking myself to death.

I think it's the most perfect way for me to end all of this.

I don't want to stop drinking. I'm hedging my bets on leaving this realm in this manner.

I think its fitting. Hell, I'm drinking right now.

Idiocracy

Okay, let me get this right...


Something that had nothing to do with nothing was put into the mainstream

Everybody saw it, then MOST pushed it even further because of how neck-snappingly awful it was

NOBODY investigated


When all of most people's business can usually be found in the most obvious places



Never mind investigating the subject... NO ONE questioned the source?


That means you're the idiot.


Seriously.

If you pushed it. added critical comment on it and/or filed grievance against it in its initial stage... You are an idiot.


Because we're smarter than that.






Wait...




Are we?

Sigh.




So much has happened since Monday.

When Mondays Feel Like Sundays

Normal weekend.

Left work early Friday and got home at 2pm. Called my wife with an evening idea for entertainment. Sat on the edge of my bed and ended up falling asleep as she watched on-demand programming that she just could not miss. Ended up sitting around for seven hours waiting for my other half to make up her mind as to if we were going to the drive-in theater and catch a flick.

We didn't go. I went out and hit a few old haunts and ran into some drinking buddies from the nineties.

Saturday was my first day working a weekend day at the gig. Exciting. Challenging. I'm a marketing guy, I got a chance to see em' knock down what we set up. At $140k a month in marketing and advertising... Good job crew!

I came home and sat around until I fell asleep. She got tired of texting and IMing all of her crew and turned off the TV around 10pm. I cannot sleep nights for a bunch of different reasons. I faked the funk both Saturday and last night and just laid there. Felt like 3pm Friday. And 4pm on Sunday. Except that I sit and watch nothing happen. Her laptop is attached to her thighs. Headphones in, ignoring all things outside of her bandwidth.

I'm tired and hungry. I'm understimulated.

I counted and wrote things down this past week for an exercise. My wife initiated less than 20 conversations with me in the past week. Less than 100 words. The questions were mostly her asking me if I wanted something from the store or letting me know that she got me a muffin or a bowl of fruit for breakfast. I indicated this to her last night and she mentioned that all I ever said to her was stuff about LeBron James, but I wrote things down. I only mentioned LBJ 3 times last week (including me watching his program, where she was busy IMing and tweeting and listening to whatever) out of the 224 times I initiated other convo with her.

224 to 18 excluding conversation in the car. Not that I'm counting though. She said that she doesn't talk to me because she believes that I wouldn't be interested in having a conversation with her.

Wow.

And I covered everything from the BP spill to the missing kid in the Northwest.

I spend my weekends faking like I'm sleep, just laying there in silence. Very similar to how I spend my daylight hours at home. I'd rather be at work.

I'm heading there now. Have a great Monday.