Version 2.0

Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


Wednesday, March 05, 2014

This Ain't Goodbye... But I'm Waiving Anyway

Hassan Ntimbanjayo
Chicago, IL

January 14, 2014

Dear Friends and Family,

If you're reading this, that means that I have checked into a local hospice program and am near the time that The Creator calls us home to the essence.

For the record, I'm cool and have come to terms with my health/life situation.

I am writing this open letter, this appeal to you, Dear Reader because I may not have many chances to speak to you if my associate has posted this. I have chronicled some of what has been going on with me health wise, but of course, I am more introvert than extrovert, so there are a lot of things I am still not willing to share, even in this moment.

Normally, I would appeal to what I believe is your common sense, but I know most of you,, and the few that I haven't gotten a chance to meet, I know that most are stuck in their opinionated ways, so I will spare you any appeal to prevent what is happening to me and just give you this advice:

Enjoy the ride!

Don't let anger, angst, opinion and false hop and so-called religion hold you to the point where you miss out on living life. So many of you are so embedded and entrenched in falsehoods that it prevents you from enjoying everything life has to offer. I see so many of you living in pain and wasting your time with and around folk who don't give a very clear fuck about what happens to you, your happiness and your soul that it had done nothing but hurt me to the point where I don't want to even communicate with you anymore.

There are some, and they know who they are whom I admire and still communicate with between all of the doctor's visits and rest periods I need to conserve my energies. I love you guys and I wish you nothing but heaven for coming to my bedside in this, my most trying moments.

For those of you who I've spoke with recently, I will do what I can to get to spend time with you before I get shipped off to the May Clinic. Because I have waived all my 'rights' for medicinal assistance, I hope that I get the time and energy to see you.

To the rest of you, I love you and hope the nest for you. For those whom I haven't reserved any issue with (Mora S,. Kristine T., Tammie S., Sheletha M and Herchell W.), I'm sure 'te flames of hell' will tickle my trifling ass. I hope that will bring you the satisfaction you need to put a close to having to deal with me in the flesh. I am sorry if I caused you any pain and I also wish you heaven as well.

I don't have anything else to leave you with but a 'So long'...

I don't do good-byes. If by some chance holistic treatment and various transplant procedures come into play and afford me an extension of time in this, my twisted and diseased meat-sack, then we will pick up where we left off sometime in the distant future.

And for those that care to know, Anika's spirit speaks to me every day. I'm using her handbook from 2009 and doing kind of the opposite, where April, Aswad, Candice, Alesia and myself were the only ones to know.

Looks like I'm going to best you there, Terry, lol!

I close with the immortal words of Fred G. Sanford, period: "Love Somebody!!!"

Best Regards,

Hassan Olumoroti Ntimbanjayo