Version 2.0

Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


.
.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Wednesday, December 29, 2004


Have you ever encountered someone that wants it now? Have you ever
met someone that never wanted to nurture something, a microwave
person? I have, and it is not a pretty site.

I do not know why people want everything at a moments notice. I came
from a generation that took the necessary time to let things and
situations come to life via investments of time and moderation of pace. I
cannot live where relationships, jobs and finance are built overnight.
Time has always been my friend.

I believe that people should be given the benefit of the doubt, that in
due time if loyalty and trust are proven in different situations, my
undying loyalty will be given to that person. I do not encounter this
anymore, and because I no longer experience this, I am saddened.

No one is promised tomorrow, but I do believe that if you are blessed
with time, the Creator will bless you with the dividends based on your
investment of it. My journey to find myself has been compromised by
people that want things that I cannot give right now, and they have been
warned of this but did not listen. Pain has been caused, and I have
washed my hands of the situation with those folks. I must continue my
mission to find self and do whatever it takes to continue to put the
Creator first. It seems that some people in my life are blinded by their
goals and forgot that faith will lead them wherever they want to go. A
person should never put all of their trust in a person. I just had someone
put their trust in me to lead when I'm still trying to lead myself. They
got burned, but they were warned.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

I will make an announcement to my family at the so called Christmas
gathering. I love my family and I like when we get together but I must
say, I do not like the Christmas thing, and that's all I got to say.

In letting go, you have to acknowledge the points in your life where
you let go. With my ex in that last post, I let go shortly after nearly
dying in that car, I no longer needed the things that witnessed that
relationship and breakdown. There was another time I had to let go and
this time I held it for almost 20 years.

I was about 15 or so. My boy somehow got this gun. It was a 38 special
and it was best toy I think we ever played with at that time. In the
mid to late 80's the gun was a new tool in hip hop. It was the
equalizer for those who didn't acquire knowledge of self. The usage of
the gun, as well as the lack of respect for our women is responsible
for the downfall of hip hop. I was fascinated by this piece of steel.
I never held a gun in my hands before, and it felt like real power. It
was so small, but heavy and I wanted to go outside and shoot. My
partner in crime was willing, so we went up on the train tracks to set
up target practice.

We were stupid as kids. It was about 9pm, and the train tracks were
elevated and isolated on this hill so no one would steal the cargo
from the boxcars when the trains stopped. That didn't work either.
Every chance we got, we would 'hit the freights' by breaking the seals
on the boxcars and using the assembly line method to get the goods to
the bottom of the hill and into basements, garages or wherever we
could conceal the items we stole.

My friend had bought a box of bullets from Sears, so we had plenty of
ammo. It was his gun, so he went first. He couldn't even hold steady
because of the recoil, but it sure looked like fun, I couldn't wait to
fire this thing. My turn. I had to reload the piece, closed the barrel
and aimed at nothing in particular. BAM! BAM! BAM! It was scary and
exciting all at the same time. Nothing had ever felt like this. We
were up there rapping Ice T lyrics, so I can somewhat understand
metal heads back in the day, and then we saw a rabbit.

My friend took aim and used the poor rabbit for target practice. Two
things struck me as funny, the rabbit could not get away and with all the
noise we were making, the police never came. I guess you can really get
used to hearing gunshots and won't even think twice about calling the
law. Damn. Anyway, there was this viaduct that ran under where we
were. The viaduct was a corridor to another faction of a street
organization I called myself running with. I know that people were
walking under that viaduct and saw us because we saw them, but with
the newfound power we had, who would say anything?

The blocks east of where my friend and I lived was a rival gang. The
cats on that block tried to rep their hood as much as we tried to rep
for ours. There were times that we would meet up at this little corner
liquor store and get into very harmless fights. We always fistfighted
with them because no one wanted to go up for shooting someone and no
one wanted to get shot. There was this one guy that had this big ass
head. Since we were about the same size, my assigned beef was with
this cat (everyone was assigned one cat from the other side to 'rumble'
with), and guess who was walking out from under the viaduct with some
female on our side?

Monday, December 20, 2004

Monday, December 20, 2004

And so I try to carry on like everything is okay. I am a chameleon today,
attempting to blend in with whatever. During conversations at a Christmas
party, I am lonely in conversation. No disrespect with those I met today, but I
wanna learn from them on how they got free if it applies. I went out and broke
bread with the closest of you today and still felt out of place. I shared time
with the person I feel is the closest, the holder of the blackisms emotion tool.
I felt distant and I tried to get closer. Did you feel me? I hope so.

Letting go of habit is hard. I can't do this, can't say that, don't go there...
DAMN! I'm sorry, just going through withdrawal or something. I just want to
be free. I want to come and go in this life, do my duty (whatever that is) and
be with those that make my time worthwhile (whoever they are), but I have no
clue on how to get closer to myself. That's the key, knowing myself.
A long time ago I fell in love. I knew that this sister would have my children
and share my home. I knew that her family would be mine, and my family hers.
I left for the military and stayed in touch. She left for college and also
stayed in touch. We knew that summer loves and long distance relationships
would not last, but we tried. Something happened.

When I got out of the service, sistergirl was still in school. I waited and my
reward was her. We were both so different. She had goals that were not
mine, and mine were not hers, but we tried anyway. Something happened still.
Eventually we shacked and never addressed the issue of the change that
happened inside of us. We never acknowledged that deep inside, our desire was
probably to go in separate directions and do whatever it was that made us feel
whole at that time, but it never happened. It started in 89', restarted in 93'
and from 96 to 2000 we made a home built on complacency and mistrust. It did
not last.

In may of 2000 I had a breakdown. Now this sister had been thru the shit
with me, and she had vowed to not leave my side, for that I am still grateful.
I was in love in her, but I noticed she began to withdraw, she was starting to
see the change in me. I wanted the best for us but I realized... There is no
God, no trust, no common goal. There was no union in our relationship.

We built a relationship without counseling from an elder. At the time I was
unwilling to take leadership because I thought I knew best for MYSELF. The
longer we stayed with each other, the more anger and resentment I felt from
her, I knew I had to pull the plug because at that time the both of us were
complacent on being where we were because life was on automatic and we didn't
want or know how to actually establish a relationship with anyone else.

I ended the relationship, but not really, It was already over. One warm night
in May of 2000, my ex and I was in the car with our two closest friends.I got
light headed. I could no longer drive or think rationally. I got an MRI a week
earlier because I thought something was wrong with my head. Headaches,
blackouts and weight loss lead me to believe that I was probably sick but I
wasn't. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I knew the she no
longer deserved or wanted me. I was miserable. I had a horrible job and living
situation, was suicidal but in love with her and confused.

That night I lost control of the wheel but was able to stop the car. My friends
panicked and exited the vehicle, my ex got out too, but I attempted to grab
her and ask for help. Her head hit the car as I did just that. My friends
thought I hit her, they immediately started yelling, even shoving and hitting
me. That convinced her to go. I was crazy and I would probably hurt her. Good
excuse, but no. I was sick of being incapable of leading someone that had faith
in me and not God and I spazzed. I was being punished. She left me that night
and only returned to gather necessities a couple of days later. We have only
spoken 3-4 times since that time, and the last conversation ended with my
apology. God knew that our relationship would not last without him, and at that
time our faith was shaken.

I kept having blackouts until September of 2000. I blacked out at the wheel
of the car my ex and I bought. The car left the road and landed into a ditch.
I had to be pulled from the vehicle. I was blessed cause' I never knew the two
cats who helped me. The vehicle exploded due to the fuel line detaching (not
movie style, only the tires silly!) and I witnessed all of my possessions burn
with the car from the back of an ambulance. Good. My new start after that
day included life with no blackouts, but my problems were far from finished.
God spared me. He saved me. He saved her from me. He blessed us both but I
still loved her, but at that point I had to let go. I did not think I could survive
without her, but I have and she's okay too. I should have learned to let go and
be free then, but i'm hardheaded, and that's another story...

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Freedom is a road seldom travelled by the multitude. I remember it
as a sound byte and a printed phrase. Public Enemy would used
snippets like these to raise awareness that their tapes, wax
records or cds were not just for the head nod. Now that my
comprehension level has been elevated, I know now what freedom
truly is, and I realize that I just got free.

I never knew what it took to have complete control of 'the what'. I
did not know that it took total immersion into that same 'what' and
avoidance of the people, places and things that drive you away from
whatever your 'what' is because folks are scared to do the damn
thing themselves, too deep in their conditioning or the surroundings
are not conducive to you achieving whatever your 'what' is.

So I just let go.

There is no spoon.

Sometimes I can just cry. The fact that I let freedom slip through
my hands for so long makes me say... damn! I know that the
creator has given us everything we need right here. I know that we
have everyone in our lives to make us happy, sometimes we choose
the wrong people to be with and around, and the influence can be
deadly, like a virus.

This the third year in a row that I haven't spoke to my brother on
his birthday.

I finally released guilt that i've been holding in due to causing my
ex-girlfriend's sadness and pain by my actions. I asked for
forgiveness earlier this year from all, but my cries fell on deaf ears.


I drank a beer with one of my brothers from another mother last
week. We haven't spoke since April. We probably won't speak again
for a while, but we ammended what broke the brotherhood.

I avoided going to jail Friday by entering a plea bargin. My financial
irresponsibility to the county and state almost earned me 8 months
in the pokey. Pay your old tickets, fines and taxes man.

Being free is a road travelled by few. Freedom is the ability to
glorify the creator by action and intent. I just learned how to be
free, and it consists of doing... Swallowing one's pride and doing for
Him and not for yourself is not easy, but I am willing to dedicate
the rest of my life to try...

My happiness was at an all time low. My freedom to come and go as
I please was almost non-existent due to the fact that my drivers
license was suspended. God made sure for me to see what I really
had in friends and resources by taking most of my material
possessions. Friends I considered family turned their backs on me.
Contact has been lost and has not been reestablished. I lost a good
paying job and took a lesser paying one so bill paying (and eating) is
an adventure. I now live alone with limited everything. I fell in and
out of love this year... and after all of that...

I'm still here. And now that i've let go, I am now free. And all of
that stuff, money and people I didn't need. I am at the tip of the
iceberg that is my happiness. I'm not there yet and there is much
for me to overstand and set into action, so here comes the hard
part...

living my life like it's golden
living my life like it's golden
living my life like it's golden
living my life like it's golden
living my life like it's golden
golden.

I'll need a little help, y'all. You game?

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Today was a good day... sort of. I started the day hellbent on filing
motions and vacating the old charges against me, prepping for
Friday's hearing. I only got one fine paid. There are charges against
me in two different counties but I have to go to three different
locations to pay what I owe. So I get to courthouse number one. Not
a lot of people waiting, a plethora of folk behind this massive 80 foot
counter and the 'number served' box is at 7. I take a number. I get
ticket number 20.

About that 80 foot counter. There are about 12 stations with
computers and processing equipment to serve the hard working
people in the great county of Cook, but there are only two people
working these stations. Two. Every three minutes or so, a bunch of
female employees walk from the area behind the counters and back
in, laughing and bantering loudly. Now this particular room which is
the size of a regulation football field is full of county employees,
none of them actually doing anything. I am not making this up. Some
of them are in groups talking, others come and go freely in and out
of the room and stop and chat with other co-workers. Others are
just sitting at various desks on the phone. You can hear some
conversations because as county employees, I guess you're at their
mercy so the discussions over the phone are not business related. I
heard one waaaaaaaaaay in the back talking about the new Ocean's
Twelve flick that just came out.

Anywhoo, It took these two folk about an hour to get from 7 to 20
and then while I was waiting, working employee #1 (older male
gentleman) went over to the lone cashier, also behind the counter
and tinkered with the cash register and literally broke it, shutting
down the line for about 15 minutes. Soon, there were three of the
other socialites, trying in vain to fix the cash register. No avail.
Sister cashier walked away for about 15 minutes and then came
back, this time the register was up. She seemed frustrated but not
from the previous situation.

Number 20! I went up and had to wait through a conversation
between working employees number one and two. From that convo,
I found out why sister cashier was frustrated. She yelled out that
she needed help to properly requisition the amended forms she
had to process to make payment options available for those already
seen at the counter. That's right, you have to go to open counter
one or two to have your info looked up, then you must wait to see
the cashier RIGHT NEXT TO THE OTHER OPEN COUNTER SPACES to
select what you want to do... pay the fine or pay a fee to have an old
charge vacated. Why one can't do this when they walk up to open
counters one and two is a mystery.

After we found an old traffic ticket and some related fines, I was told
that I would have to go to another location to pay the other fines.
Why I could not do that at this particular office was a mystery to me.
"Those are the rules", I was told. Now, sister cashier was frustrated
and angry because available clerk one and two would not remove
the staples from the paperwork, causing her to remove them
herself. Shame. All that attitude over staples. Now we looked up my
ticket number, and the clerk said "Rodney?" and I said "No". She
mistyped the six digit number that I RESEARCHED and gave to her to
help expedite things. She did this about four times and never asked
me my name, SSN or drivers license number. It took her about 10
minutes and some help to get my DL number and identity right. She
gave this to sister cashier and I was almost home! Or at least I
thought.

My motion papers was third in the pile so I saw. I moved over the six
inches from working clerk's station to the designated cashier
station waited. And waited. And waited. Sister cashier got mad about
the staple thing, went to an empty station and started serving other
respondents! She did this for about 45 minutes, and every now and
then she would peek down the long counter to see how many folks
were waiting. Now, clerk one and two got help from two other bored
employees that thought maybe now would be a good time to help
out, seeing that it got very crowded very quickly. People are getting
help finding tickets and fines, but no cashier to help them pay. Forty
nine minutes (and I counted) after getting help from working clerk
number one, my name was called, and this heifer had an attitude
when I told her good afternoon and wished her a good day!

Two hours to do something that could've taken about fifteen
minutes. I was in the suburban office of the clerk of the circuit court
and had to race to the city (downtown, where parking hit me for me
$25) to file motions to vacate other petty offenses I've assessed
over the years. I got there at 4:15. Sisters there started complaining
aloud that no overtime is given by the county of Cook, but a
compassionate sister helped me anyway. Guess what? I have to
miss another day of work tomorrow and make a court appearance to
vacate the remaining fines and tickets, because the city of Chicago
works differently than the suburbs. Same office, different
jurisdiction. Great. I'd rather risk my job missing three days of work
to pay and vacate rather than not doing the deed and going to jail
Friday due to non payment and lack of effort. I'd lose a lot more than
a job if I didn't try. You think?

Monday, December 13, 2004

Monday, December 13, 2004

I am in my mid thirties and I do not have children. I have enjoyed
being in this state for quite some time, me being my only
responsibility that is. In this time frame, I feel that I am in the
express lane on the way to finding myself. I also feel that in the
time given, I have been careless in how I've handled myself and
how I have treated others. I feel that overall I'm a good person,
deserved of good things when I deserve them. There have been
times that I've been at my absolute best, others when I needed a
good ass whoopin' from Mom... extension cord style.

I have overcome many physical difficulties and have gone through
my own share of ups and downs, but right now I cannot shake my
current state of funk. I only have a few people in my inner circle
these days, and I try not to hang much with then; so many
beautiful things are happening and I don't want to bring them down
with my burdens, so I just hang out at the batcave, and work on
the future.

I will appear in court later this week and next on a myriad of
bullshit. My carelessness and neglect will probably land my ass in
jail and I am not a criminal. I let a bunch of minor charges and the
fines related to them snowball into what I can only describe as a
legal and financial nightmare. How does one look life in the eye
right now and see prosperity?

The answer to that question is very simple, faith. Although I know
the answer to this question, it is hard to fully accept it. My faith
is strong, and I know family and friends got my back and prayer
works but, I am blinded right now by the fact that I had a chance
to get myself out of this situation and didn't. It's weird because I
felt that I recently had all of the financial and legal resources
available to make that series of fines and charges go away, but
they really were mirages and manifestations of false hope.

I think I'm being tested by the creator to see how much internal
strength I really have. And I'm beginning to crack. I can't be
around my family right now, they worry too much. My current love
interest is a situation that I will not discuss on this forum. What I
will say is this, complex is a very busy word these days. And that
is in the good context of the meaning. My question is, what must I
do to clear my head and move forward? How do I accept my fate
and know that I can come out of this mentally and spiritually
intact? These are BS charges and fines that will give me some
time, but not a lot. What it will do is help me lose my nondescript
job, put a stain on my permanent record and delay me in my
business ventures for a couple of months, not to mention empty my
pockets and put me back at zero. How can I not be worried?

I have always been as self sufficient as possible, but now I ask for
help. What do I do? Do I pull a 25th hour and spend my last week
campaigning for the party and bullshit ticket, or do I meditate on
protecting my ass (and my ass too) and try to continue what has
been blurred focus on what's in front of me. I know that some of
y'all have been in this situation, and I implore you to get at me and
offer consul.

I have received a metric ton of email from you fam, and I
appreciate it. I have also got requests for what the ipod/car
stereo/office cd player picks of the week are, and as you see, I
have them listed below. I really appreciate the concern, and now
that you have spoken to me, I feel that I must ask for your advice
on how to handle this situation. Hit me and leave me with some
overstanding. I must get through. This is very new to me and I
need to know how to get out of the funk before I sit in that
courtroom. How do I do it?

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Sunday December 12, 2004

What if everything changed in the blink of an eye? What if you
went from very comfortable in your life to an expert in
poverty? How many paychecks are you from being homeless?
What is your backup plan? Do you have one?
I spoke to a lot of fam over the past couple of days, and I
found out that a lot of us aren't really prepared for what I like
to call "the coming", you know, the day they come to your
specific spot in cubicle city and ask you to gather all of your
personal possessions... and your security badge.
How is it that out of all populations on the planet, black folk
can't seem to "just go away"? We lead the league in
influence, from fashion to linguistics, people seem to want to
be like us, but not be like us. Should there be some sort of
repayment system set in place? In my opinion, no. It is time
to claim and reclaim what belongs to us and administer it for
the longevity of the craft. We also must perform out duties
here in this existence like we want to be here, and for that to
happen, we must let go of this way of life and adopt the ways
set forth by the Creator and our ancestors to make sure we
will not grow weak in the future. This is happening now, and
it is very unacceptable.
I still don't understand the value we put in things that
depreciate as soon as we acquire it. I remember when BET
was watchable. Don't get it twisted, I like to peek at a nice
round ass like the next man, but what about my kid nephew?
There has to be more programming available... oh that's right,
Bob Johnson sold BET (thanks for reminding me Mos). Vote
money, ho's and clothes in 2005. Almost forget the rims.
In other words, our values are based in sex, high end fashions
and auto accessories instead of long term relationships,
respect for self, real estate and re-acquisition of advanced
knowledge that our people taught the world. Damn, I guess
we will never unplug from the matrix. We are drowning and
we are still in the ship's ballroom partying as it sinks into the
ocean. What a waste of melanin. I love you and hate you in
the same breath. Not all of y'all, but there are enough to
influence my feelings. Clarence was right. 85 percent, lost
and unrecoverable. I wish we all can go together when the
bus comes...
I wish I didn't feel that way, but I do. Our community is so
self destructive right now I feel like I have no faith in our
endeavors. It's like watching that drunk uncle at the family
reunion destroy whatever chances he had to re establish the
relationship that was oh so powerful back in the day. I do
have faith in some. There are brothers and sisters in the
struggle that are working hard to raise the God
consciousness and bring back the commitment that we once
had to the block. It's almost like that Matrix series... most of
us are asleep but are still able to control our destiny.
Don't ignore the signs...
It's right in front of you...
Red or blue pill...

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Wednesday, December 8


Ain't nothing like family. There are people in your family unit that
influence who you become. I have more than one influence, from
the way my cousin Ben chased his baseball dreams, to the way my
uncle Ed delivered on his promise to provide both spiritually and
economically to his family. From my aunts D.D. and Vivian
conquering adversity and redefining themselves to gain the power
that was always theirs, to my brother Herch, raising 6 kids,
something I can never do. Can't forget about my aunt Desiree,
everything she did was amazing!

One person that influences me the most is my Grandmother
Dorothy. I've never met anyone that consistent. Ever. Consistent?
Well, from what I know personally from what I learned, she has
always lived her life according to her faith and has never faulted in
it. Amazing. Now don't get it twisted, no one is perfect, but so far,
with no disrespect to anyone else, she's very close. She is God's
perfect interpreter, the family patriarch and head counselor. She
has seen it, and will definitely indicate to you how to get through it,
but you must have faith and pray. Proven stuff, tried and true. This
Saturday we celebrate 75 years of blessings, but we partied last
week (thank you Linda, Trice). And by God's grace, we will party
again.

I wish that I could steal all of the extra joy my family had from last
week's celebration, but I can't. I am in a heavy funk, brought on by
my Aunt's death a couple of months ago, a close friend being
murdered about a month ago and my current situation. I notice that
life doesn't stop. You get ample time to stop and smell the roses,
but you also get equal time (like an electoral debate) to wade in the
doo doo. Why the poopie doodie lasts longer it seems, I don't
know. Maybe we put more emphasis on the negative than the
positive as I learned back in college. Who knows? The one thing I
can say with most certainty is I am not happy at this particular
juncture. Haven't been for a while. And it's getting worse. So I blog.
And talk to Grandma.

I'll try some new things. The locks may go bye bye. I'm think about
the Peace Corps daily, but I came up in the belly of the beast, so I
would have to give back before I leave the hood altogether, so
seminary is an option. Problem is, I hate religion, but I know that
"He" exists. It might be time to give up on charred mammal flesh if I
want to live. Every day, I've been tempted to just quit my job, stop
writing and just go. Somewhere. Haven't figured out where
somewhere is, if you got an idea, let me know. I keep getting
blessed with good folk in my life, never asked for them, but glad
they're here. You know who you are. I try to maintain distance, but
friendships require closeness, so you know where that leads.
Yeah, that.





Friday, December 03, 2004

Friday, December 3, 2004

Van Damme!!!

Wassup fam, it's good to be back. I had some problems updating the
site, feels good to know that I have control back in my hands now. It's
tough putting this blog thing together, I wish... I had... more time.

Been thru a lot this week. My manhood was questioned by both a
stranger off the street AND my current's close friend. I watched World
AIDS Day go by watching my boys go mad over the women of
BlackPlanet, and I offended the closest person to me by just being
me.

The first one:
I was at the check cashing joint this week, attempting to give my
entire check away for food, shelter and furniture not yet delivered to
my home when a young'n approached me and asked if I could buy her
and her 'friend' a couple blunts and some Henny. In my best Kyle
from Living Single impersonation, I flatly refused and tried to at least
not look at her ass as I took the high road and promptly went home.
Interested? No. Curious? Not even. December 1 IS World Aids Day,
and I was told that payment for getting these under aged mud ducks
some product would be favors by both her and her girl. Wow. This is
what I have to look forward to for the children I plan not to have?
Hells no. At least I got approached. Makes a chunky cat feel like...
This cat.

The second:
I got an instant message not intended for me, pretty much
questioning if I had what it would take to please and satisfy (or is it
satisfy and please?) the current on a regular basis. I'm not mad. It's
just conversation, but... The part that makes my hinges squeak is that
there was a complaint (or something close to it) about me getting all
spiritual and ish. You see, I am trying to get a relationship right
for a change, and what I realized from the past is this: for me sex
and shacking BEFORE The commitment made me complacent in the
fact that i was getting milk, butter and cream from the cow and I did
not have to buy it. I also dropped the ball on commitment (I got the
goods from The ex's for free!), and I would like to have a
relationship based on the principles of my faith instead of whatever
everybody else is doing. I am not questioning her, BUT... If my faith
keeps you from enjoying me the way you want to, then... YOU'RE NOT
REALLY ENJOYING ME!!!. I am a sexual being, just like all of y'all,
but, I have got to let The notion go that sex is The cure all or The
basis of a relationship. I am getting too old for this bad
relationship/good sex is. I need to know if there is compatibility,
understanding and trust before I jump in now. And since 40 is
approaching, I feel strong in my new belief system. I did all of that
nasty ass ish back in the day. I also never committed to the formers
(that's why they are former) and pretty much wasted their time and
mine attempting to repair relationships that were not broken. They
just were not meant to be. F_ck The past.

Next:
My guys rediscovered blackplanet.com's BP Love machine. I must
say, there are a lot of dimes on The luv board, but I must say this too:
I am not attractive (you see The pics), I see myself as palatable. I
also consider myself normal, drug and disease free (that's a fact) and
I am medically cleared as clinically sane and I can get some. Really,
I can. From the nightmares that a lot of my inner circle have shared
with The brother, most (maybe some) of those breezies got some
serious thangs happening behind the scenes. I hope the bruz bring
The CSI at-home kit, access to Trans Union's credit profile database
and use
DD form 398 and FD form 258 just to be safe. I also hope
Trojan makes mind and body condoms if the references and
background check thingee clears. Sister, if you look that good, make
$70k and are stable (chemically), you don't need a dating board. If
you build it, they will come. A large, round... you know helps too. Just
don't smile (can't trust it!)

Last, but certainly not least:
I have been told that I have no emotion. She laughs and cries, due to
lack of communication (so they say). We see each other all the
time, share meals regularly and max out phone bills (on each side).
Look woman, If I did not love your stank ass, I wouldn't call you. I
would never share my dreams with you. We would not go out. You
NEVER would have seen The Batcave and you damn sure as hell
wouldn't have got none. And plus, you been all up in my momma's
house and my sister didn't cut your ass. If that don't mean nothing,
then I don't know what else to say. You know all of the innermost
Blackisms, cause I care to share. You even got the last piece of
chicken and i'm 265 on a good day (you do The math).

It's Friday, dammit! I hope your weekend will be as dry and sexless as
mine. Until then:

Peace and Blessings