Version 2.0

Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


Friday, December 03, 2004

Friday, December 3, 2004

Van Damme!!!

Wassup fam, it's good to be back. I had some problems updating the
site, feels good to know that I have control back in my hands now. It's
tough putting this blog thing together, I wish... I had... more time.

Been thru a lot this week. My manhood was questioned by both a
stranger off the street AND my current's close friend. I watched World
AIDS Day go by watching my boys go mad over the women of
BlackPlanet, and I offended the closest person to me by just being

The first one:
I was at the check cashing joint this week, attempting to give my
entire check away for food, shelter and furniture not yet delivered to
my home when a young'n approached me and asked if I could buy her
and her 'friend' a couple blunts and some Henny. In my best Kyle
from Living Single impersonation, I flatly refused and tried to at least
not look at her ass as I took the high road and promptly went home.
Interested? No. Curious? Not even. December 1 IS World Aids Day,
and I was told that payment for getting these under aged mud ducks
some product would be favors by both her and her girl. Wow. This is
what I have to look forward to for the children I plan not to have?
Hells no. At least I got approached. Makes a chunky cat feel like...
This cat.

The second:
I got an instant message not intended for me, pretty much
questioning if I had what it would take to please and satisfy (or is it
satisfy and please?) the current on a regular basis. I'm not mad. It's
just conversation, but... The part that makes my hinges squeak is that
there was a complaint (or something close to it) about me getting all
spiritual and ish. You see, I am trying to get a relationship right
for a change, and what I realized from the past is this: for me sex
and shacking BEFORE The commitment made me complacent in the
fact that i was getting milk, butter and cream from the cow and I did
not have to buy it. I also dropped the ball on commitment (I got the
goods from The ex's for free!), and I would like to have a
relationship based on the principles of my faith instead of whatever
everybody else is doing. I am not questioning her, BUT... If my faith
keeps you from enjoying me the way you want to, then... YOU'RE NOT
REALLY ENJOYING ME!!!. I am a sexual being, just like all of y'all,
but, I have got to let The notion go that sex is The cure all or The
basis of a relationship. I am getting too old for this bad
relationship/good sex is. I need to know if there is compatibility,
understanding and trust before I jump in now. And since 40 is
approaching, I feel strong in my new belief system. I did all of that
nasty ass ish back in the day. I also never committed to the formers
(that's why they are former) and pretty much wasted their time and
mine attempting to repair relationships that were not broken. They
just were not meant to be. F_ck The past.

My guys rediscovered's BP Love machine. I must
say, there are a lot of dimes on The luv board, but I must say this too:
I am not attractive (you see The pics), I see myself as palatable. I
also consider myself normal, drug and disease free (that's a fact) and
I am medically cleared as clinically sane and I can get some. Really,
I can. From the nightmares that a lot of my inner circle have shared
with The brother, most (maybe some) of those breezies got some
serious thangs happening behind the scenes. I hope the bruz bring
The CSI at-home kit, access to Trans Union's credit profile database
and use
DD form 398 and FD form 258 just to be safe. I also hope
Trojan makes mind and body condoms if the references and
background check thingee clears. Sister, if you look that good, make
$70k and are stable (chemically), you don't need a dating board. If
you build it, they will come. A large, round... you know helps too. Just
don't smile (can't trust it!)

Last, but certainly not least:
I have been told that I have no emotion. She laughs and cries, due to
lack of communication (so they say). We see each other all the
time, share meals regularly and max out phone bills (on each side).
Look woman, If I did not love your stank ass, I wouldn't call you. I
would never share my dreams with you. We would not go out. You
NEVER would have seen The Batcave and you damn sure as hell
wouldn't have got none. And plus, you been all up in my momma's
house and my sister didn't cut your ass. If that don't mean nothing,
then I don't know what else to say. You know all of the innermost
Blackisms, cause I care to share. You even got the last piece of
chicken and i'm 265 on a good day (you do The math).

It's Friday, dammit! I hope your weekend will be as dry and sexless as
mine. Until then:

Peace and Blessings

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