Version 2.0

Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


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Monday, November 30, 2009

post 601

This is my six hundred and first post.

This is also my second to last post for the National Blog Posting Month thingee. I missed out on posting on the first of the month, so I owe you one. that I will do.

It's been mostly a few rants and a lot of hint dropping about my new business ownership. Leave it to me to let folks know in the next to last post that I have ventured into business ownership. Over the last couple of months, I've used research, prospecting, investment and risk management to be where I am right now with said business. It is what it is and I'll do what I can to be successful. This stuff keeps me too involved and too busy to be knee deep in emotion over it.

It is what it is and it will turn out to be whatever I put into it. I'll get specific about it soon.

I'll probably keep up and write more, but not every day like during November. I need to keep some sort of schedule because my work takes most of my day. It's like a whole new series of things have taken over my old habit of doing things. Keeps me occupied though, and I like that.

I also involved myself with 3 more ventures that take up the valuable time I used to surf and catch blogs with. Those you'll actually see right here on the internet if you look hard enough. Busy is good when you're doing something you actually want to do, and I am really enjoying working for myself and building. I'm hoping that it continues to be contagious...

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Sunday

*voting present*


Saw my sister off... I'm wishing them a safe journey.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

The Blahist Of Saturdays

Saturday was the blah-ist of days...

Nothing really happened today other than spending some time with my sibs and my wife.

No one actually acts like they appreciate time spent and the fact that folks are healthy and fine.

It's cool though. I treat each day like a Klingon with the saying "today is a good day to die!"

Seriously, it probably is. The fact that you comply with certain aspects of bullshit, bundled with the status quo and other people's excuses means that you live life and do what you gotta to get thru the day and get your your happy place of satisfaction and appreciation. Dealing with conditioning (both cultural and institutional), fear and intimidation is a part of making do with life itself.

It is a sad thing that there are just a few people out there that can deal with a smile. I am not one of them, although I no longer frown and complain about to the masses. I just nod and respect other people's shit and move on with mine.

Although it is rough dealing with spoiled people, the privileged and the clueless... I do.

It's entertaining to an extent.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Fr, Fr, Fr, Friday...

Since I'm required to blog everydamnday I guess I'll put something here for Friday.

Friggin Friday.

Um... lemme see:

Woke up this morning in Oklahoma and am currently blogging this from Chicago after waking up from a nap which means we did a little traveling. Got in this evening. Quick, fast and in a hurry. Them truck driver skills are pretty damn handy when moving cross country. Not tired by a lick. I want to go bowling but my other half got the ickies...

Whatever man.

And my brother JUST called on the way back from seeing 'Ninja Assassin'.

Fucker.

Heh. Dude just bought a pool table this morning at one of them black Friday sales. His house... Bring the beer and the limes. We brought back a GANG of non-leftovers. I call em' that because my mother AND grandmother in-law actually cooked us fresh jawns to take with us back to the Chi. Lucky us. I still want a snowball from the Oleagian's Snowball spot on Ponce De Leon and Moreland even though they won't be open until April.... And, um... They're in Atlanta. Uh oh, I smell another road trip!

You know, I just thought about it... The wife and I spent the entire damn year on the road and it wasn't by way of a tractor trailer:

Feb: New Orleans
May-June: Atlanta
July: Chicago, Tulsa
July-September: Las Vegas and a stop in Long Beach
Sep: Chicago
Nov: Cherokee Nation, Tulsa

And now the real work begins. Now that the opportunity to control my calender really exists via business ownership, travel will have to be put on the back burner because building a business is more important than anything else. And we're taking possession of a house in the next couple of weeks, so building that and balancing our schedules, networking, making new contacts and most importantly achieving goals (revenue, data, blah blah blah) becomes my/our life's work.

I'll be begging for days like today in the very near future.

But as for right now... ANOTHER NAP!!!


And then another powerpoint presentation to put together as well as creating a few job listings of different variety using the same copy from corporate to post for next week is in order.

Y'all be easy. Use the pepto and extinguish all of the cranberry sauce. Psyllium husk and juice feasting works wonders in getting back to 'normal'. I might sneak out after the wife's Theraflu kicks in and bowl a few frames...


SUCCOTASH!!!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thursday Blahs

It was an average Thursday with some un-average things that happened within it.

Slept in late, got up and did the three S's...
Visited, had brunch and came back to home base.
Went out, visited again, had a drink... Again, returned to home base.
Visited yet again after a stop over Grandma's house, came back and watched football.

Took a brief nap and got up to blog this right here.

See, an average Thursday with a few non-average things happening right in the middle there.

Folks were off work, traffic was calm and finally ran into chitterlings on the very last visit. I avoided them like the plague. Got a chance to watch all three football games with the exception of when I was riding. I didn't have to drive, my wife did that. Sweet ass. Let's see if she's game for running the interstate at o-dark thirty tomorrow morning in the next installment of the Ntimbanjayo Family Roadtrip.

She might be.

No turkeys or pigs were harmed in the making of our Thursday. It was good to get out and see people, good to meet others. You'd be surprised how much of today was a t-shirt and crocs styled day.

I hear Friday will be huge for some. Hope y'all ain't still drunk offa' food...

Blah, blah, blah (hey sis!)...





And that was my Thursday.








BUTTERSCOTCH!!!




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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Status Report

So we made it here... Deep in the heart of Cherokee Nation.

I ended up driving the whole way and it really didn't bother me. I thought of my wife and the difficulties she has with driving at night. Didn't want to go through any unnecessary drama with all of the big rigs and travelers out there not really minding the road, so I just took us all the way in.

No problem.

As we dove down the state of Illinois into Missouri, finally getting to Oklahoma a lot of things crossed my mind in the midst of loud music and a partially open window. The whistling of the wind forcing its way through the barely opened window complemented the noise perfectly as I somehow made a ten hour drive feel like running errands around town.

Been vegging all day, taking notes and studying numbers related to the business venture. I am beyond excited at this point and have been taking my mind off of all things business by sampling brunch and dinner items made by my mother in-law. Haven't been out, haven't done anything more than go over numbers, create a couple of slide shows and debate with myself about how I'll be managing my time come this weekend. I need to have a careful balance of things so I can spend time with my sister who's leaving Monday and get some stuff done businesswise as well as hang out with my other half.

I was moved and humbled when I read The Second Sixty-Eight's blog post earlier this evening. I'm still trying to find the words...

It's not a crazy or unnecessary anger/lashing out at the world or a cry for help when 'the shit' hits you. I too think too damn much about how I will leave my wife and family when I die. I work overtime literally and figuratively to make sure she is taken care of so there is no additional burden. The specter of death, especially when it happens in bunches will make you think of yourself, but I am now just coming to an understanding on how to deal with 'the shit' and how to make it work in my favor.

The fear or respect of dying should motivate you in all that you do. The realization that you are still here is enough for me to realize that I should enjoy every moment like I do now. There will be time for work, sacrifice, nonsense and crying but know that you are still here. The creator has a masterplan.

I don't get all in a huff over being thankful for things on one day out of the year. I do see that I have been placed in places, met people and have broken bread and have done things and experienced so much in these damn near thirty nine years that I have to stop, pause and take a breath and just give a spiritual head nod, a dap and a pound... And it doesn't take a day in November for me to realize and recognize.

All things in due time my friend.

Savor them good thangs from the past, don't second guess yourself about what wasn't done and look forward to what tomorrow brings by doing the damn thing today. I'm learning to do all of these things and it has increased the good, enhanced the quality of the great and gives me the opportunity to live the excellent, even when 'the shit' comes and visits in an attempt to share its misery.

Some of y'all got time off... Enjoy that. I'll be watching football.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Ntimbanjayo Family Roadtrip - Revisited









 The highway hijinx continues down old route 66 with stops in the following cities:

Darien, IL
Springfield, IL
St. Louis MO
Springfield, MO
Joplin, MO
Tulsa, OK
Chicago, IL


Be sure to check out the presentation later this week in the heart of Cherokee Nation!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Monday Night Live

Damn, I almost forgot to blog.

Not that I forgot, forgot...

I have been a little busy visiting folks. See, my sister and her family came in from Texas and there is a 2 month old that I just had to meet and spend time with.

Ooooh, the progress from the new business venture is off the chain! Can't wait to tell the world. Okay, maybe I can. The moment you tell folks something, there is always a naysayer, a doubter a band wagon jumper and a silent hater claiming to give you the utmost support. All I can say is that there is nothing like being self employed...

I feel like DJay from 'Hustle And Flow' suggesting that certain folk to repeat saying "I'm in charge" because they never either actually said it or have been there. It's okay. It takes time for a lot of people to drop their conditioning. It's weird though because that's all I read about learning about the history of our country, including the sharecropper hustle our ancestors were a part of.

It's time to hit the road. My other half and I are headed to Cherokee Nation tomorrow to spend time with the folks for the remainder of the week. Pics, vids and on the road blogging to follow. Yobo seems eager to get back home. I'll be eager whenever we get off the road... The truck driver in me has some concern about road conditions, fatigue and the hurry up nature of unskilled drivers, hungry and chomping at the bit to get to grandma's house.

Congratulations to Joe Mauer. Get that money kid.

It's a new moon! Nikki would have rambled on and on about that and the power it emanates...

Hey, don't let visions of turkey and dressing keep you from making 3 calls to your senator and congressperson. The senate's debate next week looks like a difficult conversation to have with some democrats saying that they'll filibuster as well as most all republicans. Reform is something that needs to happen. It doesn't necessarily have to happen the way its proposed or written right now so... Let your voice as a constituent be heard since they're eating thanksgiving dinner on your dime...

If you see me in and around the mall and over there at that one strip mall over there politicking starting in December... No I won't be shopping but I will expect you to be buying something... And no, I'm not the manager.

Or the salesperson.





Cribs don't pay for themselves.




CONVOY!!!



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Sunday, November 22, 2009

Running The Option

I just snagged this from the Chicago Sun-Times comment column posted by some cat whose screen name is 'A_Better_Tomorrow'. Check the vocab:



Any surplus, even $1, would be better than the $1,000,000,000,000. deficit President Obama inherited.
I wonder what tune you would be singing if Clinton left Bush a trillion dollar debt.

When passed, health plans will not all of the sudden be free. Your comments suggest you think the government is going to be providing free heath care to everyone. If you really believe that, that's sad. The government is not going to be paying for your insurance. The end user -- you, me, your employer, everyone -- will still pay for their own plan. The government is not going to pay for you, if that's what you think.

Let me break it down for you.

You can ship a package using private carriers, UPS or Fed Ex, or, you can use the public option -- the United States Postal Service. See, it's not hard. You decide what's best for you. But whichever one you pick, it's not free. Now, if you like your insurance--great, if you want to use the public plan, that's okay too (if available in your state).

Will public option plans cost less? Yes, because they don't have to make a profit. So if you switch to a public plan -- your out-of-pocket costs will be lower (good for you). See, just like it costs more to ship a package using UPS or Fed Ex than going to the post office.


Did he do a good job in explaining what could happen after a vigorous senate debate next month?

Maybe.

After yesterday, I think LSU should have run the wishbone instead of the option, huh? Damn. I had hope. Shouts to Ohio State as well.

Speaking of college football, another stolen quote this time from the one and only Roland S Martin via facebook and Twitter. Peep his adlib:

"I love it when Notre Dame loses. They fired Ty Willingham, saw Charlie Weis as their savior, gave him a HUGE contract, and he's horrible!"

I expressed that comment a couple of years ago. Like my man Ason Unique aka The short order cook in 'State Property' aka Old Dirt Dog aka Dirt McGirt dba Big Baby Jesus aka Osirus who y'all knew as Old Dirty Bastard said time and time again: 'Shame on a NUH who try to run game on a NUH!'

Uncle Ty, we love you man.

And to think, my aunt offered up 3 tickets to that ND game and I almost bit. Rolling up in my momma's house looking like a superhero Friday night. My cousin is in the band and I've never been to the big house in South Bend... But I just couldn't do it. Plus I was busy yesterday anyway. I think she probably wanted me to drive out there too. Hmmph!

Whatever.

When Notre Dame and St Mary's can get their shit right when dealing with certain folks as well as dignatries and such...

So glad ND lost. Roland was on it with that comment. Ascot wearing ass... Rocking that haberdashery like a 70s preacher with a pimp for a stylist.




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Saturday, November 21, 2009

592

This is post # 592.

I had to think of something to post about with me participating in National Blog Posting Month.

Coming up with stuff to post about isn't hard, coming up with stuff to post about everydamnday is a whole other thing. There is always stuff going thru my mind, so I'll share my Saturday load. Onto the mindspill!

  • I'm bugging out on how we as a people are just so damn quiet about certain folk wanting to legislate us back into the 1950s, placing certain controls over our sister's reproductive rights. From what I've read and heard on the news/talk stuff that I listen to on the satellite radio thingee I overlisten to as I drive (Joe Madison, Randi Rhodes, Glenn Beck, Warren Ballentine, Al Sharpton, The 2 Live Stews, Stephanie Miller, Sean Hannity, Brian Higgins, Kodjoe Namdi, and the POTUS channel along with others), write ups, mark ups and proposed bills other than the new advice being given about pap smears, mamograms and such are being composed by a few old, white men. That aren't doctors. Or women. Imagine that?
  • I'm planning on getting back out to Southern California sooner than later. I need to spend more time in Long Beach with the fam and Terry and I have more drinking and toasting to do. 
  • The wife and I are currently watching CSPAN witnessing republican cats blather on about nothing in the budget committee meeting, participating in the discussion to further negotiate the healthcare bill. These cats have charts, graphs and factoids but are stammering along repetitively with non issues. Wow. And we're paying for this. I wana laugh, but it ain't funny because this is purposely being done to stall... Never mind.
  • My sister is in town with her family. I'm spending more time with my 2 nieces and nephew (as wel as spending time with my other nephews but they're ALWAYS here, my sister's children aren't). I'm also probably going to drown in the masses of over a million and a half people when we take em' to the Disney festival of lights thingee downtown... And we might go to the circus too? There are like 6 to 10 kids totally DESTROYING either my mother or brother's house right now.
  • Women took a hit on the chin this week with suggestions on self care based on study numbers and not the human element, new bills on the floor of congress that may become policy on how, when and where my sisters will deal with reproductive issues and with Oprah's pre-leave announcement, huh?
  • I guess since we've tried other 9/11 offenders in NYC successfully I guess the constitution works. So KSM should be tried there and not in a military tribunal because um, er... It wasn't military or combat action that took down the twin towers
  • Iverson to the Sixers seems appropriate to me. You can always go home again, ask Bobby Brown.
  • Wait, Oprah obtained the Discovery Channel? Daaaaaaaaaamn. Biggest power move I've seen in a long time.
  • I was driving on the highway the other day and saw the arena where the circus is and you could smell them elephants... From like a half mile away. You think there's at least one outfit in someone's travel closet that doesn't smell like that? And furthermore, how does one kick it for some non-circus fraternization off compound without lighting up the club or venue with elephunk?
  • Omar's 'For Pleasure' album still gives... Takes my head out of the death game. I've mentioned about anger and deep thought about dying more than a few times this week. I can't shake it and I'm fine with it at this point. I've taken to a Klingon saying (Trekkie - sup Kirk!) used upon waking and in expression: 'Today is a good day to die!!!' I like that. Can't stop it, can't avoid it caused it a time or two either inadvertently or by choice so... Might as well accept the fact that death is a regular and daily part of life for the living, huh? Sometimes doing or thinking about other stuff isn't enough. Cats like Omar and the kind of funk he cranks out helps me get out of my funk.
  • Reminder to stay in Pop's ass after watching him down some grape soda and ice cream last night. Watching my mother and father in the same room at the same time more than twenty years after splitting is a hilarious thing. Other than my older brother who was absent, I had my whole damn immediate family in the same location. We probably should have made the announcement then, but there is hope that all of my sibs and I will be together before we split and go in opposite directions in two days
  • HUGE meeting with business partners Monday... It's gonna be hard watching football tomorrow and prepping for my presentation. Whatever, this one is in the bag. Plus, I've taken on yet ANOTHER marketing thingee that should keep me busy and decently compensated that blends in seamlessly with the other stuff already on the table.
  • Did you know that the National Association of Free Clinics has another FREE mega clinic screening thingee going on in Little Rock, AR today? So far, more than 1.7 million dollars has been raised to set up free clinics for folks that need a little healthcare. I hope people show up in bunches so the data can get to congress and I hope people that need help can actually get it
  • Bought yet another GPS module and I can firmly state that the Insignia brand GPS needs a faster processor and a little bit of Jesus. I get to put it to work big time in a couple of days though. Right now, I'm thinking store credit and an exchange for a Garmin product
  • Atlanta is still in play. It'll be different if that happens, but...
Pretty much what's going on up there. Now I gotta run to the cell phone store, and then back home, and then to the Cupcake Gallery for the grand opening, and then hand out cupcakes to the nieces and nephews, and sit with mom and go over the time share thingee, and then go with the kiddies and help them navigate the Festival of Lights thingee downtown with literally a million other people and then maybe the circus, and then a possible grown folk veg out if we can get my sibs away form the chilluns and then some quiet time with my other half.

Saturday. 592.

Friday, November 20, 2009

How Many Times Can I Say 'I'm Juat A Regular Cat' In One Post?

I live among a murder of crows.



Ain't no mo' you, ain't no mo' me
It's only us but no unity
Got yo' eyes open still can't see
You' soul is priceless but you'll die for free




I am just a regular cat. I have never attempted to put a title on my own shit. I had issue with other people calling themselves things they couldn't live up to (or even wanna) but that has passed. Sometimes folks need motivation, Others need fodder.

Whatever.


I am very flawed. I have made mistakes and some of them continue to shadow over me. I have had triumphs that I've forgotten and failures that just won't leave me the fuck alone. Just like everybody else. I ain't that damn special. Well, let certain friends, family and especially my wife tell it... We've known each other since 2005 when we were both in different places. We drew together because there was commonality. We were thrust together in 2006 because of the same thing. We were in the same place(s) at the same time in 2007 and after going thru some shit, it was evident...


That doesn't stop her from being the enemy sometimes. But that's how marriage is supposed to be, so we adjust and build trust all while giving each other the side eye.

I have friends and I have only one enemy. My friends know I'm loyal and my enemy... Well, my dad and brother stopped me from traveling south to actually cause that person physical harm. I had already let go of a lot of pint up shit, but I did want to take it out on that person anyway. The rage of a confused kid from the hood lashing out at nothing combined with the savage shit I learned in the Army is a bad combination for those that strike against me or mine. Things were put in motion to harm my wife and I lost income over negroes talking shit based on uncontrolled emotion and bad communication. Regardless how I got here I have a family and I will kill to protect them.

Just like you would.


Speaking of which, I was a soldier. I did bad shit. My mind charges my physical with constant reminders of the things I volunteered to do in the name of a few politicians which affects my soul. I know that there will be a heavy price to pay for my participation and cooperation for the things we set in motion... Charge that to my ignorance and conditioning, it got me a degree and IT certifications I do not use.


I owe people favors, a couple are owed to me and I hold a couple of secrets that have the power to crush, destroy as well as indict and convict. I owe people money, am in debt with the IRS and defaulted on one of my student loans. I have faith but do not believe, know more musically than I have read in books and I have never done anything that I regret, save meeting my enemy. I do not want to resolve that shit because I have an ego and I will not lose even if that means death. I secretly wish (it's out now that I'm writing this) death and destruction on one person and their family.

Is it you don't know? Is it they don't show?
If it is, then realize them crackers don't owe you no explanation
Yo' hesitation to learn the truth will be yo' extermination
That's why we gotta put the bullshit to rest
Excuse me, I'm 'bout to get some shit off my chest
 Brothas are still dying it aint' no excuse
A.I.D.S. got it where the people can't reproduce


I am saddened, feel left and insulted that I lost one of my best friends damn near three months ago. Saddened because I had first hand knowledge of what was going on and I could do nothing, feel left because she was my Gemini Twin in her creative while I was hers in my expression and insulted because mother fuckers still don't want to get that shit right regarding who we were to each other. There was a lot of chatter and outright lies bouncing around and aimed at my wife as to who and what she was to me. She was married at one point and got free, and although I knew this it was never in my place to indicate that to anyone outside of our circle.

Yeah, we had a circle. There were other people there, actually a bunch. She actually tried to fix me up with two of her girls (both are former bloggers so the inside joke was wider than a lot knew).  We vetted each other's lovers/friends and I just so happen to know that man that loves her most. Wasn't hard to keep those secrets because she was happy doing what she did and I respected that and her with me. It was hard to not lash out against the world because folks including those that called themselves close to me over the years thought something else.

It's sad because some of you will never know what it is to be kindred with someone creatively that you saw as an equal, even though I admired her talent and thought (and think) of her as leaps and bounds ahead of me creatively and wasn't afraid to say it. I was asked to remain silent and just keep things moving. I respected that, thought it would be the best thing to do and just rode the wave, knowing that there were some that didn't know, didn't understand and were probably just plain jealous of what they thought we had... The presumption of that shit destroyed a few relationships for the both of us but I look at that as a qualifier because it paired her with the man who loves her most and the woman that loves me unconditionally.

Um... Plus her guy got a chance to go unnoticed until very late in the game because people thought that she and I were... While my wife got hate mail and sophomoric rumor reports. Nice, huh? What really got me was the shit my wife got from folks when my friend passed away. It's a few of y'all out there that haven't grown past that high school shit. It's one of you that still can't get your story right and it (still) bothers the shit out of you. It's cool though. I hope y'all still have the power to facebook and/or blog when your ass starts to struggle thru a sickness or better yet lose your best friend or a family member. I have a mind to be right there like paparazzi on Brittany so I can root your ass on straight to your cold, damp grave or better yet, I might start a few nasty little rumors myself lying about how you got sick or who I thought you were fucking.

You disrespectful bastids. I am a writer and I can crank out fiction...


Ni@#as don't wanna listen when you tell it like it is
Can't even get his own cause you worried 'bout his
Regardless where you from I'm your got-damn brother
We ain't never ever gon' make it without each other
Seek and you'll find but we gon' stay lost until...
One Million Ni@#as Inside this frame of mind...



You see the truth is that I am just a regular cat. That's all I am. I care about my community and I want the world to be a better place. At the same time, I can only care about the health and welfare of my family, and in this time of 'Thanksgiving', I am grown enough to have dinner at my own house. That means that all that I do from this point is to build for the good of me and mine. I can love all of y'all but I'm going to have to do it from a distance.


Yeah, I've had death on my mind since I lost my sister from another mister. The fact of how things went down as well as us being the same age with the things going on in our lives and how they mirrored took me aback when things started to take a turn, and that affected me in a way that I did not understand. I still am trying to process things now, but I know (because Ladynay was on point in suggesting that I think things all the way thru to get to my next phase) that there is something for me to do, even if I die tomorrow.


I care not of what folks think. I share by blogging because I want to. Maybe that helps me, it ain't meant to inspire others because I am not a therapist or guru. Never claimed that shit, so don't give it to me. I know that the words I've written here have affected some, others more and in more ways than one. I appreciate that, apologize and hope that you understand that by spending a little time here that it's me mostly venting and going thru a sort of written self assessment. That's all this is.


I know that I live among a murder of crows.


Don't know what that is? Well, it's a bunch of black birds, scavenger and destructive in nature that sit and wait... Sit and wait for the destruction to come so they can feed in the aftermath. Every day I see more of them gathering and squawking, waiting for the fallen to lay unguarded so they can casually pick at their flesh. This is the world I live in. I'm still here for a reason, there is work to do.

I'm just going thru a thang in which I'm trying to overstand... Death can knock the living on their asses like it did me, and I'm just trying to find my place. I got lost in thought for a moment but I know I can't stand still. Everyone gets in a fog when things like this happen. I know what I have to do though. This is a hard adjustment because I know that it ain't going to be what we planned. Yeah, we planned some shit and my half is no good without the other half so I re-strategize.


I'm just a regular cat that probably does things in a way different than you do, but it's all for the same purpose. I have thoughts and emotions, needs and wants just like everyone else. I sometimes have the need to do things like everyone does. Like right now... I have to pee





Passages in italicized blue - Goodie Mob: Live At The O.M.N.I. -CeeLo's verse




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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Naked And Unashamed

I really feel like things are about to go south for me real soon.


I've been thinking about death way too much these days. Ever since a close friend passed away and family members got sick, I can't seem to shake the specter of death. It consumes most of my free thinking time. I wish I didn't think so much, but I do and I don't know how to shake this one off.

My time is mostly spent brokering my free time around what will happen when I die. i know it will happen and I accept that. I just wish that I wouldn't obsess over it so damn much. It's almost like I want to die, like I'm waiting to see my life flash in front of me so I can have my eternal a-ha moment.

I'm in the meeting room alone, writing this.. thinking about death.

More later

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

When A Closed Mouth Gets Fed

Well, it never does.

I wish we would do just that as a whole. I tire watching stuff gain steam that really shouldn't. You know what I mean. People, TV shows, so-called politicians, policy, forced opinion... I refuse to believe that we're going to just sit here and let this happen.

You know what I'm talking about.

Back in the day, a sucka would get his or her as whooped if they just popped off and spoke anything but the truth about someone, some families or some things. I feel like I'm the last person on this planet (minus Tom Degan, Terry and a few others) that is speaking on something of worth around here. I know people have problems, but...

Health care reform is on the table
A woman's right to choose is at stake
Brown people and folk of the like have sat on their laurels that they did not have...

What in the hell are folks waiting for?

C'mon, y'all!!!

Closed mouths don't get fed. They never had. They never will.

You know what I'm talking about.

I'm tired, just got in from work. I wish I had more time.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Nope.

Nothing to say.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Two Week Notice

So it's Monday evening and I got in around 9:45ish. I don't like it but I have to. No one else is going to do what I'm doing to get into this house, and I'm getting into this house.

Most times, I'm feeling like I'm doing this alone. Doing what I am to get the necessary things in order to take possession of this house is hard. hard on my body, hard on my mind and totally against everything I stand for, but if I don't do this, we do not get the home.

It's so beautiful. It's almost exactly what I think we need.

Right now, my body is tired and my mind is no longer racing and it's only Monday. I have to pound so much in and stay positive in my right now in order to accomplish what needs to be done to put a real roof over our heads. Don't ask me what I'm doing either, I'm not telling and saying exactly what I'm doing is not vital in the grand scheme of things, but know one thing... No one is illegal here.

I remember back in 2004 and 05 I decided to take my unrolled 401k from my previous job and take the 20/10 chunk out of my as and pocket the rest of the money so I coule be a real estate investor. Oh, I invested in real property and made a profit ot two in 2004 but in 05, I shacked up with a shady crew. I didn't get taken but I did get shot at one time I wanted to go and divest to place my stake elsewhere. Them cats ran a rent hustle on a few folks on the south side and I am still a bit remorseful in being a financier.

I wish I had that money now, this way I wouldn't have to do what I'm doing now. Don't get me wrong, I have no shame in what I'm doing and it ain't illegal like I said before and at this point I will do whatever I can within the law to do what I can to be a homeowner again.

Back in the day, I was that kid known to bust one's head open to the white meat...

I am laser beam focused to get this task done. I got so much more on my plate, but certain grown folk can care for themselves.

If I didn't take on the additional task of blogging every damn day in November, I would probably erase my whole blog and get to my private place.... I'm starting to get bothered at the task of blogging every day when I don't have much to say these days. I am not the me that I used to be. I enjoy being left the hell alone in my older age. I also don't answer to folks either, and this is starting to feel like I'm explaining myself, and that ain't good.

Whatever man.

I'm lucky I lost tons of readers. Makes this task much easier.

I'll blog tomorrow. 2 more weeks until terminal shutdown. And I'll be in my house, away and able to be by myself.

Peace Y'all. It has been a real experience. Really, it has.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Sunday, Sunday

Sundays are better days for me.

Something about my Sundays brings me calm. I'm not a church goer but I have visited those of friends and family. I do watch football, but with all of the gadgets, technology and other people being football folk, it's very easy to catch up with the big games of the day. I normally have no tasks whatsoever that I actually plan on Sundays, so I normally sleep in late enough to see the last fifteen minutes of the football pre-game shows and then if I'm up to it, it's football.

Other than that. Sunday is my day to veg out and do much of nothing. well until now.

-------------------------------------


See...

I started this post around 2 in the afternoon. It's now a little after 11pm.

All I did was veg and take 2 naps. And did some shopping.

Oh well.


EDIT: 11:12pm

As I know that my posts feed to my facebook profile, I realy wish that folk would check in every once and a while to see what's going on. Especially when there are plans previously made and you haven't called to check in and use facebook as a contact tool.

Whatever, man.

Today wasn't a shit day where I had to deal with family issues, sickness or the bullshit from others.

That means it was indeed a good day.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Saturday Night Live

Am I still blogging every damn day?
Sure I am.


Just got in from 'work' and boy it is work, but worth it.
For now.


I wish I could stay and talk but I am taking my wife out and having a drink tonight. Don't wait up for me, please. I have a day free of my dreadful local football team and I get the chance to hang out with my home-skillet.

I am so alive this evening... time to get into my Saturday.


Peace y'all.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Sick



Sick of seeing TV

sick of HIV
 
being the absolute ending of a life to be
 
sick of posing ass cats
with their weak ass raps
speading sickness and lies
through their weak ass tracks
 
sick of kids gone wild
women with wild styles
more manly than the men that can't relate to their child
 
sick of seeing no respect
families we can't protect
wic checks
suburbs being the new projects
 
sick of music being the only thing that can soothe me
 
and the drum runner is the one that lies to me.
 
and the program director syncs the lies on repeat
all the video are a fish eyed fantasy
 
my kids wanna see, that's what they want to be
the real ain't even rooted in real reality
 
and that's the shit they're cranking out on BET
and the bullshit that's rocking on your i-p-o-d
 
and ain't nobody listening to folks like me
a peace loving brother rooted in spirituality
 
you'd rather point your finger or your nine at me
cause my rhyme'll blow your highs, end your flights of fancy
 
you'd rather hate the ones that even look like me
even though when I see you - you looking just like me
 
if I cut you 
you'll even start to bleed like me
but because I got it you wanna try to take it from me?
 
you better blink family cause we all gots to see
without each other we ain't gon never come to be
 
but that's okay, you ain't really trying to hear me
cause I impede all the places that you're trying to be
 
cause stacking paper makes you that much better than me
even if your ass is rich and famous, bruh you're still lonely.
 
coming off ships -
shackled by chains
beaten by whips
 
and your chains and whips is all that you aspire to be
 
not knowning that that your stones and oil was stolen from we
and you never put a dime back in the community
 
but then again you don't want to share it with me
but you snap if we don't celebrate your victory.
 
I hope one day you can really really see
that the folks back on the block are not the enemy.
 
and dialouge with you is the true remedy
so all I ask for you to do is just talk to me.
 
I'll even wait my turn, I'll be patient, wait and see...
 
cause all I ask for you to do is talk to me
I'm being patient family, you just wait and see...
 
All I need for you is jut to talk to me.

2005 Hassan Olumoroti Ntimbanjayo    -     Ya Dig?

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Indifference As A Weapon Of Mass Destruction

So my dad was at his physical brink last Friday and it just so happened that my mother called him. For what reason, I don't know. They split over 20 years ago and they still have that bond, even though they both remarried. Enough of that. She said he sounded like he was some odd voiced cartoon villain that passe the final audition for some new, deep voiced Transformers character.

With phlegm. 

According to my mother's conversation with my sister, he was steps away from organ failure. Didn't matter which one, one of them were about to go.

After an ambulance call and him getting checked into an ICU after an ER visit, he was put into isolation because the docs didn't want to take any chances on him being affected by anything viral or bacterial because he could have had H1N1. He didn't. Kidneys leveled off to normal in three days. So did his liver and his heart. The questions remained by Monday morning exactly what in the hell got my dad's body all up in a tiff? As of Monday morning, we still didn't know.

The doctors looked at my dad's medical history and looked deeper into a particular thing that was really bothering him once they leveled him off and ruled out certain organ failure and heart attack and stroke. By the time my wife and I got to the hospital Monday afternoon he had been moved to a private unit (still under isolation) and looked and sounded phenomenal. But it was after they gave him a certain medication.

I talked to a specialist and asked about the drug and he told me that it looks like a certain medical condition and giving him the drug would have done nothing to help his condition if he didn't have what they thought it was. I understood because of what his life experiences have been. After speaking with my sister over the weekend and mother this evening, adding to what I already knew as well as advice and guidance given to me by friends and other professionals I already know where all of this is headed. We just needed the test results back. The docs said that they were due back today.

We didn't get em'. We were told that it would take another 10 to 15 days.

I already know. My mother and wife do too. My sister mentioned it. I tried to break things down to my brother, and he responded by not responding. Haven't talked to him since I asked him 'do you know what that is?" My dad needs to take this a little more seriously than I assume he's taking things. He seems a little non-chalant in taking his meds on time and minding other things like his diabetes.

I cannot actually say what he has because it hasn't been confirmed, but it has been explained in depth and detail. He knows. And he knows that I know. And he knows that my wife and I will stay in his ass...

That's the confirmation that I'm waiting for.

This shit ain't funny because I am not laughing.

Folk need to understand that life ain't guaranteed at all. Do something to keep the fire burning, it might just be keeping someone else very warm.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Is It Friday Yet?

I'm supposed to be blogging every day this month and one of the bonuses of me reading other people's blogs is that I get to learn new things about people that have similar interests as I. There are a ton of folks that I've actually broken bread with over the years that I've met because of blogging. That kind of thing hasn't really faded like I thought over the years. I'm still getting a chance to meet folk face to face and have a drink or two, maybe lunch or dinner.

Contrary to popular belief, I have not... Never mind.

I am in blogging content limbo over here. I have a situation where I cannot speak because I have not gotten back all the info I both want and need in regards to both my new business venture and a family situation. I can say that the only person I can talk to other than my wife is my mother, and she acctually fell asleep on my ass over the phone last night because she worked late. I have tried to talk to my younger brother about what's going on and dude just hung up. Can't get my sister to pick up the phone. Dad blew me off.

So I've been studying and gaining valuable product knowledge as well as getting deeper into my studies holistically. One thing a lot of turmoil prepared me for is these situations that I'm dealing with right here, right now. Not that I am not moved by sickness, tragedy or death, it's just if I continue to overconcern myself with others and not care for myself I will suffer. Um... message to those who care to know: I ain't suffering on behalf of others who volunteer themselves to suffering out of sheer friggin' ignorance. As long as I have health, wealth and knowledge of self I must put my personal thang in front in order for me to be healthy enough to be of service to the ones I love and care for.

Most of y'all have no clue what I'm talking about...

What I'm saying is, when things get rough I'll be the one people are going to turn to to gain some understanding. That job I do not mind. But... When you choose to not care enough for yourself and suffer due to your ignorance, I'll still be there. I'll get you a tissue but don't expect me to cry with your ass.

I'll have better content later on y'all.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

...

Today was one of those days where I experienced a lot, learned something new and traveled to a new place.

I just don't want to talk about it right now. Maybe tomorrow morning. There is so much that I cannot say until I get confirmation.

Ya dig?

Monday, November 09, 2009

Late Nite Monday Reading: Nothing Doing

Nothing doing today.

Spent most of the day all day with my wife.

Went to see Pops - Came back home - Took most of the day - We sat and talked - he's better.

H1N1 ruled out, there might be other things wrong here. I can wait. No problemo. Still my dad.


At this point, it may be best to shut the hell up. I've posted bunches of words that craft my opinion and stance on lotsa' stuff the past couple of weeks and days. I still plan on blogging everyday this month, I still have to work on completing my novel this month as well. Things to do. I'm also reading a book I won and taking notes on what appears on the pages as well. Homework.

Researching pricing on equipment and services related to my business venture. Also camping out all damn day at the new venture I made last week going thru a little product knowledge and talking points on sales, closing and conversions. Neat stuff. Once I totally buy in, there is a ton of cash involved in payouts and such. That gets us the new house and other little gadgets and doodads...

Whatever. That's what fruit is for... Payment for labor. Make juice, use the pulp and replant the seeds.

Wash, rinse and repeat.

Americans: Call your senator 3 times this week and check his/her stance on US Health Care Bill 3962. Make em' vote on it without filibustering all over the damn place. Pass or fail, call em' to the carpet.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Lazy Beer Laden Sundays

I guess I'm supposed to have something to say today but I really don't.

I vegged all day today, even though it was 73 and sunny here in the Chi - IN NOVEMBER!

I watched football, had some rotisserie yardbird and conquered a Heineken keg can.


Don't judge me.


Watched health care go over in the House... I urge all of y'all to place a call or two to your senators regardless of how you feel about the reform bill awaiting a vote. One cannot complain if one isn't a part of the process.

Rumor has it I'm going into radio... Whatever. It's a process, you gotta wait.

I think I wanna wax poetic on the cheeseburger thing tomorrow.



I so blogged this late on purpose.




.

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Nobody Respects The Cheesburger

It stands alone as the one thing unique to folks in this nation as folks should fear and respect but do not.

To me, the cheesburger represents so much more than just a hunk of fried or grilled meat on a bun with a touch of dairy and condiments. It represents all things wrong with our preception of gluttony.

I wish my Dad had a healthy fear and respect for that damn cheesburger.

I spent my entire day at the hospital because we thought my dad either had a heart attack and/or stroke.

He had neither, but he IS diabetic. He might have lost his kidneys.

To make it even worse... He might be infected with H1N1.

Worse case scenario, he might need dialysis.



What.The.Fuck?

More on this tomorrow, okay?

Fucking cheesburgers...

Friday, November 06, 2009

My Morning Anger

I am very angered over what happened at Fort Hood yesterday afternoon.

Not because some shrink was teased and he snapped because he reached some threshold, because I don't believe this was the case. I beieve that folk that do things like this have them planned already. Sometimes they don't know the time nor place or to what degree they'll do their damage, but I believe they know.

Something tells all of us what we're capable of... How one deals with it is the tell tale.
It still takes a lot for a man to kill. Overstand that.

This individual should have never joined the Army. According to co-workers, family and Uncle CID (we call the Central Intelligence Division that), he was already opinionated about certain things related to policy and needed no further convincing after counseling soldiers returning from the shit.

All I need to know. Now the times I get to sit in front of a television will be mired with case studies and stories of this guy with video montages and investigative reports and timelines on how and what he did. There will be stories about the soldiers and families that took a loss...

I used to live there. If memory serves me correct and if there hasn't been any new construction there, I know exactly where those places are. Can't say for sure but I probably utilized that very same place when my unit processed thru there. I know how calm and comfortable those places were. A friend of mine asked me how he was able to take out so many before he was taken out himself and all I could think was how it was when I was there in 1990. We were unarmed. We were always unarmed. There has never been a need to carry live weaponry on a military installation, even after September 11. There are police and security personnel that have live firing weapons, but other than that, we have shooting ranges...

There are countless arms rooms. One for each unit and the weapons we used to live fire are kept under lock and key, inventoried and accounted for at all times. All of our equipment is done this way to prevent...

Shit.

This is why I'm angry that this happened. He took them all by surprise because the only way this happened...

Yeah.

He was making comments and felt the way he felt long enough for him to have been processed out of the military. There is always room for another to climb on board and take one's place. It is still a volunteer service. We may be hurting for fighting troops but garrison employees are very abundant. Why this guy was still active and participating with other active duty personnel after his actions and statements in the past is beyond me. I used to process security clearances and fingerprint folk during my stint in the Army and how they investigated folk and how tight things were with investigations... Sheesh. This cant be right. Dude would have never passed muster to have still been an active soldier in my day.

Apples and oranges though. I believe that the basic principles and the premise in the military is the same now as it was in the past. I can be critical but I will not disrespect the process. Somebody did drop the ball though, and it cost us lives. Right here at home. This is unacceptable.

But he was. Had a lawyer he retained to help jettison him from the Army too.

In my mind this should not have happened, but it has. And now we must deal with our inaction and find a way to soothe the souls of more than a dozen families that lost loved ones not in a combat situation, but in the comfort and 'security' of a secure military installation known for its comfort and warm people.

And now I'll get a chance to hear the spin as well. The hatred and contempt for the few will rise and become very noisy now from certain masses. Yet another tool to be used to politicize things.

I will never forget. I am still one of you. You, your families and your sense of purpose and duty still matter to me.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

You Are Honored And Appreciated And Never Will Be Forgotten

As a former soldier stationed at Fort Hood, Texas, a former resident of Copperas Cove, Texas...

As someone familiar with the comings and goings of the 545th MP Brigade, III Core and 1st Cavalry Division...

A former member of the 124th Signal Battalion, 4th Infantry Division...

As a veteran and someone who still holds close the memories of Kileen before someone went rogue...

I cannot understand exactly what happened and why. To say that I am stunned is an understatement.

My heart goes out to the families and my respect is given in high regard to the fallen. You will never be forgotten.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

And I liked to take a minute just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air...

Excuses are bullshit.

I think that some of the things that used to hold me back was my reluctance to actually deal with bullshit, regardless of what level it exists.

I figured that getting close to 40, one's bullshit tolerance level would be next to non existent, but I beg to differ. Folks still act like children more than twenty years removed from high school. I really try to avoid dealing with folks that bring drama, excess and the like to the table because I spent much of my time years previous to this mired knee deep in bullshit.

I understand that some folks need to create something artificial as to feel like there is something going on in their lives, but I need folks to stop by here and read my stank ass to know that you already have things going on that if you would remain focused and dedicated to DOING YOU that this could be enough to keep you satiated.

There are a few people I deal with on a more than regular basis that have good things going on in their lives. They are employed, have a spouse or significant other and have activities that can occupy their time constructively. And that's a good thing for them as well as myself because although I know a lot of talented people, our interests just aren't the same. I would like for a time or two to just delve into their world and participate in whatever it is that they do for leisure. Just as I like to travel and see new places I believe it is the experiences that help round out our time here on this planet and make it worthwhile.

But when a person creates his or her own reality show moments...
Attempts to add or spice up their shit by roping someone else into emotional turmoil...
Carefully and consistently creates rifts between themselves or between others for their benefit...

That's when my bullshit meter goes off and I just have to take two steps back and just not deal with it. It's a very simple formula for me. Keep the bullshit away from me and just do what you do. Your personality and purpose alone is what initially drew me to you, why can't you just do yourself and keep it moving constructively in order to keep order about things?

I now know that some folks keep their shit cluttered because they were either trained, conditioned to do so or have nothing better to do and based on fear of their own shit create drama to distract themselves from having to deal with real world things.

It annoys the fuck out of me because we're better that. Always have been.

In the past two days I have attempted to talk to my wife and two close friends of mine still partially jacked into the Matrix about fear and doing stuff in spite of it. I have to describe it like this because I believe that Joe Madison's statement of conditioning comes into play in some form or fashion in its own unique and individual way in each of them and it affects the way that they do things as well as manages the output and twists the trustworthiness they have in me by way of what comes out of my mouth and their overstanding of said words. Don't know the statement? Well here you go:


"In America, we are culturally conditioned to believe that all things white are superior and all things black are inferior... And due to this cultural conditioning, African-Americans are undervalued, underestimated and marginalized"
- Joe Madison

And although I started this post out yelling to the world my stance on not taking bullshit, I walked away from the post and did other things. When I came back to the net to finish this I ran across this video which is what I'd like to believe is the perfect counter to my kinfolk putting up barriers, blockades and drama as well as totally ignoring all things that make sense and purpose just to remain blissful in one's ignorance due to fear of success and purpose in life:



I really don't have time for excuses, because that's what I think drama is. I'm also tired being around people that use the excuse of a dream to attract people and then sham on the actual work it takes to get the dream done. We all know that a lot of black folk have been culturally conditioned and a lot of us see the exit but are afraid to jack out of the Matrix because that big pile of crabs pulling the other crabs down look like a fun bunch. This is the story of most of my family, friends and extended loved ones as well as associates. I can only be an intercessor to those that need interceeding. That's a voluntary thang, y'all. Like Sovereign told me a looong time ago - in order to be one, you must ask one. Red Pill or blue pill? That bunch of crabs does look kind of fun! Let's lose focus and purpose and go down there! It's all fun and games...

Until they get pulled down into the crab barrel themselves.

But wait, didn't that person convince themselves that the crab pile is where they wanted to be? So the act of getting yanked is the after effect of the initial thought, huh? Meaning they were already down there in the first place and have no one else to blame.

So why bother in pointing fingers, laying excuses and placing blame?

Bullshit, I tell ya'.

Ol' Fresh Prince also said something else that sticks with me on the daily:


"The five people you spend most of your time with will dictate your success in life."
 - Will Smith


Start counting...


Either lead, follow or get the hell outa' the way!




.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Free Your Mind And Your Ass Will Follow

 Sigh...

Sometimes, your mind can work against you and help you with the same electronic flashes of energy.

When I finally turned in around 2:30 or 3:00 (which is damned early for me) I turned everything off. I even unplugged the modem to keep its blinkiness from distracting me in the dark. I did my final check down (I still do that, there is still a little military in me), scanned the area in my final safety check and then got comfortable in the bed after turning out the lights and laid it down.

It was nice.
It was quiet.
It was comfy.

BUT IT WAS LOUD AS HELL IN THERE!!!

I'm talking about my brain. There was a hell of a lot of things popping off all up and thru there to the point where I decided to not ignore things. I tried my best to lay there in the physical quiet to attempt to address all of that thought, that chatter going on in my head. I think this was the first time in a long time that I actually paid attention to that. Normally I'd either ignore it, blanket it with alcohol (years ago) or just stay up and let a thought or two manifest itself into song or verse, sketch or note.

Not this time.

By kind of just laying there and having some sort of mental filing system filing thru my thoughts I found that there weren't tons of them all fighting to get to the relevant part of my head for review, it was just a handful of things and a few other random thoughts playing the backgound jammed into a small space, fighting for priority. Went a little something like this:

  • The plan is to present the best proposal on Thursday in order to be selected because remaining a 1099 status dude is what we want. It is what we want, right? It has to be. That would be just like when you were getting that trucking money as a independent contractor, but you don't have to live in the back of a truck...And you'll be home every night. Is there anything we need to do to refine it before Thursday?
  • That' a BIG-ASS house man. It's just you two anyway, do y'all need such a big ass house? Wait, your last spot was big and y'all were still bumping into each other... Well, not all the time. Y'all did hide from each other in that last one a few times. Hell, we used to wake up and disappear into that man cave for hours on end, but this time this spot has a basement and a yard. Damn, that's a big-ass house Bruh! Don't you like the fact that it's way the hell out there too? Cause the last time you invited certain folk over to the compound, y'all fed their ass and basked in libation only to suffer back wounds from all the stabbing weeks later because they really appreciated yall's hospitality. Probably was still full from that visit too... That toxic shit cannot even make an impression on the doorstep of that big-ass house. Enjoy your space man. Fuck sharing! Except with your wife...
  • I still cannot believe it happened like that. I still can't believe that you're gone. I accept the fact that it did happen but... I had no earthly clue that we vibed like that... Like that! We talked every damn day, IMed and texted each other with silly ideas and cool suggestions of scenarios and prose and about life itself. We never hid anything when we talked openly about our relationships and significant others. We used to even pile onto each others problems and dreams with the most cynical, sarcastic and loving commentary because we both really did care about what was happening in our lives and wanted nothing more but peace for each other. That and artistic success. Even when we got emails, phone calls and comments about each other from folks outside looking in wondering how in the hell we were kindred, wondering just what kind of relationship we had, we would just look at each other, shrug our shoulders and keep it moving... It's hard for me to keep moving without you, but I am your brother from another mother and not your brother nor your mother... And I never was your lover or the friends numbered 3 other. And I've seen the pain in all of them.
  • You gotta let go of that man. I mean, really... how long are you going to hold on to it? You cannot go into your 40s holding on to what damn near killed you in your 20s. You suffered all thru your 30s over this shit. just let it go. Please! You no longer need it, it no longer needs you so just stop it!!! What are you doing... Put that hot dog down!!! Wait, you ain't eating that hot dog, are you? Dammit, MISDIRECTION!!! GYROS ALERT! GYROS ALERT!
  • You know they want $4k in a few weeks right? You got half of it. Wait, you have three quarters of it. Can you get the other grand and still pay the current house note and car note and fuel and lunch and the mobile internet thingee and still have date night and cook dinner everydamnday? I know you can. Just call Peter. If he doesn't answer then I know that Paul is available...
  • Do you really want to go back into the education field as a last resort?
  • Remember that one time when you were abducted by aliens and they had to let you go because they tried to pass off the anal probing thing they did to your cousin as colonic irrigation? Well, they are at it again tonight on TV, trying to pass it off as a TV show. Evil lizard bastids!
  • Go see your brother. Not him, the older one.
  • Save your money, Tucker. This place doesn't have porn. They think its immoral. You know, that really grinds my gears! Where in the bible does it say that a man can't fire off some knuckle-children in the privacy of his own neighbor's living room while his neighbor's at work because I don't have a DVD player? Well, I don't know where it says it because the Bible was way too long to read! 
  • Akufukuzae hakwambii toka  
  • You know, that meatless night we had was damn good. Now if I can just convince the missus to do that every night with me the magic can happen. I mean, seriously, does she love meat more than me? This shit ain't native to our kind anyway. Is it driven into their minds that much in the south that it becomes a way of life to the point that it leads to the early deaths of so many? Man, we gotta talk...
  • Don't act surprised when the Democrats get the snot beat out of em' today in these local elections. If congress and the Prez had just used the majority like the Repubs would have if they were in power and already passed healthcare... Land.Slide.Stuff.  Whatever, man.
  • [Dressed up as Spiderman climbing on a clothesline singing to the tune of the Batman theme] Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Spiderman! Spiderman! Here comes Hassan on a clothesline but his name's not Hassan it is Spiderman! Spiderman! Come on Diva let's get busy maybe right here in the garden Spiderman! Spiderman!

And when I got thru with this half my mental filings, it was damn near ten o'clock...



Every day in November, see. Every day.

.

Monday, November 02, 2009

Ice Cold Words To Kick Off NaBloPoMo & NaNoWriMo

This month, I'm participating in National Blog Posting Month and National Novel Writing month in which I'll do exactly what both of those narrative/titles say. The plans are to have a fresh, new blog post every day for the month of November as well as me going to my private place to attempt to write a novel in this month's span. Thanks to my BlogSis The Original Oldgirl LadyLee and her participation and the support of others in both actions/causes, I have been motivated to support and have heeded a call to action as well. I mean, I just found out about these this morning, so please forgive me for not posting yesterday. I will more than make up for this within the month.

Wish us luck and continue to stop by. I have no earthly clue as to what will appear on these here pages in the near future.

__

I have always been moved by most of Andre Benjamin's words.I posted half of this as a facebook status this morning. I always get something out of this cat's words. Check this verse:


Styles will change
They say change is dang-erous
As a king standing on the terrace
While his ___ pointing up at the rightful men
Cowards never know when your life will end
Then... live like there ain't no 'morrow
And if one come then this the motto
Now I put message in bottle
You go to the nearest beach and open your car door
And you walk to the place where the sea meets the land
Yeah it's easier to run the street than walk in the sand
Hey I'm talking young man
As if chalk in my hand
I will take yo' little ass to school
It's cool
When the kids call me sonny, the hood calls me stacks
The bees call me honey, Hollywood calls me back
Crack and I have a lot in common
We both come up in the 80's and we keep that bass pumping
That's a nega-tive comparison, embarrassing
Unfortunate that if you come up fortunate the streets consider you lame
Ha, I thought the name of the game was to have a better life. I guess it ain't. What a shame
I don't slang. Never slung but I'm one with the slum that has a name well fitting
Plenty cheese getting. No wonder why they call it the trap
So watch your tail and I'm not kidding
The rats and mice will give advice, they say, "you can paint and draw
Get out of here. Go show them that we're more than slanging raw."
That's when I broke into my Big Rube impression
And I tried to enlighten but that night I learned a lesson
That the morals that you think you got go out the window
When all the other kids are fresh and they got new Nintendo Wiis
And your child is down on her knees praying hard up to God for a whopper with cheese
Do you B) hit the street hard with a flair
Or do you A) go to school for heating and air?
Dare make an honest living or make a crooked killing
Or do a bit of both until you're holding on a million?
Brilliant. You got one foot in, one foot out
You put your left foot back in and then you shake it all about
You do the hokey pokey til you turn your life around
That's what it's all about. 3000 out

From the song 'Royal Flush' featuring Raekwon
Outkast

Yall' be easy.