Version 2.0

Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


Friday, December 31, 2010

Have A LadyLee New Year!!!

I thought I had the capacity to blog with regularity, and then...

I didn't.

Same stuff, too much to do and not enough time. I thought I would type something here, not because it's the last day of the year, it's just that I wanted to express something. I still don't know what that something is. Yet.

Looking back at the past 12 months, I can say that for the most part I put my head down and worked on relocating by building up some moolah, which I did. That's it. Nothing else of major interest has come up. The fact that I got sick and shortened my lifespan wasn't really that major. It's just a reflection of poor habits.

I go off and on with my vegetarianism, and I like alcohol. Lots of it. So I get what I deserve. No problem with that.

I do want to give a special X-Clan type, vaaaaaanglorious shout out to someone that cared and looked out for me this year. From check-ins, keeping me in prayer to actually sending me herbs, I want to thank my BlogSister The Original Oldgirl LadyLee for just being you.


I know that you constantly keep me in prayer and give a damn about my health and well being. You have gone above and beyond the call of duty for lil ol' me, and I have no words on how that makes me feel going through my transition.

I have no clue what the new year brings... I have no clue what condition I'll be in and where I'll convalesce... I do know that the bayou is what I like as far as my surroundings and this is a great place to rest, recover and live as well. There are of course more folk than just Lee in my life that care and are helping me heal, I just wanted to single out the Oldgirl for just doing what she do.

I'm just thankful that I got people, few as they are...

Other than that, there's a local radio personality that said something the other day about entering the new year:

Spend the first six months of the new year minding your own business, the other six months staying out of others...

Nuff said.

Friday, December 24, 2010

When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong

I got a phone call from my older brother yesterday. Out. Of. The. Blue. Didn't even know he had my number. Neither did he.

I haven't spoken to this cat since June.

We talk about general stuff for the first five minutes and then he tells me that Mother is going senile. Haven't spoken to her since July. It was her birthday yesterday. He wondered if I called. I didn't.

After further conversation, big brother revealed that folks were hoping that I would revert back to the old me, dissociated from the perverted world that had me claiming myself as a non-christian and come to my senses and celebrate and rejoice in the upcoming birth of our lord and savior.

Barack Obama?

He laughed and then joked that little brother asked him to call. We haven't spoken since the 4th of July.

Notice a pattern here?

And then he joked: "What the fuck is wrong is you? You need a kidney or something?"

I then asked him to go to the VA hospital and identify himself as next of kin and to request the test to see if he could be a donor match.


He then threw another joke at me about coming up with $250,000 to make that happen.

The conversation then went askew towards other things. He wanted to know how I was dealing with life in general. He asked me about my quality of life. I answered honestly, wished him a happy belated 40-something like a birthday (something I never do) and then told him that it hurts every damn day to be me.

We then set up an appointment for him to get over to the VA and get tested.

This mutha fucker has never done anything for me. EVAR. Even though we might not be a match, I was brought to vaklemptness for big brothaman to at least come in and give it a shot.

Humbled, shocked and thrown for a loop. 

He had to swear to not tell anyone else in my family in order to set the appointment next week. We ended the call with me saluting him for just having the nerve and him telling me that he wouldn't try to hit me up for a quarter mil.

He said he could get down for about ten thousand.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Festivus... For The Rest Of Us

 "Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated... For now."

This is my airing of grievances, according to the guidelines of Festivus.

Look that up. My brother hipped me onto it during Sienfeld's run. The simplicity and odd-ball-ness had me intrigued after watching the Festivus episode. It's not that I never paid attention to Sienfeld before the finale (and subsequent reruns), it's just that I am probably the only Spiritually Grounded Atheist/Agnostic Sci-Fi Supporting Skeptic you'll ever know. Festivus gives me something to play ritual to, just like everyone else.

Odd that I have no other grievances to air, especially in this politically charged economic downturn of a climate.

Where in the hell have I been? Working. Plotting. Managing my time.

A couple of months ago, I found out that I need extensive work done under the hood, but because I'm not an automobile, some of that basic routine stuff that needs to be done will cause me to slow to a stop earlier than most. So I decided to manage my time a bit better and that meant limited blogging, working longer hours during the warmer months so I could have the opportunity to do a few things before I'm physically unable to do that stuff during the cooler ones.

And plus, I don't have that much to say these days. It is kind of cool to watch how things play out.

I think I want to use blogging at this point as more of a journaling tool as to what happens to me. I know, I know it seems like I'm talking in code but come back more often. I promise I will be more direct. I think I need y'all to see how things play out for me. I've always wanted to explore the concept of ars moriendi from a distance but...

I pray for the right amount of time, healing and understanding of my method of madness to take place so I can get a chance to do a lot of the stuff I promised myself and others that I'd do.

So I'm switching up the blog a bit. More observational stuff as it pertains to life processes and less ranting and complaining about stuff that doesn't reach so far down the rabbit hole to affect me.

I do promise to keep this place very disjointed and kind of weird in the upcoming days/weeks/months. Until then, there are always things like Festivus that I can get into and actively participate with limited energy. I still respect your faith, traditions and all that you do in this shared festival season, but...

I gotta erect my Festivus Pole!

Tomorrow: The Feats Of Strength!!!