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Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


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Monday, February 14, 2005

Peace and Blessings in the name of the most high...

I took a week off, but not by design. I didn't get a chance to work out,
didn't get a chance to blog to my site, I did work on my business plan but that was about it.

My Brother and sister in law gave birth to twins last Monday, from there,
the course of events that guided the wee was set from there. It seems
that everything I did last week was tied into either family, friends or duty
towards them. I am still tired, didn't get much sleep due to running to the
four corners of the earth, other than that, this week I cleanse, so it should be a fun read for you.

Thursday: Deep Tissue Massage
Colonic
Friday: Left eye lasik surgery
Sensory deprivation float
Saturday: Police department Exam (whatever!!!)
Baby Shower for the twins (it's still on)
Farewell party for my girl Ruthie
Sunday: Catching wrestling PPV with my dad

It seems that my time is something that no longer belongs to me
anymore. I am in the middle of plotting and strategizing to bring the good ish, and that seems to take up a lot of life space. I will get a chance to cleanse and get rubbed down later this week.

A three day workweek... Good ish.

I wanna open up to y'all... So I added a chat room and discussion board.
A lot of y'all have been speaking to me, some I haven't heard from in quite
some time. It's nice to know that The Creator has blessed you with health
and prosperity. I do have one wish, I wish that we can cross lines so the
forums emanate from there. Plus there is a podcast coming in a few where game will be chopped and topics will be covered that matter to those that exist in the same realm I do.

I was recently asked by coworkers who my favorite superhero was. I
really didn't think about it much, the answer came right out. My younger
brother. Now I do have an older brother, and he was definitely in the
running, but after further review, the former beat out the latter by a hair.

I sit back and watch this cat, and it's amazing how he (and my older
brother) does what his thing. He's a college student, husband, father of
three (him and my sister in law just had twins 02/07/2005) and has the
nerve to still be on the humble while providing and guiding life as well as
adding a little satisfaction to wifey (twins? Damn!!!)

I can actually recall my brother from day one. I remember my mom telling my older brother and I that she was pregnant (again!) and that four would be a good whole number (actually five, but my older sis was called home early and we were blessed by my aunt, but that's another story) and we ran with it. I remember him running and not walking his first steps, and him having to get entirely undressed just to use the bathroom.
He's always been independent of the others in a way that I really cannot
explain, where I am distant and come around only when I want to be
bothered, Lil Bruh' is always involved in family matters, but still is given the time to think and reflect alone, he is indeed a thinker.

I remember him and my litter sister becoming close, you can't separate
the two to this day! They protected each other in ways only a sibling can
do. You see, they grew up in a time different that I did, and I was either a
teenager doing my thang or an adult trying to establish said things, so I
was a big brother. I mention that because right before Lil' Bruh and sis
started to come of age, my parents split and fending for self was very
necessary. You see, I grew up with a father. If I needed guidance or to
relate to something, pops was there. As many ass whippings I got, I'm
glad he was there to set me straight. It didn't hit me that they were
without until I was overseas and unable to do anything about it. So I
came home.

When I got back from the military, I made sure that the foot was put
down. When it came to showing Lil Bruh and sis what not to do, I made it
clear. I realized that they were watching me with intense scrutiny, and I
had to make sure that an example was set on what a black man was to be. They kept me on point. I could not be seen as a failure in their eyes. My dad at that time was coming back from his drug problem, and my mom was working 16 to 20 hours a day. I would not have my kinfolk out on those streets. It would have broken my heart to have seen either one of them fail, and back in the day, my older brother was "assigned" my sister, Lil Bruh was mine.

When my girl and I hung out, my brother was there. When we made
those field trips that couples make, he was there. When he wasn't hanging out with us, he was involved either with church activities (him and my sister perfected this puppet ministry show and had a successful run) or with other members of the family. Much respect goes out to my Uncle Ed, who was a major role model for not just my brother but my cousins as well. He showed the boys in the family that a black man could achieve whatever through faith, hard work and respect. That and other things seemed to work.

Bruh had a hard time accepting the fact that pops couldn't make the time
due to working on self. My dad had to re-find himself, so for a little bit of
time (you know which years, the formulative teen ones), there was little
contact. Pops had beaten the habit, but being a black man in America,
starting from zero at his age was difficult to say the least, and it wasn't like we were all there for him at times. Just being honest... But he overcame. My brother saw this and had to respect and acknowledge it. We all bridged that gap with pops and I think it set the wheels in motion for my brother being a dad and a leader.

I watched him go thru the changes. I watched the struggle to stay off the
corner. I watched him go thru relationships. He handled himself better
than I did in those matters. Hell, I'm 34 and still without wife (by choice,
of course), that is based on choice. I watched him make the choice to
become husband. I did not know that he had it in him. I knew he was
ready, but he never showed doubt. That was faith, and he stepped out on
it. So far, so good. In his mind, he had already taken care of business
when it came to marriage and family because he had the examples right in front of him. My brother was working on hero status years ago.

Lil Bruh would call and ask questions after he got married. I could not
answer, he already knew so I had (still have to) play Morpheus to his Neo. He is the one, but he has to just believe in it and let go. Last Monday, I saw the look of fatigue and terror in his eyes, after his sons made it to this realm, I saw relief, but the fear was still there. It's supposed to be. I would be terrified too. 3 boys. 1 job. 1 wife. 2 years. I already see some of his thought. I already see some of the plan. Them boys gon' be alright because he already has taken care of them. His faith is working.

I enjoy him explaining his thought process, I majored in electrical
engineering, and so did he. He flexes his mathematical skills (yeah, twins) and damn near over analyzes almost everything to a fault. This is good, because as a young black man in America with a family, you gotta have survival down to a science. He maps, just like me (although I map more than dude in A Brilliant Mind - bothers folks) and his follow thru is certain. Now that he has kids, he really cannot fail. I watched this dude just jump in and hustle for that change, Bruh' is serious about his paper. He actually comes with an idea, goes somewhere to plot it out, speaks on it and jumps right in with the revised plan. I'm more cautious. I admire his bravery in taking risks, especially with a family.

One thing I especially like is his spirituality. Dude will not budge or
compromise his beliefs. This is my grandmother and my dad. The thought of my dad and how/what he believes damn near brings me to tears. Lil Bruh' sometimes questions his faith, and there were times where overstanding does not balance the under, but he knew that God will only give you what you must have and take things away with blunt swiftness. After seeing that look in his eyes Monday at the hospital, I know that his sons, my nephews are destined for greatness. This cat has the blessing of handing down all of the knowledge from parallel sides of two great black families. The balance has been handed to him. I think my role as advisor has officially ended. It is my brother a decade younger who I will now ask. Now there are things that he has yet to experience, but one must let a man travel his own path, so I step back.

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