Version 2.0

Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


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Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Boredom

I am currently bored with life...

Sort of.

I have my health, am in the process of redecorating my apartment, have a good paying job. My friends respect me and treat me well. I am kinda-sorta seeing someone special. I wake up, go to work, have lunch when it's time, come home and do it all again if the next day calls for it.

I pick up my clothes from the cleaners Saturday morning. I take out my trash on the regular. My laundry days are Tuesdays and Thursdays. I rotate the sheets and bedspreads every other day. My phone bill gets paid on the 17th, My rent, promptly on the first day of the month. I refuel my ride on Sundays and Wednesdays like clockwork (the cost is killing me, but, whatever).

I wake up at 4am, get to the gym by 5 and I get to work at 7:40 every weekday. Like clockwork. I listen to a De La cut every morning before I leave the house. I have 2 prefabbed hash browns for breakfast, a bowl of oatmeal and 2 bananas for a morning snack, 2 veggie burritos and a protein shake for lunch and another protein shake with either tuna or chicken for dinner. I make sure I see "Girlfriends" every night at 10:30, and then to bed.

I am starting to hate my life.

It is boring.

I am grateful because I am all put together (2 hernia surgeries - nerve damage in the left ankle, arch pain in the right - never repaired a broken left thumb and it lets me know sometimes - reconstructive knee surgery on the right knee - lymph node removal from a cancer scare back in the day - diabetic - food aversions to dairy - a minor back procedure) and I have not had a problem that required a hospital stay or medication in quite some time. That scares me. I'm afraid that it will all hit me at the same time, leaving me in a vegetative state... OK, it doesn't really scare me. What does is the fact that my life is so predictable and boring and I feel that I will never get to do all of the "fun things" I set out to accomplish when I was younger.

I never married, have no kids and just reacquired an old pet, and now that we have gotten used to each other (again), that process is also routine. I tried quitting my job some time ago, and I ended up working for a new firm doing the same thing I did for the old one, but with better money... And an office. And more responsibility. Wow.

I used to skydive, so the adrenaline rush thingee has been done before.
I thought about going peace corps, but I'll miss the internet.
I'm almost too old to rejoin the Army (been there, done that anyway).
I can't become a spy (CIA and FBI says the body is too broken down).
Already did a quarter and a half-marathon.
Sold real estate.
Sold Amway.
Sold Education (was an University Admissions Advisor AND an Executive Search recruiter).
I tried my hand as a recording artist.
And did the music production thing too (when the rap thing failed and I was one of the few that knew how to twist knobs in that environment).
I write, but I hate everything I put to paper.
My photos suck.
I can only sketch and paint myself.
Lived overseas and traveled abroad... Didn't go everywhere, but now I fear US backlash.

I feel like I'm running outta things to do.
It depresses me.
And spell check doesn't want to work... So fuck it, there will be typos

5 comments:

NameLiar said...

No typos...only three words of slang the spell check didn't understand. Otherwise the blog is perfect.

The Brown Blogger said...

(sigh)...

Anonymous said...

See thats why i fuxx with you. You know exactly how I feel. You make me feel not so crazy. Now I know I am not alone with my feelings and opinions. Thanks.
Tamenika

Anonymous said...

See thats why i fuxx with you. You know exactly how I feel. You make me feel not so crazy. Now I know I am not alone with my feelings and opinions. Thanks.
Tamenika

Anonymous said...

It's wonderful to hear you are redecorating your apartment. I redecorated my Houston apartment and it turned out great. I wish you the best of luck with your apartment.