Version 2.0

Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


Friday, September 09, 2005

Happy in Hate

I guess since everybody's been on this random thought thing and I've been absent for a minute, It's my turn...

A portion of this tragedy down in the delta and the gulf is some of our kinfolk's fault. We did not prepare and did not take Katrina seriously before she hit. We paid for it, let's move on and rebuild.

A few people that I would like to see combust and burn to ash right now on the spot:

Kanye West (never have I wished death on a fellow rapper - oh, wait... He doesn't rap)
Barbara Bush (you hot now, mami!)
Michael Brown (I hear that shit burns slowly)
Did I mention Kanye? (to the remix of 50's "Disco Inferno")
the left side of my family (just like them vampires in the "Blade" series)
Urban radio program directors across the US and Canada (I used to love Mariah...)
The entire FOX News Channel (on the air - I like to watch!!!)

So I'm at home and have overnight packages to send because I'm working from home. I got a handful of prepaid DHL letter cartons that have to get out. So I call the carrier for a pickup...
Great, they'll be here between 2:30 and 4:30. I take a breather from the computer and step outside to find the DHL delivery truck creeping slowly down my block. I have the package in my hand... I step towards the street and approach the truck, waving the bright yellow and orange packages with the corporate logo at the driver. We make eye contact and then... HE SPEEDS OFF!!! I reach for my cellphone and call the carrier to complain. I did. Nothing they can do. Was given some excuse that maybe the driver had a specific delivery time to make, causing him to speed off and not return. I go back outside again, maybe an hour later and guess what? Truck is back... Creeping. This time I approach the driver's window. I speak to him. He's still creeping forward, looking for an address. He's ignoring me. I get in front of the truck. He slams on the breaks in surprise. Yadda, yadda, yadda.... Didn't see me the first time. Didn't see Me approaching the truck (I was at the driver's window, talking very loudly... Whatever.) Makes my next announcement apparently obvious:

I am moving out of the Midwest. Took time yesterday to also look for employers and find living quarters. There is absolutely nothing in the Midwest for me to invest my time into. Physically, spiritually, familywise, emotionally... I just hope that it won't take long for me to get the hell out of Chicago. Nice place to visit...

I threw away all of my writings yesterday. As of right now, I no longer write. Maybe some garbageman will find my shit and create the next great urban American novel...

I erased all of the music and recordings off of my hard drives. I no longer perform music and/or poetry. I am (again) pulling down the blackisms website and I am also no longer contributing to this blogspace.

I am tired.

I am bored.

I am disappointed with where I am in life right now. I'm secretly wishing a quiet death somewhere where no one can save my ass... I had my chances to do things, I blew them all.

Add my name to the combustible list.


Echo said...

Ohhhh No!!!! Tomorrow is a new day. I will be checking back and you better be here. I will definitely keep you in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

HASSAN!!! YOU'RE scaring me. How can you just give up the things you love so easy?

The Brown Blogger said...

Because it's the easiest thing to do. No deadlines, no hassles over what goes where, no worries about who thinks what and why.

I just need to create distance from that person and all of the things he does. Not that I want to be someone else, I see that I no longer like him or want to have to deal with his bullshit.

All that stuff I created no longer belonged to me anyway.