Version 2.0

Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


Thursday, October 13, 2005

Getting Grown... Continued

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Wow, I'm Learning a lot about what brought some of us over the threshold into adulthood. Thank you for posting. There is such convo and infosharing as well as rants and raves so I'm going to let this marinate for another day. Feel free to continue to comment. Use these questions to really question yourself and motivations. I also threw a few new questions in the mix because of the responses I got so far. I'm glad we got this chance to open up and reveal whats inside of some of us...

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, because I understood as a child. But when I became a man, I put away childish things.

What do you know about being grown?

When did you make the decision to no longer deal with business or personal matters that did nothing but propagate childish behavior?

When did you decide to handle your business like a grown ass man or woman financially?

What did it take to help you realize that your surroundings had more to do with you living immature than hanging around those that constantly acted that way?

What and whom have you outgrown, and why does it hurt (a little) to not be able to say anything because you know they have to have their "A-HA!!!" moment?

When did your wardrobe and speech change?

Your eating habits?

Your choices of entertainment?

And... Why does it feel good to be grown right now?


When did it become very serious to have a spiritual base in your newfound adulthood?

How did your views on sex and relationships change when you got grown?

You only get one real friend in life. How does that person play in your mental, physical and emotional state as it pertains to getting grown?

How broke and restricted are you right now in your growness? Or is that vice versa?

Are you anywhere NEAR the goals you set for yourself when you did childish things?

What will it take for you to truly be where you are in your life, and why haven't you acted sooner?

The Apostle Paul spoke those words, he was speaking of his growth both as a man and of his faith. When one makes the decision to be a grown ass man or woman, everything changes.

Everything, 'knowwhatimsaying?

Speak on it then.


Anonymous said...

Great post. HELL YEARRRRR, I know what u saying. I may have to steal this and answer these questions on my blog. Thanks. GOOD SHIT

The Brown Blogger said...

You know it's good...

Just like dem greens.

Genesis said...

being grown is....well shit i dont know. i have only been an adult for 4 years. for past 2 have been actually forced to act like one.

all in all, grown= handling ur business, getting ur shit together, taking care of yourself, later with that childish shit. is there a right or wrong answer for this?

i didnt decide to be grown...i find myself acting quite youthful (when i am happy) at times. i am not immature though.

my choice in clothing hasnt changed. i never saw anything wrong/yound/immature about the way i looked.

my way of speaking hasn't changed. nothing wrong with the way i speak either.

im now ive already realized i had to get my shit together. i just have to be brave enough to do it.

as far as why it feels good to be an adult?
it doesnt feel good to be an adult. i hate this shit. i like having the freedom to do whatever the fuck i wanted. i mean, i have that freedom now. but i had no worries. no REAL responsibilities.

other than that....


Genesis said...

the things that might need to change is my eating habits. my father says so. i eat the wrong stuff. i have to start off learning how the cook.

toneec42 said...

Ugh - good questions! I'm not sure I made the decision to become a grown up, but I know that childish things are not appealing to me anymore (most of the time) and I have little patience with other adults who don't know how to act like grown-ass men / women.
Perhaps working with young people, who have the right to act childish, but sometimes are more mature than their parents / guardians has pushed me over the edge.
I also know there are some childish things I need to still put away (financial planning being at the top of the list). So it's still a work in progress but when He is finished with me, I shall come our as pure gold.

princessdominique said...

I am truly and I mean "truly" feeling this post.

The Brown Blogger said...

Insane In Tha Membrane: We all gotta get over the hump, how have you done that? When did you have your "A-Ha Moment"? How different do your thoughts, actions and the way you carry yourself differ from "back inthe day"? Don't leave us hanging...

Funk Doc Spock: I see you're still on the fence with this one. There is that "gray area" one can exist in where the blur between non grown people's shit/grown folks shit is just that... blurred. I think it has a lot to do with what/where/how one wants to go and do. Sometimes things like children pushes one into the grown folks relm faster. And why do you think you're losing freedom? Yes, getting grown has duties and responsibilities, but those things actually free you rather than restrict you. Something is frustrating you and methinks it's finances? And why are you scared? C'mon bruh, the waters are warm.

Oh, and you do carry yourself different when you get grown. Youe speech and clothing choices change. For the better I might add. Somethings just aren't worth buying and some things are just worth saying these days (for me). I dress for comfort, stlye and functionality (I am a suit, but I still rock the Roc) and my words have meaning (edification and humility) now more than ever.

tonee toni tone: I remember my "A-Ha moment". It was due to me working with a bunch of young folks and just observing myself from the outside, not liking what I saw. I couldn't move forward with what I wanted to do because I was out playing with a group of big ass kids that had no idea of what responsibility is/was. And then the cell phone got cut off, Momma left voicemails cussing me out (did I call Momma this week?), collection agencies started sending letters, I started gaining weight (and drinking more), work became a hassle (it blocked clubbing) and I fell off my square emotionally (because "kids" are all over the place). I'm very close to 40 so financial planning is an absolute must. There is almost no way I can give 30-35 years to a company in today's climate, and hustling after 40 is not an option.

million dollar princess: I see how you sprinkle grown ass thoughts, spiritual yearns and superficial wants on your blog. Interesting. Lord help you when you do sell over a million copies of one single title. Your inner child will make you a mature ass kid. I love the fact you balance that right reality and youth in order to squeeze out all the damn toothpaste out of the container. We all have things to learn from you. And each other. A favor, por favor? Speak on it. When was your "A-Ha Moment" and how would you answer those questions?

Anonymous said...

Do you still luv me, will i still get fresh flowers and poetry daily, will you still rub my feet when im tired and stretch my limbs properly

guess who

Genesis said...

u hit the nail right on the head is finances that are bothering me.

p.s. im not a bruh, but that's okay.


The Brown Blogger said...

sorry... figure of speech. I say that a lot. Maybe I should have put that in quotation marks. Got it from the Overton character offa "living Single". It applies to a lot, especially now.

Wassup with work?

Hustling or grinding?

The man got his foot on your neck?

What's the financial plan versus what you can REALLY do?

Trust me, it gets better. The loot aspect should not interfere with getting grown.


KHALLI 88 said...

Great post, let's see actually watch the violent death of my dad, mom and older brother at 13, that thanksgiving weekend didn't have to wait for adulthood to arrive it found me but through it all GOD still has shown me beauty and while no longer the child in a physical sense, a part of me will forever be that 13 yr old kid. Enjoyed the blog

MsPerdie said...

Shit, I know alot about being grown. I'm 28, have a 7 y/o, single parent, go to school part-time, work full-time, live by myself, with my child, have lived on my own since I was 18, so I'd say I'm pretty grown. And I think (for some people) having kids makes you get grown, even when you don't want to.

I went to an after hours spot one night, and the cops raided it. I knew then I had to stop hanging with the people I was hanging with. Thanks but no thanks. have a child to go home to.

I've outgrown my friend jay, and it hurts so bad because I love him dearly. he's the same age as me, no kids, no responsibility, and his favorite thing to do is go out damn near every night and drink. He has goals, but for WAY down the line. Can't do it. I'm working on my goals now, and you're not doing anything but bringing me down.

It feels good for me, because I'm independent, don't have to answer to noone, and I can do what I want to do.... (for the most part).

Great post!

Black Wombmyn Chat said...

I knew I had finally become truly grown when:

...I became a lot less concerned whether people liked me or not.

...the words "fuck it" began to roll more easily off the tongue.

...I was a bad bitch because I had an awesome mind--and not just a succulent ass.

...I was able to stop resenting the times when a bitch had to take the high road to maintain peace and harmony.

Anonymous said...

I feel you on that Middy. Learning to say FUCK YOU and FUCK what you think or feel is being grown. Hassan, I thank you for this post, because it brought a lot of things to clarity for me. Not to say that I wasn't already aware of these things, it just gave me a sense of reality.

Anonymous said...

You're IT. You've been tagged.