Version 2.0

Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


Saturday, December 30, 2006

So Glad This Year Is Ending... Aren't You?

So I'm at target early Thursday afternoon. Saw a few cats from the group 'Pretty Ricky' up in there. There is a new years concert and they must be staying at one of the hotels around the stadium. Yep, target is right next to the Allstate Arena (capacity 19,000).

I get my generic crystal lite stuff and wander to an open register. There isn't one. A sister comes to an empty register, turns on the light and yells out to me; "Dread! I'm open baby."

Word is born.

So why when I get to the register she runs away to get a camera phone pic and an autograph from the Pretty Ricky cats, leaving us hanging for 7 minutes?

Did I mention she was in her thirties?

And had the nerve to come back and tell the long ass line that she didn't mean to keep us waiting?

Lying stank-grown-ass heifer.

But that wasn't the half, guess what happened later that day?

So I'm at the big ass lie-bury downtown, right and I gotta go.

Real bad.

I know that this spot takes care if its patrons seeing that the place is a showcase here in the city and it hold the name of a great man. And they got auto plastic seat covers. So I go to ask the security guard exactly where they are on the floor I was on and the adventure begins...

I followed his finger to the direction of the bathroom and busted in there. I heard someone chuckle, but I paid them no mind. I went to the end stall and took off my overcoat and sport coat (yes, I do it like that) and copped a squat. I even crushed the duck if you know what I mean...

More laughter and then:

"Girl, I got go"


I peeped the feet of the person in the next stall. Dammit...


I am trapped in the end stall of the women's bathoom facility in the middle of a real bad number two. I was there for 45 minutes.

and now for a year-ending BLACKISM:

How will James Brown’s death affect Hip-Hop?

James Brown is the Grandfather of Hip-Hop, of course recognizing Kool Herc as the father. You’re talking to a 25 year theologian, and Christ is my s**t. Jesus is my s**t, that’s my n***a! [Laughs] This guy, James Brown, dying on Christmas is very symbolic. Dying on Christmas, we know God is looking at us! We established right here and now. According to Christian tradition, James Brown dying on Jesus’ birthday means that Hip-Hop starts today. If you ask me, I think we should start Hip-Hop over on every Christmas. James Brown dying on Christmas, Lord have mercy! We have the opportunity, right now, to take Christmas [to share a federal holiday for Hip-Hop]. We can use federal law to our advantage. James Brown dying on Christmas Day means that for us, we don’t have to celebrate Christmas no more, that’s over! That “White Christmas” bulls**t is over! Jesus wasn’t born on Christmas, we know that’s a lie now. Christmas has nothing to do with the birth of the Christ, much less gift-giving, commercialism, and consumerism. Now, Hip-Hop has a chance to reestablish what Christmas really about. Christmas is about the birth of the Christ within yourself. You celebrate Christmas and you don’t say, “Jesus is born on this day,” – the ancient reason is Christ is born in you! God is born in you for another year. James Brown passing on Christmas could mean the birth of Soul in you. He is the Godfather of Soul – not Pop, not R&B, not Rock, not Blues, not Jazz – Soul music!

We should print the lyrics of “Say It Loud (I’m Black and I’m Proud)” and we should say it every Christmas. [KRS recites lyrics] He summed up the entire Black struggle. James Brown dying on Christ’s birthday shows not only who he was – Christ returned – but that Hip-Hop has a chance, politically, to take a day. Let’s celebrate James Brown! Hip-Hoppers celebrate the birth of their Soul, the birth of their Christ, the birth of their nature. Every Christmas, we gonna play James Brown records. All that White Jesus stuff is over! Matter of fact, I’m gonna call James Brown “James Brown the Christ.” When you look at Jesus, look at James Brown. Why wouldn’t you? The first painting of Jesus – the White man with long flowing hair is not what Jesus looked like – we know this. But we accept the lie out of habit, and it’s destroying us. The Vatican knows this! The Vatican says Jesus could be any color, any faith. Why not James Brown? Hip-Hoppers could say “James the Christ.” Further, Lord have mercy, in The Bible James was the brother of Christ. Hip-Hop could do this so sweetly, and take a federal holiday for itself, establishing what Christmas really means.

There is nobody who is more influential to Hip-Hop than James Brown. Kool Herc said that James Brown was the A-1 b-boy, the first MC, the first DJ – ‘cause he had two drummers. The drummer was what the turntable was today. When one finished playing, the other’d start, and sometimes they’d play together! Tell me this man is not the Christ! Tell me this man is not is Hip-Hop, straight up! James Brown is our artistic father. We all sample from him. This is a day where we exchange gifts. The gift exchanged with us from James was our culture. He freely gave his music to our culture. To me, that brings tears to my eyes! That’s some god s**t. That’s the lord and savior. On December 25th, James Brown gives the gift of himself to his children. What’s the gift we should be givin’ back? We should be givin’ back his request. “These record companies stole from me, get it back.” Get it back, children. There should be a James Brown Soul Museum, not a Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. James Brown.

Happy New Year, I guess


Anonymous said...

I will not laugh at you. All I want to know is if you waited until it was empty to leave or did you just bust out when you were finished?

Naomi said...

I wish I had been there with a camera. ;-) Wishing you lots of adventures in 2007!

Anonymous said...

wow. I cant really say much more. I have done that though. I was had just gotten off the treadmill. I felt slightly disoriented (I always do when I got off a treadmill no matter how short I am on it) and wondered into the women's bathroom. It was sooo embarrassing when aa cheerleader caught me. Thank God she knew me so she left and showed me to the men's room.

Rose said...

Now that bathroom visit is funny as heck.

As for the cashier...she had stars in her eyes. She must be a fan but at thirty, that's a bit old to be so start struck. Still there are many who are.

Have a Happy New Year....

aquababie said...

i can't say i've wandered into the mens' room by mistake. lawd a mercy :) and i have to admit...i laughed.

Shai said...

I have gone into a men's bathroom only to realize that I was in the wrong one when I turned around and saw the setup was not the same. LOL. I was like hey this not the bathroom and a man comes in as I go out. LOL. I laugh and he smiles and I say opps wrong bathroom.

Now the taking a dump in the wrong bathroom, I may stay in a lil later too but not 45 minutes.

The Brown Blogger said...

Okay I'll admit...

I was stuck in there for 45 minutes. Luckily the library was closing or I'd still be in there.

Aly Cat 121 said...

Well sh*t if you gotta go, you gotta go. And I thought mens bathrooms didn't have no doors on them? *smiling to self*

So...Wise...Sista said...

45 minutes? lol

Ms_SoCal said...

Thank you!

Anonymous said...

dude ... the ladies' room? that was too funny. Happy New Year!

*snake*bite* said...

Happy New Year hun - hope you had a good one!