Version 2.0

Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


Wednesday, June 06, 2007

that's not what I meant...

I really didn't want to just put myself out there like I did Monday, but I realize that in order to answer the larger questions someone has to ask them.

So I take back my statement from yesterday.

To answer a question posed from Monday's post:
Question - How does one detach emotions from sex?
Answer - Exposure to those that have perfected it will give you all the detail in the world.

There was a lot of womanizing and belittling of expressions of love in my upbringing. From Father figures to Father Whatshisname from the parochial school my entire family attended, pimp-ism in the form of 'we don't love them hoes' was the standard and the goal for most men. I am a product of that. Partner that with the blackploitation joints, the dis-assemblage of my community and the infestation of drug culture from fill in the blank, I picked this method of life up and ran with it until I hit what I like to call my heathen wall.

I want to be free to move about and do what a free man does, and that is love and be loved. I cannot die without having that.

and property
and revisiting Africa
and having the possibility of making babies... I said I want the possibility.

My cold shoulder has been turned from unlove for a long time. I just wish it would reciprocate.


Gallis said...

I think it wasn't there before because you weren't ready or receptive. Now you are.

Kudos to you. Most folks never even wake up.

aquababie said...

i'm one of those people who can separate emotions from sex. i learned how to after i got divored 10 years ago. now i wasn't giving it up to every dude that asked. however, if i was interested, i bit. i learned to learn myself as i woman and how i like to engage and be engaged. there is nothing wrong with that.

what would be wrong is if i kept participating in that and my soul was crying out for more. when you're tired, you move on and do something different...which is most times for the better.

i can't knock you for your honesty. that's makes you a hell of a man in my book.

Little Brown Girl said...

I was extremely impressed with your honesty! And BTW I love where you desire for your journey to take you...

free to move about and live as a free man; and property; and the motherland; and the possibility to give life...BEAUTIFUL! May God Bless you with FREEDOM!

She Her Me said...

Once again--blunt, honest, and DEEP. Yet another reason why I love, love, love your blog...

JustMeWriting said...

dag...that's what's up; an ex once asked me , "why couldn't/didn't you love me back then" and I said..."becasue God needed to get me ready" When we try to go off on our own when mess up big time, but just wait until I've been pruned and primed...then you've got something rare and special...I'd say you're in special mode...and that's a wonderful place to be.

Luke Cage said...

Brotha Hassan.. nice piece of honesty and writing my friend. Maybe it's a rite of passage for some of us men. During my dating days I had a strictly physical relationship and it was all instigated by this woman. And I wasn't used to that.

I was the one seeking more from her. Maybe not so much in terms of "love", but I needed something of substance. I really wanted to be loved at that moment, but it was evident she just wasn't ready for that at that time. Later it was a different story. But I had already moved on to something bigger and better. Exactly what I was seeking, coming at a time when it was right. I feel you man. And everything that happened to me, although painful at that time, I wouldn't change it for nothing. Kudos.