Version 2.0

Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


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Monday, April 20, 2009

Mondays...

Are boring. I like them but... I don't know.

Whatever.

I got a week and some change review coming maybe later after I run some errands. I also need to express my thoughts about then end of things. I can see relationships, residencies and bonds breaking in the very near future.

The fact that I know I'm undervalued, marginalized and underestimated before I even walk out of the door leaves my faith non-existent. I officially have faith in basically nothing. When the world lets you down you have folk to fall back on. When your people fail you... Well, you're back to fending for yourself and you hate the day you even put an ounce of trust in them.

You told them things that you just couldn't tell anyone else. Yeah, I blew it. I can't blame anyone else for my failures. The fact that it's a rainy, dreary Monday means nothing to me. The fact that I woke up today disappointed in who I gave my trust to sends little mental shockwaves thru my veins.

I really messed up and I really can't hit the reset button. There is no reset button to hit. It feels like I'm at the tables at some random casino and I'm down to my last dollar. I really should take my money off the table and go home.

But it's Monday and it's boring. I have nothing better to do. Even if I hit a big windfall with my last dollar, it matters not how much of that I'll have in my pocket when I get home.

Now dig, I'm not depressed nor angry at anyone or anything. I just know that this is what it is. I always have another direction in which I can travel, the only cost would be time and effort. I'm realizing that most of them paths usually end up with the same storyline.

I got stuff to do. I wanna come back and post pics and thangs from last week. It's Monday, something has to be done to fill the spaces.

Peace, y'all.

4 comments:

Bananas said...

Speaking of gambling, like you, I tend to wager with trust more often than I should. And I always seem to lose a lot.

I just can’t figure out if I don’t understand the game well enough, or if I just keep belling up to the wrong tables.

Big Mark 243 said...

Just wanted to let you know that I am reading you,and hey, need not say more.

Is Derrick Rose a baller or what?? Jeez Louise!

I'm Off The Air said...

I totally feel you....totally.

Gallis said...

I hope you are ok.