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Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


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Tuesday, September 01, 2009

The Remnants Forever Staining My Memory

It was April 2006.

I composed this piece and sent it off to her





We move within silence not
knowing if that motion is directed
towards completion.

To me silence replaces distance,
so I make noise as to keep unspoken
feelings audible.

If I can hear, then I know that you're close.
It comforts me knowing that your emotions
are within arms reach.

I hope that actions mean completion
of us. I pray that distance only means
that we'll be together in the meantime
and that we can grow out of individual
space.

In time.

The clicking that interrupts white noise is
me eagerly responding to you. At times I'm
afraid to pick up the phone, during others I
become a coward, withdraw and anticipate
you typing.

I get short of breath.

Silence broken ushers curious gladness.
Reconnected via wrists and fingertips helps
smooth quiet loneliness out. It replaces
conversation, but only in a season.

I write in silence only to break it with a
yearning thought. I read aloud to exercise
the power of the written word into spoken.

Words have the power of life and death.

I view pictures with hopes of recall
enhancing our face to face. Every
now and then I check my pocket
to make sure I have enough to
bring that thing together.

I can't swallow. That thought so tense.

That thing is time. Things happen in
due time. Timing is everything, it's special
that I might want to dedicate said
time for a long time.

We move within silence not knowing if that
motion is directed towards completion,
but we want it to.

We want it to, right?


Her response: yup, and that was beautiful, hassan. absolutely
beautiful. :)

It meant something different at that time. I had a meaning of kinship recently and now it means something totally different. And I really thought that simple words, although I do love them had a singular defined meaning and held its prose when you composed them. I was wrong. Although the intent of this composition was one thing, it actually meant to convey something else and she got it, others did not. I caught hell for publishing this piece at the time we both knew what this was.

I had found a lyrical soul mate. Man, we had love for words.

We never got around to creating that album we wanted to do, but I do have the bits and pieces of other things written from 2003 and beyond although anything written from September 2009 and beyond will be so one sided.

7 comments:

Ladynay said...

I don't comment too often on your blog, but I know you and a few others were a lot closer to Nikki than I was and I am sorry for the loss of such a precious and talented life and spirit. My heart aches so I can't imagine what you all feel.

Take care.

The Brown Blogger said...

Thank you.

I wish things were different, I really do but that would be selfish and me doubting the master plan The Creator put forth.

I am so glad thru words, IM, text, emails, fantasy football, phone calls and such she was able to touch so many that could not break bread with her. The love you all are showing is comforting in this time.

aquababie said...

she was a special soul. damn i'm gonna miss her!

The Second Sixty-Eight said...

Yeah bruh. I understand where you coming from.

Anonymous said...

Its sad that she has to leave so soon. Her blog entries were crack for the cerebral.

The Brown Blogger said...

Yep. And I still go over there for a fix...

VerseOne said...

Peace Hassan....

It's is truly amazing who Nika was to so many people. I'm not sure how it was possible for her to be the lyrical to you, me, and countless others.

I'll miss her proofreading my latest joints, or being there when i conquer stagefright and finally get on a stage.

Whats more devastating is I only found out yesterday she was no longer here...

....peace. keep in touch.
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