Version 2.0

Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


Thursday, April 01, 2010


Neglected this blog is.


I could rant about the loss of Marvin Gaye on this day 26 long-ass years ago with no heir apparent in sight...
I could write about all of the wonderful April Fool's jokes played on this day...
I could review the smashing mini-slate of a phone I copped (the HTC HD2 if you're asking) and how I got 3 places in line for iPads Saturday morning...
The term 'Negro" actually existing on my census form...
How now we gotta prove (in more ways than one) that racism actually took place Sunday before last and that our sworn representatives aren't lying just to drum up unwanted political and racial firestorms...

Not going to do it.

Instead, I'll be brief and go on about expectations.

Everyone wants to be rich. Either that or real nice-like. Good job. Nice home. Kids that won't rebel against you and will do you proud. A good tax attorney. Some people have dreams and write, sing, dance, slang crack rock or has a wicked jump shot just to reach what most consider the unattainable.

Some of us get close. Some of us actually score the touchdown. Others serve and help others up and receive rewards greater than a check in their mailbox with a whole lotta' zeros...

What happens when in all of your hard work and sacrifice you get upended by the very last thing you think would trip you up? What about your health? What if you had everything you wanted in life, only to know that eventually, sometime soon that would come second to you giving up everything in order to have a proper healing moment?

All of those other things don't really matter anymore, huh?

I spent much of 2009 witnessing my closest friend detach from the 'world' to concentrate and focus on her health. She never lost love. She never lost family and true friends. She even had the fair weather folk extend their hand in comfort as she slowly lost the ability to achieve all things material and then she lost her life.

It's hard to watch. It's easy to participate because you want to comfort a friend. You never think anything like that could happen to you even though it hits so close to home. I now have my moment. From this point, my focus no longer resides on the track with the rat racers. I now have my own health battle to fight.

Funny thing is, I am so prepared for this moment thanks to being a part of experiences (yes, multiple) that ended some lives and forever changed others. I no longer exist to compete with my contemporaries. I have a home and all of my necessities, I am able to get the things I want on top of that but this is no longer my priority. My longevity depends on my ability to learn from the past and adapt (and change) to live in comfort health wise. It will be a challenge because of  cultural conditioning...

But I'm up for it.

If you've read this far then I have an assignment for you. Diabetic Nephropathy . I gave you a freebie by linking the Google Health page to the name of this dis-ease. Look it up, then look at a friend or family member. If there is someone with diabetes in your circle, then do something about not letting them get to this point. The feast of materialisms and our participation in it is a reason we get to a point where it feels like bricks are crashing through your roof onto your living room floor.

But alas, I was prepared for these moments. Not many have been prepped to leave the Matrix, embrace change and apply the opposite of what we've been taught. I got a feeling from all of my waiting room visits, peers and total strangers I come across carrying heavy, life threatening burdens out of sheer ignorance (like I have) I won't be the only one affected.

What are your expectations in life, about life... Once you're forced to unplug?


Big Mark 243 said...

I should have something to say but the words get caught in my throat and won't come out.

My Mom had diabetes and ... well, anywho to get to your question about 'what I expect', I simply expect that I will attain my desired goal of finishing school. Then my plan is to become a teacher/mentor in a public school system somewhere.

As far as 'unplugged thinking', I want to say that I have already unplugged and am going to try to live 'in' the Matrix.

Anonymous said...

In a way, I'm kinda unplugged now,'cuz I have a cataract that although is not a permanent condition, thank God, at the moment it limits my daily activities to a degree that was not there before. So I'm sorta practicing for total unpluggedness.
I'm feeling how it is to be dependant on others and somewhat removednfrom the mainstream of life.
It's not a good feeling. It diminishes ones self esteem,and depressed to a degree. Until I can correct the condition, I have opted to keep busy to the degree that I am able, by taking short term classes and my painting, gardening etc.

I think to the extent that one is able, one should have developed hobbies or passions to keep as busy as possible no matter what. For example, writing and poetry as in your case.

Not quite clear if it's you that has the kidney condition? and is dialisis in the near future?

As usual a very thought provoking post. And one that perhaps not many want to tackle, but it should be.
Be well and take care.

The Brown Blogger said...

It is, and at this point, no.

Nicki Woo said...

Not much to say, other than this. These hurdles that we have to jump in life are not always obstacles. I have seen it many times, that when a great illness comes, only then can great transformation occur. It is through these difficult times that we can really see who we are, and recognize the holiness that lies within. Blessings.