Version 2.0

Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


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Sunday, May 15, 2011

'Starting Over From Zero' - Hassan's Plight

I, Hassan Olumoroti Ntimbanjayo hear by say will all willfulness and with a sound mind that I am afraid to branch out (with all of the traveling I've been doing) and start from zero.

Again.

I absolutely hate the fact that i have to build things from the ground up once again in my life. I don't want the big screen TV (it's only 60Hz, I need 240Hz... You know why). I don't want the sofa. Okay, I might want the king sized Ikea Malm bedroom joints with the Tempurpedic jawn because that som'bitch feels guuuuud.

I will need my personal effects and other stuff, but other than that I think I'm good. I can afford new trinkets (and even more after the Six Sigma cert), but its time to be a lil' more basic and enjoy more open space. It's time to build a home once again. The house of cards I've lived in the past couple of years is waterlogged at least. I refuse to step in a weak point in the floor and fall halfway through only to get stuck and have the cards dry with me in it.

What in the hell is he talking about?

Very, very soon I will select a new city that i will call home. It will have to be a place where culture rules and personal politics amongst my friends will be at a minimum. It will also have to have rich soil and access to an international airport. The ability to connect with Corporate America is a must have and I need some space to roam, possible on a lawn tractor if I wanna.

Snow during winter months is not an option.

I will need to be able to ride this place out until the adventure calls for more space (sandboxes and swings) or I decide to retire and can get lost in the urban shuffle. And last but certainly not least, I need to be someplace my so-called family doesn't want to travel to for any reason.

I'm still scared though.

Some of y'all scare me... With intent.

I strategige in these moments... In the middle of the night, wondering who will have my stankin' ass after all of my errs, misdeeds and miscalculations.

Starting over from zero is hard. Don't ask me why I'm doing this either. I hear re-invention is a good thing. For some. Lord I hope and pray one of those folk is me.

3 comments:

Ladynay said...

Good luck in your revamp!

Babz Rawls Ivy said...

Aren't we always reinventing ourselves? I mean that's the adventure... to become more of ourselves.

See it as a blessing that you have so little ties that root you to one place or person(s0.

Someone will have you. That's how divinity works...you ask and it shall be given.

Perhaps southern States... warm weather, friendly people, charm and good eatin'

I would suggest Connecticut...but snow is not an option ;(

the good nurse said...

spirit of fear? God does not give us that spirit....reject it and press toward the mark of the high calling...