Version 2.0

Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


Thursday, April 04, 2013

Make It Stop!!!

It's funny... I was just speaking with my friend Whitney this morning about finding an assisted-suicide doctor as to eliminate myself from the suffering.

No, I'm not emtionally in dispair, I just know that I am not as strong as Roger Ebert was. He publicly and somewhat cheerfully blogged about his illness and subsequent surgeries and treatment and still had a zest for life.


If his cancer battle is anything like my battle to live a somewhat 'normal' life with blindness and organ failure, then I admire his strength in suffering through it. I know that his wife Chaz was right there every step of the way and maybe that;s the key. This is something I do not have.

Doing this without either a safety net or a support system is suffering in itself.

No one should be made to suffer.

Absolutely no one should be made to suffer alone. At least with a tormentor, one has something to bounce pain, happiness (as twisted as it sounds) and emotion off of. I think about peaceful ways to go every day but just don't have the strength to make it happen by myself without it being very violent and making a mess.

The one friend I do have won't help me and Kervorkian is dead.

Well, I haven't checked Craigslist yet.

1 comment:

NeenaLove said...

**heavy sigh**

i have no words of encouragement. i don't want to negate your experience by telling you there's a brighter day tomorrow cuz i don't really know if there is. i couldn't bestow sunshine upon you anymore than you're willing to see it.

i have a -virtual hug- for you to say that i wish you didn't have to experience loneliness. your brighter day is entirely up to you.

hugs and sunshine kisses...