Where Did Our Balls Go?

There. I put it here.

I wasn't going to comment much on this, in my mind I saw Serena doing what a lot of women in sports and entertainment do and while I do have an opinion on that I figured it's what 'they' do for whatever reason. Empowerment, influence, resume purposes, proof of sexiness/marketability, whatever. She's grown and she can do whatever she chooses, right?

I guess not.

It seems that African-American women cannot do what they please without asking certain caucasian folk for the proper permissions. People that look like me haven't carried freedom papers for a couple hundred years.

I thought I should mention that.

So I roam across the internet and see shit like "Serena Goes Ape" and "She's A Man, Baby" as article headlines. I guess the racist and insulting headers are supposed to be a message to the rest of folks that look like us. Now hey, I ain't one to get all up in yours about your opinion, but how many times must I keep reading about how fat or too muscular Serena is. She is an athlete and a pretty good one at that. She had conditioning issues like many athlete regardless of color but it seems that a lot of folk in white America and beyond resent folks like her, sister Venus and cats like Barry Bonds. It ain't the body type or the willingness to speak to the press, it's the fact that someone outside of your comfort level as far as race is concerned is dominating and it burns your ass.

When certain folks get the chance you know we'll hear about it... Right?

I know my sports history like many other sports buffs and I respect all of those that have come from wherever to set the bar and create standards that take decades sometimes to touch, but even I know that all records are meant to be broken. One day someone will come along with a skill level that will surpass all others. Same goes for science, entertainment and humanities or whatever. I believe the Creator doesn't discriminate about giving certain skills to random folks.

I recognize that and was taught to respect that and those that set the standards and those that come along and raise the bar. That obviously isn't taught on the other side of the tracks. I am also offended to the highest degree that I must overlook race and background when I recognize things like that. The double standard has never been tolerable over here in these parts.

Barry Bonds was hitting homers waaay before his hat size grew exponentially. More than 400 before he 'grew' at that. Never in my life have I heard the term 'cheater' used like this. There have been reports based on science that clearly state that performance enhancing drugs have no real bearing on the hand/eye skills necessary to hit a pitch from 60 feet coming damn near 100 miles per hour with a thin stick. What steroids does is cause regeneration, which could explain how Barry is 43 and still at the top of his game, but up until 2004 steroids were perfectly legal in major league baseball, and since his indictment in 2003, Bonds has tested clean in random surprise testing. I never saw anyone, including the commissioner of baseball (who points at Bonds as the reason people hate baseball) mentioning anything about steroids when all them homers were being hit a few years ago. Bonds has been tested vigorously since the federal indictment and dude is still the same size and has the same skill. I'm not saying he never took em', but...

Find another reason to hate this dude. You can't punish someone for something they did back in the day, especially when it was both allowed and ignored.

Whether you like Serena's style or look is up to you. From the look of that picture up there I do not see a fat, out of shape woman. I also see a champion. Some may like a woman with more musculature... It's up to you family. The thing I'm seeing is that racism is becoming much more blatant today than in latter years. Hateration based on race is more elevated than ever in 2007, and as a black man am I supposed to just look the other way when very commercialized companies, media outlets and their related com padres use derogatory and defaming narratives to describe a few of my people and still give my dollar? My time? My accolades?

Hell to the mutherfucking naw.

I'm more offended about how America is taking the Micheal Vick case in more than ever. When he was running around trying to avoid 300 pound lineman he was described as "the greatest show on turf". Now that he has been accused of harboring criminals by owning property, providing finances to said criminals and possibly attending dogfights and assisting in the termination of fighting canines it seems that certain folks are 'despised'. I got a chance to flip channels and see Nancy Grace, Anderson Cooper and folks of the like and the callers from the heartland of America really told us what they thought.

But Lindsey Lohan get a pass because of tremendous pressure. Oh, and that Baldwin cat still gets work after 9 rehab stints... Riiiight. Back in 1994 a drunk driver killed my friend but it's cool for starlets to drive under the influence... She was the shit in The Parent Trap!

Shiiiiiit.

The term 'monkey' to name one as wall as 'ape' and other wonder narratives were used in columns, blogs, responses and phone calls to TV shows to describe ol' Ron Mexico. What ever happened to innocent til proven guilty? Now even I know that a federal indictment is a hard one to shake (especially with a 95% conviction rate), but how does Michael Vick become public enemy number one banned from work when he's only been accused?

How much longer must I flip past the CNNs of the world and see the featured missing white woman of the week and hear absolutely nothing about my sisters? Has our value diminished that much to society in 2007 that we don't get equal play?

Why is it when a brown skinned person hits the headlines that person becomes a pariah? Will we ever hear anything about Tim Donaghy and how much of a cheating, lying bastard he is? Why is he getting a pass in the press? He did ref that pivotal game 3 in the West playoffs this year...

Did Scooter Libby just walk free?

Why are we just letting this double standard go on?
What ever happened to our standards?
Where are the balls in the African America community?

My people have been neutered and then pacified with cheap jewelry, alcohol and fake soothsayers that stole our drum. As much as I hate that we are still targeted I am still amazed that we are so silent and just go with the status quo.

I'm starting to believe what some of them say about us, being lazy and all. Sad thing is not many will agree in public with these words. I'm 3 weeks from calling the movement dead.


Prove me wrong.

To The White Meat

I'm am not hating on TV.

But I am hating on that new poli-sci talk show spin shit that has seemed to take over basic cable. You see, when I'm not working on my pimp hand, smacking digital farts and blips all over Southwest Houston hustling for that paper so I can buy a few shorties some dranks during happy hour at the trap in the middle of the week or practicing my krumping, I gets my chill on trying to find out who's tryna shut down the streets and cancel out my club banga joints via divestment by scoping out a little MSNBC and Fox News Channel. Friends close, enemies closer, right?

I mean, what's a thuggalectual to do?

So after watching some of that boolshit, noticing that my phone didn't ring from these cable newsjoint hustlas offering me a little pimping as a talking head, in the spirit of straight hateration because game supposedly recognizes game I decided to hand out some virtual bitch slaps of my own to a couple of cats that straight wasted my time. I probably missed out on some foreign tourists bankrolling a hotel party on a bootleg handbag hustle or something. You know how them ghetto bourgeois negroes love to keep the tag on fake shit just to show the next African that they were able to buy some shit.

My first ever DigiBitchSlap goes out to Bernard McGuirk, who finally decided to come out of his stank-ass cubby hole to accuse the Rev Al Sharpton for 'helping' him lose his job.

McGuirk called Sharpton a "crude ... opportunist, a race-baiter" who campaigned against Imus to help his own career and raise his profile. While McGuirk acknowledged that "these words did hurt these girls," he added, "until you, Reverend Al, got involved, they probably never would have heard of it. They would have probably never, quote unquote, got scarred for life until you got involved for your own self-serving interests."

You opportunist grill wanting, platinum blood diamond iced chain company investing, jewelery wearing wannabe, fried-chicken-and-biscuit recipe coveting, monkey, ape, baboon name calling for lack of better verbiage, wishing you had big thighs for fast-running and three hundred sixty degree basketball dunking tan getting ass bastard bitch of a man. You make it hard for regular folk to take caucasian cats in those type of power roles seriously. You have a rich culture, a decent education and make work and take pleasure in making others that aren't in your demographic look to be less than where you claim to be with all of your former bandwidth and radio airtime, influencing your fans with racist bullshit and repelling the ears of my people for the past few decades. You had the perfect platform and got that ass fired over 22 minutes of a over glorified nigger joke and have the mitigated gall to blame your understanding of what to say over compensated airwaves on Hip Hop culture and your unassumed responsibility on Al friggin' Sharpton.

I heard the shit y'all smeared the day Ed Bradley died. So did a lot of us. Some of us, Charles S. Dutton included have our ears to the streets. Your ass is being tracked. Your next job will be working to balance that bigoted ass on more eggshells than a hen house on a million acre farm.

Smart fucker you are. I'm glad you don't practice law, there'd be a lot of inmates yearning for you to commit a crime and get caught so you can drop the soap. You're lucky this shit didn't go down in the gulliest of the gully. I hope to see you in these streets one day so I can nose up to your punk ass and tell you that you can't match me cause my style is impetuous, my defense is impregnable and shit, I'm just ferocious, I want your heart, I wanna eat your children! Straight Tyson shit.

And then, I'll bitch slap your greasy crank ass to hell. In front of your kids. Who's the 'ho' now?

Unemployed fucker.





My second fingertip crack to the tip of the lip is to the Rev. Al Sharpton himself. I am appreciative to you for all that you have done for the struggle, but at times I wanna get all Alonzo on that ultra permed ass and call you a disloyal, fool-ass, bitch made neegra for giving into some race-baiting, made for television bullshit. You even argued the fact that there was money to be made in a forum like that when H&C urged you to shut the fuck up so they can go to commercial and begin the next segment as 'round 3'. Why in the fuck did you even show up to that shit? All money ain't good money your holiness.

Dammit Rev, what would James Brown do?

Probably prevent you from getting over to the Fox studios by busting your head to the white meat with the heel of his Stacy Adams sliders. I know I would. Take this open-hand bitch slap to the mouth like a man, reload and get that ass back on the front lines and get to some real shit like we need you to be on. Fuck this TV shit and use that law degree and your income potential to get some test scores up by putting competent teachers that give a damn and a few extra computers in classrooms. Plus, I know a couple of my nephews and nieces out there on straggler patrol that need book money for next semester. Purchase some stock in a few media companies like you said you would do and get back to that late sixties shit and influence a few cats to make a record where my sisters ain't gotta pop, lock and drop it to get brother's attention.

Luckily my pimp hand is mighty strong mon, my shits would be hurting with all of these repeated slaps and thangs. Making me mess up my manicure, but no ting. Me lick a shot for dem who fear the real speak with no remorse.

Nuff said