Version 2.0

Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


Thursday, February 23, 2006


I haven't heard from my handler (she's my agent, but I feel like she controls the horizontal and the vertical) in over a week. I get a call at work and I'm flabbergasted. I have less than a month to put together a promo kit that will be duplicated and sent out. I thought I had time to do this, but I guess she knows what she's doing. I do pay this woman to look out for my best interests and help put me on the map. I needed a manager/publicist to help me keep my shit together. I was told that I had at least 3 or so months to put together my concepts, musical arrangements and organized thoughts (on paper) so if someone came a knockin I would have 'a package' to offer. She told me wrong. The weather is warmer, travel prices are right and certain venues are ready to have me. One thing. I haven't had the chance to finalize thought, arrange musical pieces to my liking and get my album/lit concepts together.

Something happened.
something always happens.

January: I got dumped and wallowed in my own shit a little too long. I involved myself with some unsavory characters, lied about how I got my money (dealing with the unsavory characters - not illegal, but might as well been) and a friend got shot in the process of picking up "our" money. I lost touch with the woman I was dating, lost my road dog and ended up starting 2006 off on the wrong foot. Alone. I did make good with my guy, but once again I was alone (relationshipwise) and felt like my main source of inspiration (her) was gone. I was wrong. January was supposed to be January, and when your library book is due, you go to either go and re-check an old favorite or replace the old with the new.

I actually did both.

February: A close-personal got burned out of their home and I opened mine. I've had a hard time writing and collecting thought since then. Mentally, it has been tough, I have somewhat taken on a few burdens that January or my entire past for that matter didn't give me. I spend a lot of time working and traveling which totally jacks up my creative process, but the hunger is still there. I scheduled preproduction sessions to lay down constructs in order to get the material laid and eventually recorded. I have some stuff I did in Florida and some stuff I did at home and I hope it gels with the new stuff we're laying down. I also hired a friend who has worked as a publicist and we plotted a guerilla marketing strategy to get my product out to the public. I haven't had a chance to really get down to brass tax because I'm dealing with other situations. I was asked if it would be best for me to relocate, I thought it would , I didn't want to run into the woman I was dating, my family or those unsavory characters, so I started applying for straight jobs abroad to support me as I manage the change from average working stiff to somewhat full time artist. I'm ready to get at it so hard right now.

I am so ready to travel right now. I worked torwards this point where I could shed corporate America and branch out and live off of my own talents. I pray and meditate so I can manifest a beautiful and brilliant March, fellowshipping with new bandmates, smoothing out my travel plans and working with a woman that I have the utmost respect for in a musical capacity (other capacities too). We shared so much in the past, but we've never worked together composing. I haven't even approached her as of yet. It was suggested that we create and then bring her unfinished works and let her critique so that's what I wanna do. I hope that the past can indeed be the past and I get that opportunity to witness and partake in the genius that is her talent. We'll see. I know that Al can compose and direct, I pray that The Creator touches his mind, ears and hands to produce and engineer great writing, preproduction and post prod sessions.

After what I expect to be grueling studio sessions, mental anguish over assembling my press kits and travel related to promo'ing myself and product, a vacation will be in order. Depending on whether or not I have a travel mate (that's up to her), Ghana is the destination for late summer/early fall this year. There has been talk about it recently, and I finally got my money situation straightened out, even though it netted me one lost friend and me being dateless... What the hell, not my loss, right? Here's to hoping March actually pans out to being a good month and I hope I can get some stuff done. I'm still scared of getting rejected on the road. But I'm going anyway.


Didi Roby said...

Put it all on the line papi! Go for it all...with confidence that will shake her foundation...:)

And have fun:)

Gallis said...

What kind of music do you do?

I think you have to go for it. I mean, you know the outcome if you don't, so why not?

Remember, it's all flow.

When the going gets tough just think, BALOOP! BALOOP!

Anonymous said...

GO FOR the gusto...I would say more but Im picking a scab off my arm...lmao

you know im just playin but I had to get u back hassan

Rose said...

I hope your friend is better. Things will pick uop for you by March.

Brotha Buck said...

Best of wishes, man! I know what its like waiting on that call.

The Brown Blogger said...

Dee Dee: Thanks, it's been a long time coming and a hard road as well. So many things related to other aspects of my life has delayed various projects but I've amassed a great deal of material, and now seems to be a great time to release...

Zesty Zest: I am a recovering rapper/lyricist that has morphed into something like a spoken word poet. I do "whatever" over soulful grooves. I was a member of a rap group called the Underground Movement in the late 80s-Mid 90s and fortunately (yes, I said it) we never reached full potential. Being in a group, writing and recording - learning to deal and work with other people more or less talented than you but just as hungry changed my way of life and thinking, learning about the industry (why we couldn't get a deal, we knew we would get raped, so no one touched us). I've had a few experiences with (near)death and disease (cancer scare, diabetes morbid obesity and the loss of body parts and pieces of organs)and it changed the way I have to live, so I decided to slow things down and speak a lil more clearer over the beat in a method that's more syncopated and story tellish, but poetic all the same. I guess it's working due to the nice reception and love I get when I spit at slams and poetry sets around the way. It's now time to take the rhymes from the past and poems of the now and fuse them together with live instrumentation, a dope ass DJ and a little backround singing/chanting/speaking and some soulful inspiration and layer them in a way that channels the spirit of all things good that settles the soul as well as edifying in a way that is nothing short of deep us. Africa, slavery, post civi war struggle, segregation, the black power movement, Reganomics, the crack era and now the digital divide/struggle affects and touches us to the point that we need to cry, shout, worship, love, fight and fuss about it. That comes out in my music because all of that touches me and I can't keep quiet about it. I think you'll like the finished product.

Yaz: 4 words:

Finger up the butt.

Rose: It has to... I will only accept good things and positivity in the coming months. I refuse to go thru unecessary anguish again. I grow and learn from all of my mistakes and missteps. And The Creator hasn't steered me wrong yet. He just has adventures for me to experience. Without that, what else would I have to write about?

Buck: It's hell... And deadlines? I am so new to this. I hope I haven't painted myself into a corner. Just getting used to a certain pace of things. But, I'm learning that it comes with the territory.

Anonymous said...

forget u boy lmao