Although I am thoroughly disappointed by your inaction and decision to shut out the whole world other than those that read your blog and I choose not to waste my time extending my hand in friendship to you at this point because of that, I will still honor your tag.
I tire of people that wallow in self pity and then drain the ones that love them by ignoring them to wallow alone. I don't give a flying fuck what your situation is... I am a friend and I will bend over backwards to the point of taking a life to keep your friendship, but the last thing you will do is fucking ignore me, especially when I attempt to go above and beyond to help smooth that shit out.
I only do that because I love you.
You and Troy have pushed me to my godforsaken limit. Troy's mom passed 6 months ago and I know that he couldn't close the book on that until right now. He left for Cali Saturday to do what he has to to make things right with his mother's estate and with his family. I'm sure after the hell my best friend put me through by acting an utter and complete ass, disrepecting me and mine to my face for the past half year and I took the stance not to bitch slap his ass in front of company that when he comes back, he'll be a different, hopefully better man for closing this horrible chapter in his life and move forward and have me as a friend again. If not he and you both have a place in my heart, but not in my intenary.
Not any more.
I wish you could be like Troy right now. I wish there was someplace you can go and excersize those demons that torture you. I will not let them torture me because I've been tortured before, and that is just one reason I choose to move away from Chicago. I only invited you to my celebration this weekend (and you fucking know I don't celebrate my birthday!) so we could see each other, reminisce and have one last drink before I pack my shit and get the fuck in the wind. I didn't even get a simple text mail response to the phone calls, voice mails, the visit last week or IM's I've left. For that, I thank you. I know where you stand.
You have insulted me as a friend, and I am offended to the highest degree.
But I still love you.
I just know now that I must keep you at a distance. I can and will love you from a distance.
Now... ON TO THE SHIT!!!
1. Who was your first prom date? Kristine Thompson... 11 years to the day later we broke up
2. Who was your first roommate? Greg Walker, US Army - Camp Casey, Republic of Korea
3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk for the first time? Taylor Cream Sherry
4. What was your first job? Car Wash Attendant at 13
5. What was your first car? 88 Escort EXP
6. When did you go to your first real funeral? My Uncle James, maybe back in 74'
7. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown? 18
8. Who was your first grade teacher? Sister Mary Ann, I was a Catholic school kid.
9. Where did you go on your first airplane ride? Flew to Newark, NJ for Army Basic training
10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with? Never had to sneak out
11. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them? Elton Johnson... we still talk, but don't hang out as much
12. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parent's house? Ft Dix, NJ Barracks with about 99 other young, clueless cats
13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? No one. I don't have bad days... I solve problems
14. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen? My man Richard back in 98, WAIT!!! It was Al and Kim's wedding, I was in the wedding party
15. What is the first thing you do in the morning? Meditate, after giving thanks.
16. What was the first concert you attended? Fresh Fest 1983 - Run DMC, Kurtis Blow, Fat Boys, UTFO, Ice T NCY Breakers, Whodini
17. First tattoo or piercing? Right Earlobe, 1984
18. First celebrity crush? Never had one
19. First crush? Nicole Michelle Higgins ol' fine, thick ass from the 6th grade... I gotta look her up
20. First love? Kristine, my prom date
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
InsanelySane tagged me...
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9 comments:
HASSAN: HOPEFULLY THINGS WILL BLOW OVER BETWEEN YOU TWO (INSANELYSANE) AND TROY. KNOW THAT SHE MAY NOT KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH IT. I'M GLAD THAT YOU GOT THAT OUT AND SHE'LL COME AROUND SOON AND YOU GUYS WILL COME TO AN MEDIAN.
I can safely say that I am hurt.
I will no longer tolerate bullshit attitudes from those that are so damn close. It digs so deep that I can't function.
I will no longer make those emotional investments, damn that.
Well that was quite a post. Hope it gets sorted out. In the meantime, good luck in your travels.
I thought initially that I was reading a commentary or something. That was so real. But sometimes you got to release that stuff or it will only bug you later. Hopefully you guys will work out whatever is wrong.
damn, hassan. i knew you were upset, but damn.
To Hassan,
I am sorry that you have to go through this and I know you feel her inner pain. Sometimes distance is a good thing it can cause the person to long for your return. I hope insanelySane reunites the good friendship that you and her had. Because the door is still open if she wants to return and thank you for keeping the door of friendship return open to her Hassan. This shows a high level of maturity on your part.
By Chance,
Sometimes when a person is going thru, the only thing that you can do, that they will allow you to do is to stand on the outside of their stuff and hold the rope that can pull them out. They will only come when they are ready, and you cannot force it. It is painful though, you are reaching out, trying to talk to, lift up etc. I know, I have been on both sides of the fence. Loving from a distance is not ideal, but is sometimes all too neccessary. It will clear up, and until it does, take care of you.
Kita
i agree with kita on this. all you can do is be ready when she emerges. she's going through her own process and it's not something to be placed on your timetable. she'll snap out of it when she's ready. hopefully you'll be ready, too.
If anyone should be mad it should be me...do you know the shit I've been going through...but no...no one cares...I don't get a post on the blog about me...j/k
You two cut it out. Now!
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