Version 2.0

Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


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Sunday, October 15, 2006

whatever, man...

Every now and then you question a few things...

You wonder how when all is right and well in your world how you could be left alone with the burden of the repercussions of the mental and emotional stresses that got you to that point.
You wonder if you've sacrificed enough. You wonder if you were really forgiven for your sins. Was all of that repentance and pennace really worth it?

You wonder if that thing you did ten years ago actually affected anything or anyone. You know that it actually affected you, but you're afraid to speak past discretions into existence.

It'll truly fuck things up for you, huh?

You wonder if going to church on Sunday or temple on Saturday, even jummah on Friday is a waste of your time. Someone made that shit up and you bought in, right?

Right?

You know that every person that actually stood for something died for nothing. Even the ones you despise. Not everybody Liked brother Malcolm or Karl Marx for that matter. You wonder if you should just take a step back off the front lines and just disappear into the darkness and not be either seen or heard. It's easier to live that way.

You know, wake up, go to work, get lunch, come home, have dinner, watch TV, go to bed. If you have a family, you squeeze the spouse and kids somewhere in there, like dropping folks off at school. Maybe you car pool. Check homework, stuff like that.

Wash, rinse and repeat.

Is it worth actually standing for something?

How in the hell are the folks in charge that fucking irresponsible? Who appointed/elected them? Oh that's right, we did. So why haven't we done anything? Why them and not Jon Stewart or Chris Rock? It's funny how cab drivers, late night talk show hosts and barbers/hair stylists have all the answers but never run for public office.

Can you open your mind to the fact that your ancestors had a different belief system? So why do you believe what you believe? Oh, that's right, mom and dad told you so.

Can you really make a difference?

Is (insert deity name here) actually listening to you? Does he exist in all of your suffrage? Do you really believe that?

If we're being watched by folk on other planets, you know they're laughing.

Hard.

How long has it been since you made you happy? Is it possible? Why don't you do more things for yourself? Is people pleasing that high on your priority list? Yep, probably is. You're already Christmas shopping right now aren't you? And you never get good shit from other people as hard as you search for the right shit for them.

Thanksgiving... Will it be fucked up again this year? You already know that answer.

Stop eating that shit, you already know what it does to the ass on top of your ass, right?

Fuck will power.

When are you going to reach out and talk to him/her? Oh, I know, you want to say whatever it is standing over thier casket. Better yet, you'll be in the coma or on your deathbed without the energy to speak and they'll be right there. And you can't say shit. Fucked up way to die, huh?

I realize I cuss a lot. Must be the army in me. I didn't used to cuss like this. They're just words, right? Narrative discriptives that I like to use. What scripture is that that goes on about words having the power of life and death? I write like I speak, but in person I don't cuss a lot - like when I perform. Poetry, that is.

According to Sam Cooke, change gon' come. It just has to resonate inside of you. You have to get that pissed and know that time is really running out for you to actually get up off that ass and do something.

Anything.

Look at your watch... You ain't got much of that shit left, so do something.

I double dog dare you.

12 comments:

Kip said...

Hey Hassan,


Good post that took me thru a variety of your versitility in worldy obsevrations of various episodes of daily human living. We all have opinions and beliefs the difference between the is Opinions require no support and Beliefs do we all have these two maning opinions and beliefs, we follow one acording to the moment in one momemnt it is better to follow a bilief in another an opinion. Yes we have to keep on moving in Life what is the goal of the goal is to find your purpose and meaning in life it could be to become a Doctor, teacher, religious minister, lecturer, entertainment, etc you can have a purpose in life but no meaning example go to a good paying job, but you don't like it. Your good paying job is your purpose but it has no meaning to you. So the key in life is to find a purpose and meaning some people.


Take care, Hassan

deepnthought said...

I found this post very interesting to say the least, Partly because honestly, I have found myself pondering the same questions. For me rught now, for me it falls under the question What do you believe your destiny is? Thankyou for this post. One must think what is important to them and rely on faith.

The Brown Blogger said...

I realized that in family, friends and stuff you can purchase to make you feel that much better about how effed up you life probably is or can be...

All I have is faith.

Everything else is gravy on my mashed potatoes.

Mmmmmmm... Gravy.

Ms_SoCal said...

Thank you ...

aquababie said...

thanks for your honesty. you said a few things that hit me in the chest. i've been debating the shit and my choices in my life. the situation i've been going through with my current ex has been trying my heart, mind and my soul. i'm choosing to go another direction and as much as i hate hurting him, i simply wasn't happy anymore. i can't take that journey with him anymore. i have to start back living for me...regardless of the outcome.

Rose said...

You are right as usual. We need to do everything we want to do. The time is now not later. We don't know what the world is coming to particularly with all the problems everywhere. Thanks again. You always remind us that we need to look at what is happening, do something and look at ourselves.

Anonymous said...

This post hit home. It definitely reflects how I am feeling right now.

The Brown Blogger said...

No fronting, I never thought that anyone would mosey on by on a Sunday, even though I made my thoughts public.

There is no inner struggle inside of me right now, just me wondering aloud. I know that one day, all of this will be my glorious past so I decided to put thought in cyberspace.

I don't know if I'll be Hassan 5 years from now.

I wasn't Hassan 5 years ago.

I want to know who I am and definately who I was as I evolve into the man God intends me to be.

So I blog.

Sometimes I think it'll be in vain... Until I hear from y'all.

I know that I'm not alone in this, even though sometimes it feels that way.

Thank you for stopping by.

Anonymous said...

I know I'm a day late & a dollar short but I'm diggin the story. The milk carton was reeealy funny. Brotha has been/is on the grind trying to make dat paper. I remember going thru a phase when I did alot of pondering. But now I'm living by a different mantra...for the past year, it's been the old Gandhi quote, "Be the change you wish to see in the world". Now, it's simply, "Show and Prove". That is the approach I'm taking now to handle my business...being that the "wait and see" method doesn't work. Just hafta work on my planning & scheduling. I'm all about doing...especially trying to balance out this thing we call hip hop...even tho I'm sellin my records!!!

princessdominique said...

I feel like I'm late to the party. Great thoughts from a creative mind.

Gallis said...

You're not alone.

"Double dog dare." Nice.

T. S. Snowden said...

And That is indeed whassup! This post was so on point it is fucking horrifying....
Your blog is really fascinating Hassan