Version 2.0

Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


.
.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

How I Got Over You

I laughed aloud.

It took more time that I wanted to admit
But my hurdle was accomplished in humor.

We were more than common,
my drive matched your determination
you opened me with your words
I made time to communicate
I gained a new hustle in effort to get next to you
Never had so much thought been conjured up in my mind

By way of a train ride.
In my moment of support, I held back my other hand
Never to deceive...

But in my presentation I had to remain clandestine
I hid my means from you

But in order to see you and still be knee deep in my thing
I hustled opposite in the manner that I spoke up my life
Nah, no one died or got hooked from my dealings,
I gentrified to pay my tithes.
My actions caused some to be uprooted but...

It fueled my desire and made me make time

Just to be close to you... Girl.
For a moment, baby
For a moment, baby

And in that time I dug deeply
You illuminated the dark tunnels
Nonsense became common knowledge
I felt lighter because you lifted me but I should have known

You never made any real effort to pick me up.
And I was too busy keeping my right hand from your sight
Funding the left... To really see
That your light never really illuminated me
I was just that push you'll need

I pushed you.

And you never got chance to know me
You sat yourself across from me
My name became transparency
That night, checked texts, frigidity
With all that light, I could not see

You gained pleasure in ignoring me.


So I think back to those last moments in the flesh
And how things didn't happen
With all that was left unsaid
How things crumbled in my eyes but worked as your perfect plan
And how I suffered

Then I realized that as I hid my hand
Only to hide from you my method of finance you showed me both of yours
And with each palm

Emptiness.

The perfect comedy to my hapless tragedy

This wasn't the first time I doubled down when the dealer drew 21.
I hadn't played my last card, in fact...
I was at the beginning of my deck.

So I kept playing.

Had both of my hands on the table for some time now.
I never had to fool the dealer.

How did I get over you?
I realized that I was dealt in a very long time ago.
Fear of losing will prevent you to play your real hand
I lost.
But as I kept playing, I've won way more than I have lost.
Even when the game has dealt me queens.
Your comedy to my tragedy.

I just chuckle...

Cathartic, I guess.


Written on the fly in the moment - 2009 Hassan Olumoroti Ntimbanjayo - Sho Nuff' ~ Ya' Dig?

5 comments:

Bananas said...

Man, talk about knowing the feeling...I have to admit, this was kinda hard to read. But the again, anything that you can completely relate too often is.

Well written my friend.

LadyLee said...

Oh, that was good stuff right there, Man. Good stuff.

Big Mark 243 said...

I agree with Terry. I was wondering if I could have permission to use this, with full credit going to you, of course.

ThinkingPrincess said...

Love this!

Diva (in Demand) said...

I like this for the fact that it comes across as so romantic....yet it's not.