Version 2.0

Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


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Friday, August 06, 2010

Expectations

You know what's funny? When you become the sheer hindarance to your own progression.




I am fine. I am enjoying myself and life as well. Don't let that last post motivate you to be concerned over lil old me OR start finger wagging. I have yet to have regret about any decision I've made.



Another thing... I have always told you the truth. Now I may not have always told you the indepth story bout thangs, but I have yet to lie to you, the dear reader.



So when my wife just blurted out that I 'told the world that I was an alcoholic' I had to correct her. First, I've covered my love affair with liquor many times here on this forum. So to quote myself, I specified that I was STILL an alcoholic.



Still.



That's not a lie.
I'm not judging. I also don't see the concern from the recent or distant past form anyone as well. Either you're with me or against me here, I don't plan on judging folks or giving the side eye on what they do. I expect the same treatment.



Expectations are bullshit though.



For the first time in my life I am having fun because I have finally learned not to expect anything from any one.



I can only believe in me.



Especially when people tell you that they 'just took life off for a while'.



And you just expect me to sit and take the weight?



Nope.



I am going to enjoy myself with no regard like I'm doing right about now.



Talk about crashing and burning.

2 comments:

Big Mark 243 said...

Well, vainglorious!

I struggle for words not because I want to admonish in the name of advice but because I think that I feel you.

I have days (that seem like they go 'on end' but last two or three... now) where stuff makes me want to not just stop with my cart but to push it over the highest spot available, be it a cliff or a freeway overpass and let it all go.

Still, I can't imagine going through what you hint at here. What I do know is that even though I don't drink, I am good to go fetch you one, if you aren't too lit. Couldn't do if you were but I have been around friends as they do their thing, be it with 'scripts, alcohol or street pharmacueticals.

If anything, I do wish I was actually around and maybe a part of your world, if for nothing else to make sure there was one cat that you could call for whatever ...

...sorry for ramblin'. In a ramblin' mood.

Bananas said...

Any landing you can walk away from...