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Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


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Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Where In The World Is Hassan San Diego?

What the hell have I been doing?

Recovering, thank you for asking.

I guess I gotta fill you in, huh? Wrote a blogpost about it, like to hear it, here it go:

On Jan 8 I fell on my head. I didn't fall and hit my head, I actually fell on my head causing me to have a subdural hematoma and brain swelling. I was affected to the point of motor skill failure and vision loss. I still can't properly see. Breaking blood vessels in the back of my eyes isn't how I wanted to address my vision problem while going through the motions of having diabetic retinopathy. Such as life.

So I shed myself of Chicago and relocated to slow-moving, boring-ass Oklahoma. I wanted to rehab at the Muskogee, OK VA Hospital because traffic (in all aspects) is slower. Contrary to what a friend or two accuse me of, I am here in Oklahoma to recover from my injuries and rehab quietly. That I have done. I am not quite to the point where my medical staff will rubber stamp me MMI (maximum medical improvement), but I am very damn close. That means that I have already packed my bags and am in transition to be in transition. Again.

Now I couldn't live off of worker's comp because I depleted my savings in coming here and setting up shop, so fortunately, I fell into a job as a fleet manager for a large trucking company. Things were comfy and they accommodated my disabilities by having me work extended operations overnight (less traffic but busy all the same) until a capital management firm bought the company two months ago. I never planned on making a career there but I did see writings on the wall. Before I could jump ship, they provided me with a life boat.

I now sit in Tulsa with partially packed suitcases a mere visit away from a closed head injury specialist and a team of eye surgeons who can green light me to leave and go on with my life. It has been an odd eight months. I've counted the days... Had to. I injured myself in the same moments on the same day that Rep Gabby Giffords (D-AZ), her staff and a few constituents were shot. I remember coming out of ICU seeing the coverage hazily on TV. I've been rooting for her and the others ever since.

Your problems are nothing compared to someone elses'. Don't forget that.

I know this, so I worked my way through things to this point. I still need a lot of work done to make things right with my body, some of that will never get done, so I have to find new ways to work with what I have right now. The one thing I battle with the most is balance and living with limitations in my eyesight. I've lost 27% of my eyesight and I have adopted a few new tools to help me get around and do my thing. I am not legally blind. Yet. I am hoping that there are things that I can stick to holistically in the time that The Creator gives me on this plane that will help me stay above the sighted Mendoza Line.

It took a while for me to get here (the blog). All I want to do now is get back to as much regular as humanly possible because I still have a voice. I cannot remain quiet in these times where it seems that our youngest and brightest remain silent due to dumbfoundedness, our elders have been lavishly muted by corporate interests and the agents spout off lies and inaccuracies in the name of the forsaken just to keep the meek from inheriting the earth.

God gave me a big head because he knew by the time they got to me, there would be no life preservers left to hand out...

And so I float.

Someone special continuously tells me: Head up, heart open.

I have no choice.




Keepin' your head above water, 
               Making a wave when you can. 


Temporary lay offs. 
Good Times. 
Easy credit rip offs. 
Good Times. 
Scratchin' and surviving. 
Good Times. 
Hangin in a chow line Good Times. 
Ain't we lucky we got 'em 
Good Times.




Today, my condition. Tomorrow, pre-speech coverage and what folk want to hear.


9 comments:

Ladynay said...

You are amazing Hassan! God speed on your recovery back to or close to your baseline!

I am rooting for you over this way!

*hugs*

The Brown Blogger said...

Wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute... I'm just some dude.

Thanks for the well wishes and hugs Ladynay, I really appretiate that. I'm just doing what anyone else would do in the same situation: Heal up, get better and/or adjust to thangs and then go back to fussing and complaining about ish.

Like nothing was ever wrong.

Whitney Barber said...

It's good to know you have been receiving good care and that you are recovering well. Where ever your whim should carry you it's my hope that your God plays escort. Be well and be safe.

The Brown Blogger said...

Thanks Whit. Funny you mention that, I got a good lead from a friend on an research anaylist position with the Umbrella Corporation in Racoon City...

Big Mark 243 said...

You are not just 'some dude', dude. Don't forget that... but it is also not a badge to be worn (at least I don't think).

I had been wonderin' cause I have seen you out on the interents but since I ebb and flow ('cept at my journal) I figure others are the same. Of course, I HAD NO IDEA. Don't want to 'welcome you to the club' but hey...

Yes, yes I am in Omaha and getting on by the skin of my teeth. No one who goes west to east goes through Omaha so I won't ask you to stop by and let me take you to dinner...

Do your thing... you are so right about troubles... some people have theirs and I know that I have mine... take care..!

Love & Rockets!
Mark

p.s. - might be 'grow folks bidness', but what has the Missus been up to during your rehab..?

Anonymous said...

Hey! Hello!

the good nurse said...

wow. honored. really, i am.

ronald page said...

You're dead on about keeping problems in perspective. As the protagonist said in John Ridley's superb novel The Drift: "No matter how bad life seems, there's always room for it to get a lot worse."

chrome offline said...

I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want.Thankyou i really love it