I'm Here! Now What Do I do?

I knew I was supposed to be here in some capacity.

I thought my father needed me, he may not to the extent I would like to think so but others will somehow.

Today I lost my aunt.

I used to spend many o' summer at her home in Indiana. She lost her husband, my uncle Henry a few years back and she hasn't been the same since. Sometime earlier this year her health deteriorated and she just couldn't hold on. She died in her home quietly around her children and a few of the church family.

I am pleased that she went out like that. I hope to die like that when it's my time.

I am in Chicago as a guest of the new company I work for, staying at a hotel near the second, smaller airport. I made way after processing benefit paperwork and such to hook up with my brother and made my way out to the house.

My mother was there.

We talked. It wasn't normal but we shared a conversation and functioned like human beings. If you don't know, I haven't spoken to my mother since this time last year.

And you wonder why The Creator puts you in certain places, huh?

Some folks think too much about where they're supposed to be or if someone or somethings by someone should be done or not done but I say just go where you think you're called and maybe just maybe... You're probably supposed to be there.

Even if you don't know the reason.

If you haven't been home in a while, go home. If you haven't seen someone in a hot minute, go and see them. If you feel that you're not supposed to be someplace, get the hell out of there. Just go where your heart calls you. It may hurt someone or jeopardize some things you think are supposed to be for you.

my heart told me to be where I am right now. All I could do is take the little pennies I had and get my ass back to Chicago. I knew someone needed to at least see me, and it was my mother of all people. I love her but honestly can't stand to be where she is most of the time because she does not address me as an adult. Some things you just have to tuck away or put to the side and just extend yourself in some capacity. I knew all of my family needed me, including my mother.

It's going to be one hell of a weekend, but that's what I came here for. I called it last week, I tell ya...

I gotta spend time with my loved ones and catch up with them distant cousins. And re-establish that missing connection with my mother.

And get my dad a suckling pig... And some wood chips.