Version 2.0

Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


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Tuesday, January 25, 2005

How far are you willing to get free? Are you willing to sacrifice
the known for the unknown? Well, we'll see. Other than
becoming an iPod whore as of recent, Blackfist sacrificed all that
he knew (well, most of it) to gain his freedom.

You see, I lived a toxic life, and it began to eat at my soul. My
art is my life, and my writings and photos (which I'm still
struggling to share here for fear of embarrassment) I felt
defined me. It doesn't. What defines me is me. What my
beliefs are is irrelevant to what I become because people believe
different things and are successful. Remember success without
fulfillment is failure. But I still must have faith. Some people
exist without it, they are empty. I can't function that way.

Successful anything without fulfillment is total failure, so I
ended relationships, gave weeks notice at my current job and
gave up vices not in the hopes of getting better, but in the
actions of being who I am. I tire of musts and should'ves... I
must pay bills, I should've done this. Those excuses are
controlled by fear, so I dropped fear. I claimed a hight paying,
more fulfilling job related to me reaching my goals in exposing my
art to the masses, I work out with more regularity and changed
the way I care for my temple and I now stand alone. I do not
have me to give right now, I have me to build, and that is not
fair to me or anyone else. Nuff said.

In order to shed the toxic life, one has to detox. It's not easy to go
this route because doubt, fear and haterism from others will present
themselves as obstacles along the way. I realize this, so each morning I
take an hour not to affirm or reaffirm, but to first be thankful for all
that has happened to get me here and to plot, strategize and put that
into action RIGHT NOW. And I do it while my body is in motion and thru
prayer, incantation and recital ALOUD while working out. To unplug from
the matrix, one has to deprogram, the incantation is repeating the plan
over and over, no happy thoughts or BS like that.... phrases like: "God
has blessed me with this life, no person, obstacle or situation will stop
me from establishing by businesses thru my art and talent. I cannot fail
at life because risk without loss is natural. I learn from my triumphs and
mistakes and apply everything for the betterment and glorification of the
lord. I will treat myself and others as I want to be received. I have no
fear of anything because God has by back."

I repeat this aloud throughout my entire workout after taking 30
minutes or so immediately after waking up and stretching and reflecting
on how yesterday was so beautiful. My plans and strategies are fresh in
my head, and now after working both my mind, body and spirit nothing
can distract me from achieving my goals. Even if it is to make it to the
end of the day, I will. I walk with the Creator and no one else. What
people say or do has never mattered. I surround myself now only with
those that can reverberate what I'm willing to give, and that meant
that there were people that I loved that had to go. No offense to you,
the love is still there but it is from a distance. I will not have hindrance
from my progression thru mistrust, lack of respect or deceit, even from
loved ones. That was hard, but necessary. Believe me, the blessings pour
in, even for those I choose not to deal with any more.

And this is just Tuesday...

Imagine what Wednesday brings!

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