Bubbles

I remember the first time I realized that everybody lived in their own bubble.

The bubbles these days I figure are less transparent and thicker than they were in the past. It seems that everybody lives in some sort of opinionated bubble that controls their actions and hide their true feelings, leaving less interpretation of their true feelings and intent for us on the outside. With the way things are going these days I'm pretty sure that we'll get to a point where someone's bubble will be just that impossible to pop.

While I hope not because some need popping. Sometimes. Certain folk.

Thing is, what I realized that we can live collectively or in individual bubbles and say and do anything we want and feel, thinking that it doesn't affect other people or their situations. when encapsulated, we say (shout) things reflective of undue either influence or what has been indirectly taught right, wrong or otherwise. Influence as to who we're suppose to be, things we're supposed to like and what we need to do have been unleashed in very heavy doses. In the past couple of decades some very unreliable, unproven and outright wrong folk with resources still push us to run with their limited knowledge.

What's basically happening these days is you have certain factions of individuals from certain places that believe certain things that promote outwardly that folks live inside their bubble of ideology. There are representatives that actually come outside the bubble to make announcements, broker deals and deliver edicts down from some mountain so that folks and groups in other bubbles can hear and relate. The reactions to the views and opinions from folks in said other bubbles used to be complementary with counterthought and reason. Problem is nowadays, so many people who cocoon themselves in these collective thoughts and fears have darkened the inner walls of their bubbles meaning they can't see or refuse to see someone else's bubble or for that matter the entire world around them.

There is no transparency.

For the most part, there are individuals that exist on this planet that don't live in a bubble. They attempt to communicate, trade commerce, thoughts, ideas and passions with the rest of the world and they look forward in all things that they do. So if you're trying to live your life outside of a bubble is there really a way to be complementary to the people who choose not to see outside of their own glass houses? Do you snub them if they snub you? Are you an intercessor?

You see, I'm known to be a very hard person. I can cut you off and never deal with you again if I believe you're on some bullshit. That method actually works for me because if you into living in your own bubble and there's a lot that will be said and done that would never be able to penetrate the walls of your cocoon, and the sound of mine and other voices regurgitating new ideas, thoughts, and concepts will never bounce off the inner walls and reverberate meaning you choose not to hear us... Never being left alone with a your thought/our thought combo, knowing that one thought is not enough... Then I have to jettison your ass from my existence. Time cannot stand still for those not inspired enough to not live life and experience all that The Creator has given us. This life is too precious.

Poverty, terrorism, lack of or missed opportunities, punctuality, disease and prejudice can no longer be used as an excuse on this planet, in these days. We've already overcome, you just haven't acknowledged it.

So me not being a nice person pretty much translates into me saying and doing things that could definitely pop someone's bubble. It causes them for at least a temporary moment to live in the reality of the now because I'm one of them folks that don't get much benefit from holding my tongue. I really try my best to exist in the truth of the now and for some people that reality is just a little too damn harsh. Sucks for them. They hide under the bed when it comes crashing down on the roof of their bubble, pops it, and then their comfort level immediately reduces to the point of panic and they shy away.

WTF? Really? Now? Most of my peers are near or over 40. I thought we were grown.

We shouldn't be relegated to live such lives, but we do.

So I guess my real question is: when in the bloody hell will some of us choose to live outside of our bubbles and what happens when someone else's truth becomes or already is a part of our reality? Because of that, what do we do when the bubble pops? What type of adjustments are needed to live in the reality of now? Why will we ever think of constructing a new bubble with much darker windows and better soundproofing (with a sturdier shell) just so we can't see and hear the reality of our now?

Can our family friends and loved ones be that damn afraid? Well, the answer is yes.

And now that a lot of us have realized while we were inside of the bubble playing with ourselves, fearful of what the truth of time brings... We've missed a whole hell of a lot. Older age, missed opportunities, and lost loved ones over time teaches us that we should be more appreciative of what's going on right now and that we need to get the hell out of these bubbles and just live and take what the universe gives us.

So my first bubble popping statement to a couple of people that are very close to me that read this blog is:

Your ass is getting old. You haven't done what you said we're going to do and you promised. Your window is closing. How long do you think I'll wait? You've only rewritten the plan all those times because you're stalling - you're afraid to execute. You're so afraid of failure that you won't even try and I'm getting ready to walk away.

POP!

Damn bubbles.

.

Disappointed

Just when I thought that I would just stop doing my thing and enjoy life from the front porch...


People start to listen and respond. Years later.


I don't know if you've noticed, but I really took the personality away from this joint. I stopped getting personal with my posts with the exception of speaking about my general health and I hear all of my virtual play-cousins (I invented that) when they give me gems for optimal living. I have taken your advice and am doing all that I can to get back to regular.

Someone close to me pretty much told me to just relax because I seemed to be stressing too much, that maybe the move to Houston and my current situation versus what I want to do is possibly raising my blood pressure. Yes my pressure is somewhere in stage II hypertensionville but it ain't that. Someone stated that I am angry all the damn time, but one thing... I never get mad. I may show displeasure with things through my outwardly appearance, but it ain't that I'm angry.

It's because I am in a constant state of disappointment.

I see myself and I see the education, the talent and the options and I am disappointed that I am where I am right now. I will do more to get to where I feel I need to be, and that means being more outspoken for my family, cause y'all are all I got.

I see my peers in the Hip Hop generation and I am disappointed in how we are handling ourselves at this moment. There is no problem with Hip Hop or specifically rap music. I'm disappointed in how the entire Hip Hop nation is once again grouped into whatever is killing the nation at this moment. The overall ignorance that we are showing about a genre of music that we created disappoints me to the core. Example:

Movies: Filmed entertainment, full of stereotypes and degrading images of people, places and things. Also full of fun, comedy and heartwarming moments that we grow to love in the billions of dollars- The Fly, The Matrix, Birth Of A Nation, The Terminator, Do The Right Thing, Van Wilder, Austin Powers, Night At The Museum, Blood Diamond, Major League, Monkey Hustle, Shaft, I, Robot, Pretty Woman, Cotton Comes To Harlem, The Ten Commandments, Enter The Dragon, Apocalypse Now, Spider-Man, Earth Girls Are Easy, Love And Basketball, Alien, Close Encounters of a Third Kind, Star Wars, Brokeback Mountain, Shaft, Chocolate', Mulan Rouge, Happy Feet, Honey, I Shrunk The Kids... Did I jump around enough for you?

Television: Shorter versions of movies, same stereotypes and degrading images as well as heartwarming fun and comedy made for shorter attention spans and bundled in series (for the most part) for those that want to follow a character or set of characters in various plots and subplots. Also where sporting events and made for TV events (award shows and such) take place for the world to view- The Sopranos, General Hospital, Wide World of Sports, Grey's Anatomy, 24, Weeds, My Name Is Earl, Survivor, The King of Queens, Girlfriends, Sleeper Cell, Lost, Heroes, How I Met Your Mother, Chappelle's Show, South Park, Aqua Teenage Hunger Force, Reno 911, Flavor of Love: Charm School, The Springer Hustle, Arena Football, One Tree Hill, The Game, Law And Order, Monk, WWE Raw and Smackdown, Tuesday Night Fights, Arena Football, The Office, 30 Rock, Everybody Hates Chris, Anderson Cooper 360, The View, Friday Night Lights, The Young and the Restless and so on.

Music: Unadulterated, uncensored form of singing, instrumental isms and spoken art in which artists (or those that try to be) attempt to wax poetic on whatever they see fit. Full of stereotypes and violence as well as heartfelt ballads of love and admiration. Long and short forms of musical expression are marketed to any audience that cares to listen- grunge, speed metal, hard rock, zydeco, hardcore rap, smooth jazz, gospel, blues, jazz, gangster rap, thrash metal, guitar ballads, folk, country and western, zydeco, New Orleans jazz, chamber music, orchestra composed, madrigals, chant, Christian rap, Harlem jazz, industrial, power ballads, new wave, punk, ska, world music, soca, meringue, dance hall, roots reggae, Kentucky bluegrass, old school rap, fusion, funk, rhythm and blues, doo wop, 60's soul, St Louis blues, Chicago blues, rockabilly, new school rap, house music, dance pop, adult contemporary, 50's rock and roll, underground rap, jazz fusion, neo soul, urban contemporary, old, guitar driven rock, hair metal, spoken word, scat, top 40 pop.

I'm disappointed that folks don't know the difference but spend money like we do. Or do we and just refuse to acknowledge that there are categories of entertainment? Genres if you will. What makes rap music any different than other forms of entertainment? Are we going after the porn industry? Think not. If we really want to censor our artists (can't call em' so-called, cause' people even buy stuff from the bullshit ones - that means artist support) under the 'urban music' banner, that means both rappers and R&B artists would get the hook. And so should rock artists, grunge cats, metal dudes, jazz artists, even Christian artists.

There has to be a Muslim or Jew that just can't stand DC Talk... Right?

Hip Hop is in the mainstream right now and it faces the same scrutiny as Rock and Roll, Jazz and Rhythm And Blues (originating from gospel music) before it, so let the chips fall where it may. I as a child of, current supporter of and peer of Hip Hop refuse to be painted with a broad brush stroke and be labeled as poison when it comes to influencing our youth. Whether white kid or brown, Hip Hop culture is a multi-trillion dollar, infrastructure building positive influence on society as a whole. To let a rapper (Rap music, once again is a sub-culture of Hip Hop) or twelve's lyrical content be the basis of unwarranted finger-pointing, blame laying and the reasoning behind the downfall of America's so-called utopia and also the cause of racist rhetoric is downright insulting. And I bet you Bob Dylan's acoustic guitar that I'm not the only member of this generation ready to fight for the respect and the fair market share we in the Hip Hop community deserve.

This ain't over. It's just getting started. I'm just disappointed that my voice wasn't heard a few years ago when I was saying the same damn thing I'm saying now. Check the archives. As a matter of fact, check out this very same fight when you google up what was going on in the 80's... Or What C. Delores Tucker was doing in the 90's... Or the self check we were getting into via allhiphop.com, okayplayer.com and such have been doing in the 2000's.

I know who I am, and I'm a little disappointed in myself to let this get this far.
Some of you guys have me a little disappointed in as well.

I don't hate you, but...

But I damn sure don't love you either.

I guess I had a second post in me today.

You know what I hate? I mean what I totally hate? I hate the fact that no one can be direct with you. It's rare that people practice open and honestly with you these days. I try to exist in a realm that I put my expectations out there and want the same to be thrown back at me.

I can't get that.

I know that this is a cynical world and honesty is the last thing I should expect, but damn can a brother find a job, a friend, a relationship where he can be comfortable in knowing that he can deal in an emotional, spiritual and physical realm of honesty?

I am a black man.

I don't like rims.
I don't wear iced out jewelery.
Even though I am the embodiment of Hip Hop, I like my music composed.
I'm the grittiest educated negro I know. Next to the late Kahlid Muhammad.
I want a wife... I even would like to have a child, even though I say otherwise.
I never want to have a child out of wedlock.
I know the power of narcotics and alcohol, so I keep distance these days.
I invest my cash and always attempt to keep a stack so I can rock out when I want to.
I watch chick flicks, but I go to the shooting range with my dawgs to get that aggressiveness out.
I love children. I even volunteer at that children's hospital because they bring me joy.
I put in over 150 hours already in 2007.
I am an avid sports fan, but will TiVo the friggin Super Bowl this weekend if that means that I get to spend time with 'her'...
I create my own greeting cards and take my own photos... I am a crafter. I craft dammit.
I beat the shit out of the heavy bag on the regular. I have to because niggas ain't shit.
I am a sensitive man. I said that shit. I care not if the next man thinks that I'm a punk. The next man will get ass definitely and completely kicked if he bumps my family's record player. The record better not skip.
I wear my emotions on my sleeve.
I will end an important day early to make love to my honey. Business can wait.
I will cook, clean and pay the bills for her. I will not help her suppress in order to have a false sense of happiness.
I like a house kept by a woman. I got sports, working out and other man shit to make up for having peach colored drapes in my bedroom. That shit is comfortable, trust me.
I work. I have nothing else to say other than I work. I earn everything I get in this piece.


All of those things make me me. I have no idea why the world wants to whip out it's proverbial dick and take a piss on me. Seeing that I don't have an umbrella, I will kindly step out of the stream and kick the living shit out of the world's balls just to let it know that I'm standing down here trying to do my thing. I don't know where some of y'all got your home training, but if I extend my hand to you, know that I do it in honesty. It is tiring to keep getting a warm handshake and an ulterior motive. I still need some of me to continue to exist.

If I work for you, pay me and respect my gansta and privacy.
I date you and you respect me the way I do you.
If you are my blood relative, don't take advantage of me because I got some loot or know someone. Also, don't shut me out because I won't give your crackhead daughter 20 bux.
If you are my friend, don't sell me out and then think I won't want to tear a hole in your ass because I've been exposed by you.
If you read my blog and we have a relationship offline, don't be surprised if you get hit in the neck with a blogpost when you least expect it.
If you read my blog and we had a relationship offline and no longer communicate, know that I will never share your secrets and put your business on the street (that goes for those that hold current status too) just because we no longer kick it. I still respect you and yours, we just weren't meant to kick it long term. I expect you to extend the same.
If you are my mother and you read some shit (did that on purpose) that snaps your neck, know that this is my blog and if you want to, you can post a comment or better yet, you can start your own blog.
If you are a sibling and it hurt you to find out that I got touched by dude that used to be the bus chaperon... There are things you aren't supposed to know as a shorty, but you're grown now. Just as you have your own shit, I got mine. Respect.
If you stop by and are wondering just what the hell is going on here... It's a blog dammit. I can do whatever the hell I want to here. Be a little abstract and try to read between the lines sometimes.

All I want is to deal with and be dealt with on the up and up with folks. Is that much to ask for?