Version 2.0

Culture, healing, politics and bullshit - Not necessarily in that order

The general, socio-political and very personal rantings and ravings of a hip hop head from the hood hustling for change... Of himself.

You all know me and are aware that I am unable to remain silent. At times to be silent is to lie. For silence can be interpreted as acquiescence.
—Miguel de Unamuno


Sunday, January 28, 2007

I don't hate you, but...

But I damn sure don't love you either.

I guess I had a second post in me today.

You know what I hate? I mean what I totally hate? I hate the fact that no one can be direct with you. It's rare that people practice open and honestly with you these days. I try to exist in a realm that I put my expectations out there and want the same to be thrown back at me.

I can't get that.

I know that this is a cynical world and honesty is the last thing I should expect, but damn can a brother find a job, a friend, a relationship where he can be comfortable in knowing that he can deal in an emotional, spiritual and physical realm of honesty?

I am a black man.

I don't like rims.
I don't wear iced out jewelery.
Even though I am the embodiment of Hip Hop, I like my music composed.
I'm the grittiest educated negro I know. Next to the late Kahlid Muhammad.
I want a wife... I even would like to have a child, even though I say otherwise.
I never want to have a child out of wedlock.
I know the power of narcotics and alcohol, so I keep distance these days.
I invest my cash and always attempt to keep a stack so I can rock out when I want to.
I watch chick flicks, but I go to the shooting range with my dawgs to get that aggressiveness out.
I love children. I even volunteer at that children's hospital because they bring me joy.
I put in over 150 hours already in 2007.
I am an avid sports fan, but will TiVo the friggin Super Bowl this weekend if that means that I get to spend time with 'her'...
I create my own greeting cards and take my own photos... I am a crafter. I craft dammit.
I beat the shit out of the heavy bag on the regular. I have to because niggas ain't shit.
I am a sensitive man. I said that shit. I care not if the next man thinks that I'm a punk. The next man will get ass definitely and completely kicked if he bumps my family's record player. The record better not skip.
I wear my emotions on my sleeve.
I will end an important day early to make love to my honey. Business can wait.
I will cook, clean and pay the bills for her. I will not help her suppress in order to have a false sense of happiness.
I like a house kept by a woman. I got sports, working out and other man shit to make up for having peach colored drapes in my bedroom. That shit is comfortable, trust me.
I work. I have nothing else to say other than I work. I earn everything I get in this piece.

All of those things make me me. I have no idea why the world wants to whip out it's proverbial dick and take a piss on me. Seeing that I don't have an umbrella, I will kindly step out of the stream and kick the living shit out of the world's balls just to let it know that I'm standing down here trying to do my thing. I don't know where some of y'all got your home training, but if I extend my hand to you, know that I do it in honesty. It is tiring to keep getting a warm handshake and an ulterior motive. I still need some of me to continue to exist.

If I work for you, pay me and respect my gansta and privacy.
I date you and you respect me the way I do you.
If you are my blood relative, don't take advantage of me because I got some loot or know someone. Also, don't shut me out because I won't give your crackhead daughter 20 bux.
If you are my friend, don't sell me out and then think I won't want to tear a hole in your ass because I've been exposed by you.
If you read my blog and we have a relationship offline, don't be surprised if you get hit in the neck with a blogpost when you least expect it.
If you read my blog and we had a relationship offline and no longer communicate, know that I will never share your secrets and put your business on the street (that goes for those that hold current status too) just because we no longer kick it. I still respect you and yours, we just weren't meant to kick it long term. I expect you to extend the same.
If you are my mother and you read some shit (did that on purpose) that snaps your neck, know that this is my blog and if you want to, you can post a comment or better yet, you can start your own blog.
If you are a sibling and it hurt you to find out that I got touched by dude that used to be the bus chaperon... There are things you aren't supposed to know as a shorty, but you're grown now. Just as you have your own shit, I got mine. Respect.
If you stop by and are wondering just what the hell is going on here... It's a blog dammit. I can do whatever the hell I want to here. Be a little abstract and try to read between the lines sometimes.

All I want is to deal with and be dealt with on the up and up with folks. Is that much to ask for?


Kip said...

To Hassan

Yes, there are times we have to rant and get things off our -- chest getting things off your chest is like tears, and tears are a lubrication of purification. You have a lot to say because a lot has gone down in your life from birth, childhood, teenage years, and adulthood. Some people may say Hassan seems to have some animosity, but I say if animosity made you speak but at least you spoke loc, and that’s all that mattered.

This was a good post and you got the word out and you were heard. Now to the general public the man has spoken so peace be on that.


Luke Cage said...

A famous writer called Lawrence Powell once said "Write to be understood, speak to be heard, read to grow” - I love getting my fill of these whenever I visit your blog, friend. Your jewels are always concise, on point and dropped like bombs over Baghdad. As always, nicely done. Anyone can rant, you just bring a different kind of vybe and flavor when you do.

Anonymous said...

You know what luv...every time I read your blog I feel like each post is the best I've ever read.

You are such a profound writer that it is truly amazing. I walk away feeling like a student having just received another lesson. I love it.


Tasha said...

You are so poignant with your words, that even when you're ranting at the world you still manage to teach lessons and inspire.

Anonymous said...

It's not too much to ask for. As a matter of fact, it's a shame that you should have to ask for something that should be given freely.

I loved this.

Unknown said...

I just discovered you, I am still sifting through but I liove your honesty and your altruism. I will stop by more often and brutha...naw you aion't asking for too much, you asking for just enuff

deepnthought said...

thank you for sharing your rants with the world.

Sweet KeiKei said...

i'm with diva (in demand)...i too feel like every time i read one your posts it is the best!

i also search for the place on this earth where i can expose myself without being judged, used or manipulated because that's not the reason for my exposure. i expose myself so that others can see the real me, the beautiful and delicate woman that i truly am, and treat me like i'm beautiful and delicate. but, in a day and age where the ultimate goal is to get everything done as quick and as easy as possible without taking the time to enjoy the process that is life, maybe it is too much to ask.

aquababie said...

no you're not ranting again. put out into the world what you want, need and deserve. you will get it.

sammytheseal said...

I live in England, and will probably never meet you....but I like your mind...

Anonymous said...

I Havent been on ure page for rome time now but today im glad that i decided to read. i see my error and ive seen it for some time now but today it was highlightened underlined and in bold hopeing that one day youll find her you deserve it. as for me im working on bettering me so that one day some one will love my stank ass!i hope that my error is to ya!

LadyLee said...

"...All I want is to deal with and be dealt with on the up and up..."

Really though.

You summed it all up with that one, Hassan. I thought it was just me, but it is hard to find people who are on the up-and-up. The best we can do... just start with ourselves and don't be conformed to what society deems the standard.

Good thought-provoking post as always!

Anonymous said...



Ms_SoCal said...

Hey you ... I am so glad that I stopped by ... and know that is never too much to ask for! ((muah))

unsaid said...

Here's what I'ma need you to do. I don't care if you don't read my blog...When you update your blog, I need you to leave me a comment in one of my posts that says "Hey, I've just dropped the realness on my page, why don't you come by and read it? Thank you." LOL... I'm so mad I haven't been coming through here!