Lemonade Was A Popular Drink And It Still Is...

It comes to this:

The fact that even though you've lived in four different decades but you don't feel it. The fact that some of your peers actually took that shit seriously and still hit the clubs with the reckless tenacity of a twenty five year old when you've realized that it ain't that much vodka and tequila in the world...

And the fact that the ass you're fixated with that's rocking to some banging ass rhythm track in staccato and seizure infused lighting, as well as the drink you're consuming has been created, crafted, written, mixed and in the tight, firm housing of a twenty three year old.

Times have changed. So have you.


I still love Hip Hop and all of its elements the same way I always have. A good record still feels the same in my head, causing me to nod incessantly as I wonder what in the world possessed the beat maker to sequence that joint like that! I still try to picture in my mind the processes that caused that particular jam to be irked out of the composer's soul. It still feels the same because that's how I approached it as a kid. I still try to figure the record out by letting the lyrical content paint its picture and the accompanying track provide rhythmic guidance.

It doesn't feel like 35 years ago when I first heard "DJ Riz is in the house and he'll turn it out without a doubt" on a bootlegged reel to reel over my uncle Butch's house, but I did. And it was. I also remember sitting in my friend John's bedroom in Colorado Springs watching 'Pump It Up' and checking the video for 'Who's Gonna Take The Weight', going ape shit over both the monotone, polemic lyrics from the emcee and the DJ's awesome cutting of the 'This Stuff Is Really Fresh' whistle/break in the chorus. I've always thought of my former rap partner/DJ MorninMan (nee: DJ Guillotine back int he 90s) as the 'Primo I knew' in the Midwest because of how he studied how he crafted his breaks. We tried to be GangStarr. No one can duplicate either Guru or Premier. They cannot be touched. That was 19 years ago. I copped that rap group's first tape more than 20 years ago. The group reshuffled and this was the second album of cuts that defined my listenership of Hip Hop as a young adult. It defined who I was back then.

Come to think of it, it still does.

We'll never get another GangStarr record again.

Keith Elam was 48 when he passed the day before my birthday last week. GangStarr had been on life support since 2003. I was a grown man before the first album came out.

Funny how time flies.

And now, like many more that have passed before me, I must find a way to continue to nod my head to them funky-ass break beats... With one less person to rock out with. One of my close friends lost someone personally closer this week as well. A distant friend also lost someone both distant and close at the same time a few weeks ago and my brother from another mother still grieves for a love supreme, lost mere months ago.

We find ways to push on.

I got chances to see Keith perform. We never met, but he found a way to get in my head and express what I absolutely could not more than 22 years ago. He still had the right gathering of lyrical content to keep me feeling like that little kid who had no earthly clue who in the hell Coke La Rock was when he spit that famous verbal gem over a Kool Herc break.

Keithy E The Guru kept me young. Guru of GangStarr kept my ass lively on older legs. Guru's Jazzmatazz refined me into maturity. Baldhead Slick kept me street by keeping my ears firmly pressed to them. DJ Premier kept me connected by perfecting what DST and Grand Wizard Theodore innovated all the way back in 75'.

I may be older and a little broken down, but I am still, without a doubt and forever will be Hip Hop.

Let me be the first to give the Master his props:

God bless you Grand Master Guru. Rest in peace.




.

Nothing Really Matters, Nothing Is Forever

I haven't been that  damn busy, I just haven't written anything.

I must admit that during my down time the last couple of weeks I've taken the characteristics of a lot of my friends and fam's emotional output to cover my own. It's been rough trying to rationalize the cold, hard fact that a doctor has put your life on a clock. Or have they?

It didn't take lone for me to realize that things can't go well for me if I sit and do nothing. It was the last week of March when I found out that I have chronic kidney disease and I had an idea about how things would go if I reacted instead of thinking about being proactive in how I want live the rest of my life. I knew that I would have to fight habit, naysayers and deal with emotions from other family members when I revealed it to them, but I didn't know how I would react to myself.

And then about 2 weeks ago, I reacted:




Not a whole lot matters.




Naw, y'all... Not like that! I meant nothing outside me, mine or our happiness matter.

As much of a news junkie I am. As much Hip Hop I consume. As much as I travel and work my little business thing, nothing is more important than my health.

That's it. Nothing really matters outside of you unless...



And that's that piece. Roll credits.

Sorry, I gotta try and get some sleep now. Gotta go work.


More about Dorothy Height, Arizona, what if the Tea Party were black, the national guard possibly holding down Chicago's streets and other stuff that really doesn't matter to me later. I gotta get back in the swing of blogging for purpose.

I just wanted to say hello.

I just figured I'd upload a video I shot while hanging on Frenchman Street in NOLA a few weeks ago around 1 am. Good times, good times. 

Oh, and I love most of y'all.

So Many Tears

I shall not fear no man but God
Though I walk through the valley of death
I shed so many tears (if I should die before I wake)
Please God walk with me (grab a ni*@# and take me to Heaven)

Back in elementary, I thrived on misery
Left me alone I grew up amongst a dyin breed
Inside my mind couldn't find a place to rest
until I got that Thug Life tatted on my chest
Tell me can you feel me? I'm not livin in the past, you wanna last
Be tha first to blast, remember Kato
No longer with us he's deceased
Call on the sirens, seen him murdered in the streets
Now rest in peace
Is there heaven for a G? Remember me
So many homies in the cemetery, shed so many tears

Ahh, I suffered through the years, and shed so many tears..
Lord, I lost so many peers, and shed so many tears

Now that I'm strugglin in this business, by any means
Label me greedy gettin green, but seldom seen
And fuck the world cause I'm cursed, I'm havin' visions
of leavin here in a hearse, God can you feel me?
Take me away from all the pressure, and all the pain
Show me some happiness again, I'm goin blind
I spend my time in this cell, ain't livin well
I know my destiny is Hell, where did I fail?
My life is in denial, and when I die,
baptized in eternal fire I'll shed so many tears

Lord, I suffered through the years, and shed so many tears..
Lord, I lost so many peers, and shed so many tears

Now I'm lost and I'm weary, so many tears
I'm suicidal, so don't stand near me
My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer
to embrace an early death, now there's nothin left
There was no mercy on the streets, I couldn't rest
I'm barely standin, bout to go to pieces, screamin' peace
And though my soul was deleted, I couldn't see it
I had my mind full of demons tryin to break free
They planted seeds and they hatched, sparkin the flame
inside my brain like a match, such a dirty game
No memories, just a misery
Paintin a picture of my enemies killin me, in my sleep
Will I survive til the mo'nin, to see the sun
Please Lord forgive me for my sins, cause here I come...

Lord, I suffered through the years (God) and shed so many tears..
God, I lost so many peers, and shed so many tears

Lord knows I.. tried, been a witness to homicide
Seen drivebys takin lives, little kids die
Wonder why as I walk by
Broken-hearted as I glance at the chalk line, gettin' high
This ain't the life for me, I wanna change
But ain't no future right for me, I'm stuck in the game
I'm trapped inside a maze
See this Tanqueray influenced me to gettin crazy
Disillusioned lately, I've been really wantin babies
so I could see a part of me that wasn't always shady
Don't trust my lady, cause she's a product of this poison
I'm hearin noises, think she fuckin all my boys, can't take no more
I'm fallin to the floor; beggin for the Lord to let me in
to Heaven's door -- shed so many tears
(Dear God, please let me in)

Lord, I've lost so many years, and shed so many tears..
I lost so many peers, and shed so many tears
Lord, I suffered through the years, and shed so many tears..
God, I lost so many peers, and shed so many tears 




Tupac Shakur






.

The Devil Made Me Do This

I'm up and cannot sleep (just like any regular night) because of the Devil.

I was asleep a few hours ago, but I've been fasting for the last three days only eating one 'solid' meal per and it's been a vegetarian meal at that.

Anyhoo, I've been supplementing with dandelion and horsetail root mixed with organic, unsweetened cranberry juice 4 times a day along with activated charcoal twice daily. Last night/this morning is when the fun began (faster's crisis).

The circulation in my legs below the knees was non-existent and I usually have them massaged and then throw on a pair of compression socks to keep my feet warm when I sleep but last night I decided to forgo that... Ever since I've been on this kidney flush things have been better, or so I thought.

There was immense pain going on in my toes and feet and I couldn't wake up to correct the action. Instead, a dark force came over me and asked me if I was willing to trade off the souls of a few people I know in order to stop the pain.

I tried to bargain and reason with this dark force because I immediately noticed that it never identified itself but was asking me specifically to offer up something I had no control over. My reasoning was right and correct in my assessment because I told it (not verbatim) "How can something not of this world (and I knew that it wasn't from round' these parts) ask little old ME to bridge something of this world off of this plane of existence just to ease an insignificant amount of pain?"

Whatever it was that had me immediately let me go and I was awake, sitting on the edge of my bed, rubbing my feet and needing to go to the bathroom to release.

What the hell?

And then I knew that 'it' was the devil, or some form of it/him/them.

It took three days of fasting (and those blessed herbs) to get that out of me. I knew it was always there. I know that there is more. I'm glad I'm doing the things I need to purge the unhealthiness out of me.

I know I ain't crazy... As crazy as this note sounds.

I just needed to document this and give a little testimony about faith, healing and herbs at 6 in the morning. I mean, really... What if I would have given into that train of thought? Would I have been healed of pain?

Did I mention that I'm not currently in any pain even after I refused 'the darkness' offer?

So lucid.
So real, that experience was.

I know I'm not bugging. This fasting and purging is REAL!

After going thru what I believe is my FIRST faster's crisis moment I can safely say that the Devil made me write this note.

Or whatever that was.

Thursday

I hate waking up in the morning in pain.

Okay, I hate that I cannot sleep until damn near 7am and then waking up at 8:30 in pain. I also hate that when I go to bed (whenever that is) that I can't sleep because of pain. I don't like drugs because I'm up a lot and I either want to remember things or want to learn. I don't like the concept of sleep because I feel like I'll miss something.

I love having news radio, public TV news and the internet news sites going on at the same time while I'm up overnight. It takes my mind off of 'stuff'. I then watch Better Mornings Atlanta and Monsters in the Morning here in  Chicago before I turn in. I have to.

It's frustrating because of the shit I have to drag myself through with the affects of having what I got. I used to say that I'd be better off dead until I lost my writing partner and close friend. I don't understand death anymore than I did a year ago but I do know one thing... I wouldn't be alive if I were dead. And that means no travel or learning stuff that I could only use on Jeopardy.

Plus, I wanna continue traveling. Getting off the plane as well as standing out of the car justifies the pain when I stretch. Plus I expense acupuncture, reflexology and massage sessions. That's a perk I guess.

I'm tired now. I guess I'm going to lay down. It's a scheduled part of my day.

Going Green?

I wake up mornings knowing now that some goals will never be accomplished.

It just is what it is. Nothing is perfect, nothing lasts forever ya' know? I've never been the guy to scare easily but it just hit me a couple of days ago that my current state of health and my plans on working with, around and pushing this disease around determines how much longer I live.

If I do nothing and keep the same diet (which is pretty light in the ass right now whenever I actually feel like eating) then it's probably a wrap in 24 to 36 months. Just add dialysis and mobility issues. What the hell kind of life is THAT?

Yeah, I plan on doing something. Matter of fact, I've been a little proactive in how I treat myself by taking courses/classes in naturopathy and herbalism. That's the new direction, green. I figure after damn near 4 decades around the sun immersed in soul food - fast food - genetically manipulated - instant grown foods was probably too much. I knew back in the day before I got all gaunt and sickly that the human body wasn't designed for what I've done to me.

I just hope I get a chance (like 40 more years at a minimum, right?) to reverse all, no most, some of the damage Ive done to my pancreas, kidneys and liver by eating like a damn billy goat.

There is no guilt or anything, just pumping my brakes in order to get my ish together and live... Eating to live. I know now and accepted the fact that I can't eat and drink like I used to. I sat for a couple of days and teeter-tottered over trying to eat clean and then 'treating myself' to alcohol & sugar and the like and then I thought - it goes against everything I've learned and applied so far with vegetarianism.

For a moment it snapped my neck and made me pause when I knew that going vegan and totally detaching from the standard American diet version or vegetarianism. I didn't want to go so far down the green hole that I couldn't enjoy 'stuff' until I realized...

I am going to die because of what I put in my mouth, so I decided to go green. That's right, I'm embracing vegetarianism en route to going vegan. I set up another blog to journal my experience. Check me out over at

http://bloggingwhilegreen.blogspot.com

Pray for the folks around me...

Unplug

Neglected this blog is.

Sometimes.

I could rant about the loss of Marvin Gaye on this day 26 long-ass years ago with no heir apparent in sight...
I could write about all of the wonderful April Fool's jokes played on this day...
I could review the smashing mini-slate of a phone I copped (the HTC HD2 if you're asking) and how I got 3 places in line for iPads Saturday morning...
The term 'Negro" actually existing on my census form...
How now we gotta prove (in more ways than one) that racism actually took place Sunday before last and that our sworn representatives aren't lying just to drum up unwanted political and racial firestorms...

Not going to do it.

Instead, I'll be brief and go on about expectations.

Everyone wants to be rich. Either that or real nice-like. Good job. Nice home. Kids that won't rebel against you and will do you proud. A good tax attorney. Some people have dreams and write, sing, dance, slang crack rock or has a wicked jump shot just to reach what most consider the unattainable.

Some of us get close. Some of us actually score the touchdown. Others serve and help others up and receive rewards greater than a check in their mailbox with a whole lotta' zeros...

What happens when in all of your hard work and sacrifice you get upended by the very last thing you think would trip you up? What about your health? What if you had everything you wanted in life, only to know that eventually, sometime soon that would come second to you giving up everything in order to have a proper healing moment?

All of those other things don't really matter anymore, huh?

I spent much of 2009 witnessing my closest friend detach from the 'world' to concentrate and focus on her health. She never lost love. She never lost family and true friends. She even had the fair weather folk extend their hand in comfort as she slowly lost the ability to achieve all things material and then she lost her life.

It's hard to watch. It's easy to participate because you want to comfort a friend. You never think anything like that could happen to you even though it hits so close to home. I now have my moment. From this point, my focus no longer resides on the track with the rat racers. I now have my own health battle to fight.

Funny thing is, I am so prepared for this moment thanks to being a part of experiences (yes, multiple) that ended some lives and forever changed others. I no longer exist to compete with my contemporaries. I have a home and all of my necessities, I am able to get the things I want on top of that but this is no longer my priority. My longevity depends on my ability to learn from the past and adapt (and change) to live in comfort health wise. It will be a challenge because of  cultural conditioning...

But I'm up for it.

If you've read this far then I have an assignment for you. Diabetic Nephropathy . I gave you a freebie by linking the Google Health page to the name of this dis-ease. Look it up, then look at a friend or family member. If there is someone with diabetes in your circle, then do something about not letting them get to this point. The feast of materialisms and our participation in it is a reason we get to a point where it feels like bricks are crashing through your roof onto your living room floor.

But alas, I was prepared for these moments. Not many have been prepped to leave the Matrix, embrace change and apply the opposite of what we've been taught. I got a feeling from all of my waiting room visits, peers and total strangers I come across carrying heavy, life threatening burdens out of sheer ignorance (like I have) I won't be the only one affected.

What are your expectations in life, about life... Once you're forced to unplug?

Know The Ledge

Office of the Law Revision Counsel, U.S. House of Representatives

    18 USC Sec. 115                                             01/05/2009

-EXPCITE-


    TITLE 18 - CRIMES AND CRIMINAL PROCEDURE


    PART I - CRIMES


    CHAPTER 7 - ASSAULT

-HEAD-


    Sec. 115. Influencing, impeding, or retaliating against a Federal


      official by threatening or injuring a family member

-STATUTE-


      (a)(1) Whoever - 


        (A) assaults, kidnaps, or murders, or attempts or conspires to


      kidnap or murder, or threatens to assault, kidnap or murder a


      member of the immediate family of a United States official, a


      United States judge, a Federal law enforcement officer, or an


      official whose killing would be a crime under section 1114 of


      this title; or


        (B) threatens to assault, kidnap, or murder, a United States


      official, a United States judge, a Federal law enforcement


      officer, or an official whose killing would be a crime under such


      section,

with intent to impede, intimidate, or interfere with such official,


    judge, or law enforcement officer while engaged in the performance


    of official duties, or with intent to retaliate against such


    official, judge, or law enforcement officer on account of the


    performance of official duties, shall be punished as provided in


    subsection (b).


      (2) Whoever assaults, kidnaps, or murders, or attempts or


    conspires to kidnap or murder, or threatens to assault, kidnap, or


    murder, any person who formerly served as a person designated in


    paragraph (1), or a member of the immediate family of any person


    who formerly served as a person designated in paragraph (1), with


    intent to retaliate against such person on account of the


    performance of official duties during the term of service of such


    person, shall be punished as provided in subsection (b).


      (b)(1) The punishment for an assault in violation of this section


    is - 


        (A) a fine under this title; and


        (B)(i) if the assault consists of a simple assault, a term of


      imprisonment for not more than 1 year;


        (ii) if the assault involved physical contact with the victim


      of that assault or the intent to commit another felony, a term of


      imprisonment for not more than 10 years;


        (iii) if the assault resulted in bodily injury, a term of


      imprisonment for not more than 20 years; or


        (iv) if the assault resulted in serious bodily injury (as that


      term is defined in section 1365 of this title, and including any


      conduct that, if the conduct occurred in the special maritime and


      territorial jurisdiction of the United States, would violate


      section 2241 or 2242 of this title) or a dangerous weapon was


      used during and in relation to the offense, a term of


      imprisonment for not more than 30 years.

(2) A kidnapping, attempted kidnapping, or conspiracy to kidnap


    in violation of this section shall be punished as provided in


    section 1201 of this title for the kidnapping or attempted


    kidnapping of, or a conspiracy to kidnap, a person described in


    section 1201(a)(5) of this title.


      (3) A murder, attempted murder, or conspiracy to murder in


    violation of this section shall be punished as provided in sections


    1111, 1113, and 1117 of this title.


      (4) A threat made in violation of this section shall be punished


    by a fine under this title or imprisonment for a term of not more


    than 10 years, or both, except that imprisonment for a threatened


    assault shall not exceed 6 years.


      (c) As used in this section, the term - 


        (1) "Federal law enforcement officer" means any officer, agent,


      or employee of the United States authorized by law or by a


      Government agency to engage in or supervise the prevention,


      detection, investigation, or prosecution of any violation of


      Federal criminal law;


        (2) "immediate family member" of an individual means - 


          (A) his spouse, parent, brother or sister, child or person to


        whom he stands in loco parentis; or


          (B) any other person living in his household and related to


        him by blood or marriage;

(3) "United States judge" means any judicial officer of the


      United States, and includes a justice of the Supreme Court and a


      United States magistrate judge; and


        (4) "United States official" means the President, President-


      elect, Vice President, Vice President-elect, a Member of


      Congress, a member-elect of Congress, a member of the executive


      branch who is the head of a department listed in 5 U.S.C. 101, or


      the Director of the Central Intelligence Agency.

(d) This section shall not interfere with the investigative


    authority of the United States Secret Service, as provided under


    sections 3056, 871, and 879 of this title.

-SOURCE-


    (Added Pub. L. 98-473, title II, Sec. 1008(a), Oct. 12, 1984, 98


    Stat. 2140; amended Pub. L. 99-646, Secs. 37(a), 60, Nov. 10, 1986,


    100 Stat. 3599, 3613; Pub. L. 100-690, title VI, Sec. 6487(f)[b],


    Nov. 18, 1988, 102 Stat. 4386; Pub. L. 101-647, title XXXV, Sec.


    3508, Nov. 29, 1990, 104 Stat. 4922; Pub. L. 101-650, title III,


    Sec. 321, Dec. 1, 1990, 104 Stat. 5117; Pub. L. 103-322, title


    XXXIII, Secs. 330016(2)(C), 330021(1), Sept. 13, 1994, 108 Stat.


    2148, 2150; Pub. L. 104-132, title VII, Secs. 723(a), 727(b), Apr.


    24, 1996, 110 Stat. 1300, 1302; Pub. L. 107-273, div. B, title IV,


    Sec. 4002(b)(9), div. C, title I, Sec. 11008(c), Nov. 2, 2002, 116


    Stat. 1808, 1818; Pub. L. 110-177, title II, Sec. 208(a), Jan. 7,


    2008, 121 Stat. 2538.)

-MISC1-


                                AMENDMENTS                            


      2008 - Subsec. (b)(1). Pub. L. 110-177 added par. (1) and struck


    out former par. (1) which read as follows: "An assault in violation


    of this section shall be punished as provided in section 111 of


    this title."


      2002 - Subsec. (b)(2). Pub. L. 107-273, Sec. 4002(b)(9),


    substituted "or attempted kidnapping of, or a conspiracy to kidnap,


    a person" for ", attempted kidnapping, or conspiracy to kidnap of a


    person".


      Subsec. (b)(4). Pub. L. 107-273, Sec. 11008(c), substituted "10"


    for "five" and "6" for "three".


      1996 - Subsec. (a)(1)(A). Pub. L. 104-132, Sec. 723(a)(1),


    inserted "or conspires" after "attempts".


      Subsec. (a)(2). Pub. L. 104-132, Sec. 727(b)(1), which directed


    insertion of ", or threatens to assault, kidnap, or murder, any


    person who formerly served as a person designated in paragraph (1),


    or" after "assaults, kidnaps, or murders, or attempts to kidnap or


    murder", was executed by making the substitution after "assaults,


    kidnaps, or murders, or attempts or conspires to kidnap or murder"


    to reflect the probable intent of Congress and the amendment by


    Pub. L. 104-132, Sec. 723(a)(1). See below.


      Pub. L. 104-132, Sec. 723(a)(1), inserted "or conspires" after


    "attempts".


      Subsec. (b)(2). Pub. L. 104-132, Sec. 723(a)(2), substituted ",


    attempted kidnapping, or conspiracy to kidnap" for "or attempted


    kidnapping" in two places.


      Subsec. (b)(3). Pub. L. 104-132, Sec. 723(a)(3), substituted ",


    attempted murder, or conspiracy to murder" and ", 1113, and 1117"


    for "or attempted murder" and "and 1113", respectively.


      Subsec. (d). Pub. L. 104-132, Sec. 727(b)(2), added subsec. (d).


      1994 - Subsec. (b)(2). Pub. L. 103-322, Sec. 330021(1),


    substituted "kidnapping" for "kidnaping" in two places.


      Subsec. (b)(4). Pub. L. 103-322, Sec. 330016(2)(C), substituted


    "fine under this title" for "fine of not more than $5,000".


      1990 - Subsec. (c)(4). Pub. L. 101-647 substituted "the Central"


    for "The Central".


      1988 - Subsec. (a). Pub. L. 100-690 amended subsec. (a)


    generally. Prior to amendment, subsec. (a) read as follows:


    "Whoever assaults, kidnaps, or murders, or attempts to kidnap or


    murder, or threatens to assault, kidnap or murder a member of the


    immediate family of a United States official, a United States


    judge, a Federal law enforcement officer, or an official whose


    killing would be a crime under section 1114 of this title, or


    threatens to assault, kidnap, or murder, a United States official,


    a United States judge, a Federal law enforcement officer, or an


    official whose killing would be a crime under such section with


    intent to impede, intimidate, interfere with, or retaliate against


    such official, judge or law enforcement officer while engaged in or


    on account of the performance of official duties, shall be punished


    as provided in subsection (b)."


      1986 - Subsec. (a). Pub. L. 99-646, Sec. 60, substituted "section


    1114 of this title, or threatens to assault, kidnap, or murder, a


    United States official, a United States judge, a Federal law


    enforcement officer, or an official whose killing would be a crime


    under such section" for "18 U.S.C. 1114, as amended,", "while


    engaged" for "while he is engaged", and "official duties" for "his


    official duties".


      Subsec. (b)(2). Pub. L. 99-646, Sec. 37(a), inserted "for the


    kidnapping or attempted kidnapping of a person described in section


    1201(a)(5) of this title".

-CHANGE-


                              CHANGE OF NAME                          


      Reference to the Director of Central Intelligence or the Director


    of the Central Intelligence Agency in the Director's capacity as


    the head of the intelligence community deemed to be a reference to


    the Director of National Intelligence. Reference to the Director of


    Central Intelligence or the Director of the Central Intelligence


    Agency in the Director's capacity as the head of the Central


    Intelligence Agency deemed to be a reference to the Director of the


    Central Intelligence Agency. See section 1081(a), (b) of Pub. L.


    108-458, set out as a note under section 401 of Title 50, War and


    National Defense.


      "United States magistrate judge" substituted for "United States


    magistrate" in subsec. (c)(3) pursuant to section 321 of Pub. L.


    101-650, set out as a note under section 631 of Title 28, Judiciary


    and Judicial Procedure.

-TRANS-


                           TRANSFER OF FUNCTIONS                       


      For transfer of the functions, personnel, assets, and obligations


    of the United States Secret Service, including the functions of the


    Secretary of the Treasury relating thereto, to the Secretary of


    Homeland Security, and for treatment of related references, see


    sections 381, 551(d), 552(d), and 557 of Title 6, Domestic


    Security, and the Department of Homeland Security Reorganization


    Plan of November 25, 2002, as modified, set out as a note under


    section 542 of Title 6.

Sedition is a term of law which refers to overt conduct, such as speech and organization, that is deemed by the legal authority as tending toward insurrection against the established order. Sedition often includes subversion of a constitution and incitement of discontent (orresistance) to lawful authority. Sedition may include any commotion, though not aimed at direct and open violence against the laws. Seditious words in writing are seditious libel. A seditionist is one who engages in or promotes the interests of sedition.

Typically, sedition is considered a subversive act, and the overt acts that may be prosecutable under sedition laws vary from one legal code to another. Where the history of these legal codes has been traced, there is also a record of the change in the definition of the elements constituting sedition at certain points in history. This overview has served to develop a sociological definition of sedition as well, within the study of state persecution.

The difference between sedition and treason consists primarily in the subjective ultimate object of the violation to the public peace. Sedition does not consist of levying war against a government nor of adhering to its enemies, giving enemies aid, and giving enemies comfort. Nor does it consist, in most representative democracies, of peaceful protest against a government, nor of attempting to change the government bydemocratic means (such as direct democracy or constitutional convention).

Sedition is the stirring up of rebellion against the government in power. Treason is the violation of allegiance to one's sovereign or state, giving aid to enemies, or levying war against one's state. Sedition is encouraging one's fellow citizens to rebel against their state, whereas treason is actually betraying one's country by aiding and abetting another state. Sedition laws somewhat equate to terrorism and public order laws.

Live From Beale Street

The Least Of These

On the last day, Jesus will say to those on His right hand, "Come, enter the Kingdom. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was sick and you visited me." Then Jesus will turn to those on His left hand and say, "Depart from me because I was hungry and you did not feed me, I was thirsty and you did not give me to drink, I was sick and you did not visit me." These will ask Him, "When did we see You hungry, or thirsty or sick and did not come to Your help?" And Jesus will answer them, "Whatever you neglected to do unto one of these least of these, you neglected to do unto Me!"


Mother Teresa of Calcutta
Opening statement given at the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington DC Thur, 3 Feb 94






Please don't think that you have to put this behind you. This will be an issue that you will continue to speak of until you hit your grave.

In my eyes, it's nice that somewhere around 32 million more Americans will have access to healthcare, and that most Americans (if they want) can have federal subsidies pay for healthcare. It's also not all gloom and doom that there is a mandate requiring all to have at least a minimum of catastrophic health insurance or one has to pay into a pool which would be used to pay for the massive healthcare overhaul whenever the president sings the bill into law. We have used our military, intellectual and diplomatic might to help put other countries in a similar position over the past 100 or so years. All of the countries we assisted in tearing down (Germany, Japan, France to name some of the major players) we also suggested and constructed their version of universal healthcare as well as ways of government.

I urge all of you that haven't taken the time and don't know to check out Roosevelt's Second Bill Of Rights. While this never came into existence, it would have shut down any conversation we're having now about what is a right versus what is privilege. Our country has taken a hard turn downward and to the right since FDR passed.

This leads me to my belief that the passage of HR 3590 is one of the most important bill passages in civil rights history.

See, most of that 32 million that will have access to healthcare when that bill gets signed are some form of brown skinned person. Access and affordability when it comes to healthcare has been one of the most pressing issues along with obtaining a proper and equal education, the unbalanced bias of the justice system, overall freedoms of citizenship and access to resources that are readily available to all Americans.

It's not that this is overly complicated. It's not that it wasn't explained properly and thoroughly. In repeated attempts to marginalize, discredit and slander the African American president over suggesting a very tattered and used policy that we've seen before (even with the kickbacks, payoffs and back room deals) and his administration as well as the politicians and civilians that assisted the crafting of the 2010 bill, a certain group of Americans chose not to understand and have been and will continue to use hatred, racism and nationalism to paint the process and continued actions in a negative light.

They purposely misinterpreted the words and actions. They lied and slandered their way to an argumentative point with no real counter. They rallied millions against their own personal interests in continued efforts to marginalize, undervalue and underestimate the president, and those that would receive access once healthcare would be overhauled using the excuse of overtaxation and the emergence of a welfare state.

Racism by way of nationalism and white privilege. There, I said it.

Now of course, it ain't everybody, just that fringe 15% that has the power to infect the masses. The fringe has done well. Whereas the internet, newspapers, television and plain old word of mouth have worked out well in informing the masses and giving us access to research we can do on our own accord, it was a certain fringe that flooded the airwaves and reading periodicals, the internet and spread lies and gossip about a certain 'so-called' communist, Marxist, socialist, Muslim's evil agenda.

They taught me as a kid (in those old history books that still had MLK alive and under terror watch by JEH) that we were a nation of a mixed beautiful mass, hellbent on helping our fellow citizen thus forming a more perfect union. Unless you're brown skinned, of course. I live with the overstanding that in this country, our cultural conditioning teaches us to consider all things African American inferior and all things Caucasian superior and based on our cultural conditioning, African Americans are marginalized, undervalued and underestimated.

So mad some folks are over this black man at the helm of our country and that policy has been raised, voted on and enacted so that more folk that look like him will be able to remain healthy due to access to the same freedoms that they have been since the establishment of this union...

I urge you to not put this behind you. I beg of you to not forget these moments. I can tell you with all certainty that they will not.

Wealth's True Joy

One of the greatest joys we can experience is that of knowing that we are secure enough in our resources to do our part to ensure that others can enjoy blessings similar to our own. There is a sense of impotence that comes with being unable to share our limited wealth with people in need. When we achieve a level of abundance that allows us to make use of the richness of our lives in a charitable and selfless manner, we come to understand that money and possessions have little value beyond what they are used for. Used philanthropically, our resources become a blessing more profound than any we’ve enjoyed in the past because we understand that we are not the only ones positively impacted by them. As you use your resources to do good in life, you will feel, for the first time, truly appreciative of your abundance.


- Djehuty Ma'at-Ra

Live From Frenchmen Street

Happy Saturday morning...

Sunday! Sunday!! Sunday!!!

I was denied healthcare coverage January 2008 by Blue Cross/Blue Shield while working for JB Hunt Transportation in its lease program due to me having diabetes. I was also denied term life insurance and disability by some other company I cannot recall right now as well. It was cool though, I'm a veteran of the US Armed Forces. I got my back covered.

Funny thing is that I went out and bought my own coverage from BC/BS which cost much more than the Group Universal prices I was used to paying along with contributions from my employers over the years when I was an employee. I've always had some form of Blue Cross in my adult life. I also have been a federal employee most of my adult life until 2004...

So I was given less than a million dollars of lifetime coverages and my deductible back in 08 was high as hell...

I've had my setbacks since I was diagnosed as a diabetic in 1998. Most of my problems came in late 06 and throughout 07. In 07, I was in Houston and my host suggested that I go to the VA Hospital to care for pneumonia-like symptoms I displayed when I got down there from Chicago. It took 6 weeks to get an appointment because the Houston VA system is a bit crowded, I was skeptical about the VA, but I had no other choice but to go.

I went and was taken care of. My portion of care for me to pay for was minimal, right around 20%. There is a flat rate for prescriptions... If I weren't a married man first quarter of 2008, I would have never wanted to buy into the insurance system. I know that my other half was used to a certain amount of care plus she wasn't eligible for the VA CHAMPUS system.

So over the past damn near 25 years I've been aware enough to know, this health care shit (and I really mean that... it's bullshit) has worked against the people that attempt to support it in order to live.

My dad has been with his company for 25 years this summer, he has that Cadillac ish...
My moms works for a hospital system 21 years this fall...
My step-dad is 11 years in the City of Chicago's workforce and health care system...
My sister is a BSN and her husband is a financial broker. The money and care is there...
Little Bruh, 5+ years management with big energy. His wife, board licensed Chicago school teacher
Older brother like myself, business owner and med policy wrangler (for now) because there are employees...
My wife is self employed and also teaches in a university system and is married to me...
Mother in law is 17+ plus years deep working for a private hospital in Oklahoma...
Father in law is retired military...

I've only witnessed the bullshit from afar, mouth agape after listening to co-workers and friends off the old block. I'm fortunate to have basically all of my family covered either financially or coverage-wise that I have never had to wonder about paying for care as we receive it.

I don't know what feels like, and I don't ever want to know.

But I know that it exists. I worked for both Hewitt Associates and Mercer HR, two of the largest healthcare administrators in the country. The providers make, keep money and pay out to facilities, doctors and administrators when coverages can be cut. Nothing else has to be said. That's the business, literally. If you have the stomach to see this movie, see the latest SAW flick. If you have to hold your hands over your eyes and plug your ears from hearing people die in the various scenes...

Wait. No. Watch that shit. There is a message sent there.

Because no one cringes or covers their eyes when coverages disappear from your loved ones and friends. No one seems to really care if you're sitting there, blood pressure rising not because you have a medical condition, but because you're sweating over how to pay for this shit as you or momma or someone is being treated.

We have to worry about being able to afford to live. Now that's some shit right there.

Now I ain't nobody special. I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth or didn't come from money, but I don't have to worry much if and when someone in my immediate family gets sick. We have money to pay the outstanding balances, have the coverages to cover and some of us have legacy dollars going towards health care into retirement. We worked for that, and we do not want it to be taken away. Now imagine if I were some conservative cat from the other side of the tracks, never once being knee deep in the shit at the postal plant, the US Army or in a dank, sweaty call center making sales calls with NO insurance on a shitty hourly wage.

Imagine if I never had those friends and co-workers that had health care episodes. Imagine if I never had to go to the county hospital as a kid, waiting 14 hours for some fucking cough syrup for bronchitis or ampecillen for strep throat. Imagine that I never drove a truck and seen dudes out there for 7 or 8 months straight, just driving because their kid has spina bifida. This is real. This may not be the package that some desire, but the current health care adjustments (because both bills passed already) is necessary or else we will not be able to afford to survive sickness.

Having a political stance and walking lock step into a vote about the welfare of the people is an absolute wrong move. Talk about out of touch and uncaring? Like I said, it's been about 25 years since I've been in the know about these things only because I watched the cowboy president and his administration work people up against their own interests, take away regulations that would have safety netted us financially these past 20+ months or so and also break unions.

This Sunday afternoon about 2:30 pm eastern daylight time is too damn important to let roll by without 216 yea votes for approval for the Senate's revision of the health care reform bill. Keep that on your mind. It's imperative that we at least take first steps so we can afford to live.

Woulda' Coulda' Shoulda'

So a few weeks ago, someone asked me a very tough question to answer. I was asked:

When is it time to realize that age, missed opportunity and passed time has set in to the point where you just give up and stick to cubicle or factory dwelling?

I don't know how to answer this question.

I know that there are tons of us with great ideas, inventions, pending patents, internet schemes, investment opportunities, franchise thingamabobs and such that needs maybe a little time, additional funds, investment or maybe even the kids moving out to take shape, but...  I cannot imagine a scenario where I can just relax in the fact that living in my cubicle or holding my place on the factory floor is what I need to do in order to realize my dream. I know that for most of us, we understand that hard work and investment makes material things happen such as homes, fashion and vacations but this country and our mindset doesn't rather work in that manner.

Hell, I left corporate America in 2005, and I did struggle when I came over to the trucking industry. My health and access to proper and timely healthcare as well as the diet I chose hampered my ability to stay in a truck in 2006 and 2007. Once I got my shit together at the end of 07 and stayed my ass in the truck, I began to realize my potential as my own boss, which lead me to exit the rig first quarter of last year. All of the ideas I had as far as running my own business that didn't roll over the interstate formed in my head as I drove, and I wrote them down and researched my ass off during my down time at home. I decided to experiment on some of my ideas and a few small successes led to where I am now.

If I never would have met this guy that owned a handful of trucks while I was on a break during my cubicle dwelling years, maybe the motivation to branch out would have died with the thoughts and rants I used to blog about right here in this forum back in the day. I guess what I'm trying to say is no one has to be chained to a desk or slave in a more labor intensive position; I believe that we have a choice in what we want to do. If we gravitate to what we love, the money will definitely follow, it just takes dedication and follow through, right?

So, in answering that question, I must say that I don't know if I could ever give in, relegated to the fact that working for someone else is what I want to do. I could never give up on my own dreams. If the past couple of months have taught me anything, it's that worrying about outside factors and how they could prevent you from doing stuff is a total waste of time. You spend time worrying about what others say, financial factors, politics and all things external and you realize that time has gotten the best of you and your ideas have not grown, just grown older and have become outdated because your attention was focused on other stuff.

I have other things to do... There can't be time dedicated to me thinking about failure and criticisms from outside my circle. I could never give into the thought that I am too old to do anything, so I put blinders on and just keep humping into old age and death, inundated with woulda, coulda and shouldas... That to me sounds like torture from the first moment of the initial thought.

To hell with that, ya dig?

We Ain't Going Out Like That Mane...

Not by any means, even if I wanted to, I just couldn't go like that.

I realize that in some instances, I cannot take my ball and just go home. I was reminded this the other day by one special person in particular and a few from a great distance that still hold me close that both they and I blog for ourselves, and it is cathartic. It helps. It lays the mind's thought patterns out for it to re-map myself, nuff' said.

I also understand that folks that come here understand some things about my mindspill and relate them to their own. Commonality in our uncommon ground actually makes a reader or two actually overstand what the hell I share in this very public forum talking in the form of about my private shit.

I am not troubled or in a rut, I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I just didn't like being in the middle of family drama playing out while certain family members were ill, leaving me with the upkeep of caring for their immediate family member while I have my own issues to deal with minding for my own. That and work, home life, death and taxes...

I had to get the hell away and I did.

A funny thing happened on the way to NOLA last week... I stopped in Mississippi to meet a couple of dear friends. Schedules got jacked up and I ended up sitting in the sun for a spiritual moment and I got a long, quiet nap. My head started to clear.

I never wanted to write about the same things, whining and complaining every damn day. I never wanted to be on the hook for someone else's life if it wasn't my momma, pops, wife or child. I never wanted to look at my life and say that I wasn't enjoying it because I was worried about superficial things... I began to worry more about 'stuff' and less about living, so I detached.

I reopened my facebook page and looked a time or two at my twitter feed. There are quite a few folks I would absolutely lose touch with that I just don't want to if the social media thing ends for me. There are also a handful of folks no longer with us that I need to 'see' every now and again as well. Not ready to close those chapters yet, and no one can make me.

I also overstand that I myself am an intercessor for a few and I pledge to never stand down for those who need me. I absolutely cannot disappear from from those that have held me up when I was too weak to hold my own. I was wrong to shut folks out with the social media feeds, because some of y'all to include myself at times just aren't reachable by picking up the phone or walking around the corner.

I've been in New Orleans since the middle of last week and don't plan on leaving until the middle of next, and the warmer temps, the seafood po'boys and the music has rattled me back into reality in realization that certain folks spirits intertwine, and certain bonds are never broken. So I picked myself up, enjoyed my time with new, special friends and family and can now see beyond petty bullshit, family drama, healthcare reform and other political dramas based on racism as well as business dealings.

If you do what you enjoy, the money will follow. And so will the opportunities. Sometimes you just gotta break free of the self imposed restriction you've created in order to properly function with the dysfunctional.

And plus, I really enjoyed watching T-Pain's 'Freaknik' on Cartoon Network the weekend before last. I gotta cop that book: 'Behold A Pale Horse 2: The Black Donkey Edition'. Everything you need to know about the Boule, Tavis vs Rev. Sharpton, the Obama Conspiracy and whether health care reform actually passes either thru deem or reconciliation is in that book. Yeah, and if you cop that joint that from me in the next 60 minutes, I'll throw in a non water damaged bungalow waiting to be moved into somewhere in the Lower Ninth ward, right here in the NOLA. Untouched since '05.

I'm giving away free snowballs too. My ice machine is working today baby.

I Think I'm Done

• Facebook closure... CHECK
• Twitter logout... CHECK
• Blog wrap-up... CHECK

I write. A LOT. I just don't think it's anything I'd like to share anymore.

I really love where my life is at the moment. I am satisfied with things, even though I keep dealing with death and sickness. The finality and destruction of things teaches me that this is a cycle. Life itself of this plane of existence s just a circle.

I remember when I started truck driving.  I didn't have an eyeglass prescription or a GPS... I started wearing glasses and bought a GPS in 2007. A couple of years after I started seriously driving cross country, I attempted to function without my specs recently... and I couldn't.

I could not see, but I remember when I did, and very well. And I remembered when I didn't use that damned GPS to get from Jersey City to Compton... On the interstate... In a truck.

I want to go back to that.

There was a time not long ago when Blogger and Facebook did exist, but I was not in it. 

There was a time not long ago when the matriarch of my family wasn't all twisted up on her left side because she didn't have a stroke.

There was a time where I didn't have to stand with doctors and discuss me signing a DNR form.

There was a time where my mother did not see her deceased mother as much, pondering her own death.

There was a time where my wife thought she understood my heavy burden dealing with life's shit, but she really only empathized.... And never really understood.

There was a time when I just went to sleep and didn't give a minute to pondering my own death.

Death and sickness is all around me. It consumes most of my time. There is no blogging, twitter time or facebook play, although other people find way too much time to dive right in enough not to ask me about my day...

Because they avoid not only the reality of social standing, politics and fake-ass religion, they avoid the reality of the time we actually have before death or sickness drops out of the sky to get their asses.

So as much as I want to take the time and share my shit, I realize that it's only that... Shit. I mean, really... I get a good amount of hits on this forum and I even have a nice handful of folk who follow or RSS this blog and I appreciate that you stop by but... I know in the reality of things that I'm just weekday cubicle fodder for most. I help you waste away the day like a whole lot of other bloggers. While I never write to entertain a mindless mass, I thought I'd share... And I have.

Know that my life is no joke. Yours isn't either.

Since I started bloging in 2004, I've shared a lot about me. I never provided names or detailed shit out of respect to girlfriends, partners in crime, classmates, co-workers even enemies because they all deserve respect, and I feel that I have given that. I even had an relationship-esque episode that I absolutely have not talked about right around mid to late 2007 because the past is the past. Even though she brought and continually brings me up. Methinks I awakened something back in December when I made reference to some folk my wife and I dealt with that caused the innernetgossipfolk to stir some shit up. 

Funny thing is, when I'm thru with bullshit (the ordeal became a he said she said) I am thru, and this is the first time I officially actually addressed shit since that time. I'm sorry if you thought I was talking about you because I wasn't. I left that shit alone in 07' I really did. You have the right to be angry at me because I cut you off while I owed you money, but I do not owe anyone, including you an explanation. My actions were my actions, you don't have to indict my wife so get offa' that shit. You and her were truly innocent in my dealings. I did notice (because I never did look back until December when folk were EMAILING old blog passages (along with my December rants) from both me and you... Imagine that?) that you painted her and another person wrong when it is me you have the beef with. I see that you're still angry and you have a right to be. Keep them energies on me, not anyone else. I have no anger or beef with anyone because I saw through all the bullshit kinfolk told me after I got back to Chicago. And for the record, I've always thought you were cute. That one line you threw in there about not being beautiful, please cut that shit out! That is SO not cute.

See, I was involved with some folks and it turned into bullshit. I feel like since this should be my last blogpost (and that's how things got started, thru blogging) I'd address thangs. I did. That's all I got.I'm done. Bullshit has happened before. Will probably happen again to someone else. Whatever man. Might happen to your ass when you get personal in your blogging and other people try to get into your shit. I just maintain that you keep it moving. Trust me. At least no one in my current or former circles faked death to evoke emotion from the Brown Blogosphere. If you don't know about that one... My name is Bennet... And I ain't in it. Ask around and do a little research on that one. Some of y'all old heads remember that foolishness.

I think because how my life is full these days that my regular blogging thing is finished. I really feel like there isn't much for me to give these days. Maybe I'm wrong, but my writing has gotten very unfocused and all over the place, well what I've delivered here and it might be time to do other things or do things in a different manner. I love the connections I've made through this forum, and I really don't want to leave... But I feel like Twitter is a better forum for me (even though I haven't tweeted in a minute) because you only have 140 characters to get that shit right. Control seems to work better for cats like me. That and it doesn't take up too much time.

I guess this would be the time for me to announce that I have a radio show in the works, huh? Oh, and none of that BlogTalkRadio stuff... I'm talking about syndicated stuff (because money from commercial sales and affiliate marketing is real nice) that'll make me visible. I don't like the concept, but I signed on last year to an idea that is finally launching in the next quarter. Obligations.

Writing and speaking commentary are two different things, huh?

I am so shameless.

But know that what I really want to do is have more time. Time to continue travelling. Time to raise babies into adults. Time to deal with life. I gotta take care of my parents now like they have me. I have to deal with siblings like adults, very unlike freeze-tag and fake wrestling. I gotta' deal with my wife, invest more time into my equitable partnership (and let her mother know that she can only be a spectator and not a player). I have to care for the sick, fallen and the ill. I have to attend more of my classmate's funerals (one last week, another next). I have to complete my Holistic Health Practitioner designation so I can better understand how to unfat and decholesterolize (I'm making words UP in here) my family and friends as well as myself.

As much as life drags me down and burns my ASS.... I wanna' live.

And that may require less blogging and more doing... Other stuff.

I think I'm done.

I think.

.

Where The Last Shall Be First

I came across this article in the Chicago Sun-Times yesterday. I thought it was worth a re-print sort to speak. I never got Black History Week when I was a kid and I didn't get it when they made it into a month, so let's hear it from black history herself...

BY MAUDLYNE IHEJIRIKA Staff Reporter

"I have a scar on my back I got when I was a slave. . . . You got people out there with this scar on their brains. . . ." -- from the 1974 movie "The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman,'' now on DVD

Throughout this month, we asked Chicagoans and prominent visitors their thoughts on Black History Month. Most said it is still relevant, though many questioned relegating the celebration of a people's history to any specific period.

» Click to enlarge image

Ethel Darden is pictured in the 1930s (left), and on Saturday at Montgomery Place in Hyde Park, where she just celebrated her 110th birthday.

(Courtesy/John J. Kim~Sun-Times)

PHOTO GALLERY

Ethel Darden's 110th birthday

We close the month with 110-year-old Ethel Darden of Hyde Park, tied with another supercentenarian as Illinois' oldest resident.

Born in Dallas, Texas, on Feb. 17, 1900, to Ella Mary Allen and Charles Boswell, two schoolteachers, she is a pioneering educator who helped establish the city's first private, nonsectarian school for blacks, the Howalton Day School.

Founded in 1947 by her sister Doris Allen-Anderson and two other women, the school operated until 1986. It was responsible for educating many of Chicago's black elite, including the children of boxer Joe Louis, U.S. Rep. Ralph Metcalfe, historian Timuel Black, Judge R. Eugene Pincham and Mayor Eugene Sawyer.

In 1996, she donated the school's archives to the Carter G. Woodson Regional Library's Vivian G. Harsh Research Collection.

"There were five of us girls. The whole darn family became educators," said Darden, laughing as she smoothed out a brown ruffled dress with her long, slender rhinestone-ringed fingers.

"She's sweet as pie, always full of smiles and laughter," said her caretaker and close friend, Betty Miller. "She still has that southern genteel. Occasionally, she'll ask me, 'Honey, is he colored or white?' "

Darden outlived her siblings and husband, Lloyd Darden, a successful accountant she married in 1942 before the couple moved here. She lives at Montgomery Place, a retirement home staffed by University of Chicago Medical Center physicians.
Her doctor, William Dale, said he's in awe at the health of Darden, who occasionally enjoys a glass of wine.

"She has no diseases, takes no prescriptions and looks decades younger," he gushed. "And while her short-term memory is poor, her long-term memory is very intact." Darden attended Dallas Colored High School, graduated in 1921 from the historically black Wiley College in Marshall, Texas -- featured in the 2007 movie "The Great Debaters" -- taught 20 years in Dallas schools, then 40 years here.
Here's what she had to say:

"You know, sometimes I don't like to look back. It's hard enough to look front. When I think about the past too much, it knocks me down. "I came up with Jim Crow. But I didn't let it bother me. I was just living. We didn't have money, anyway, to go places they didn't want us. In the South, we knew where we could go and couldn't. Didn't have to hear them say it. It was written loud and clear, 'Whites Only.' 'For Colored.' "It was terrible what they did to black folks those days. Lynched them. Burned them. I don't want to talk too much about that.

"Dr. [Martin Luther] King came to our church. My twin sister and I sang a duet for him. I liked him. He wasn't afraid of anybody. Marched up to Washington. He asked our help. We collected money in jars at school. I did march. One time, we put on buttons to protest, marched right downtown and had breakfast. I wasn't scared.

"I honor all those who tried to make it good for us, so we could come downtown and have lunch if we wanted to. The Civil Rights Act was a great day because I felt free at last. That I could walk with my head up, that we were free to go to any school at last. I did feel good.

"Black president? Didn't think so soon, but I felt we'd eventually have a black everything. I don't like to say 'black' history. It's just history.

"I don't know why I lived so long. I never thought of it. Just tried to do my work and treat people the right way. There's a road you have to take, and you take it. It's been a good life. I wouldn't say a 'fine' life, just 'good.' Could have been worse.
"A white man is a white man. Let him be white. A black man is a black man. Let him be black. Just watch the way they treat you as a human being. Treat folks right, and respect them the way God would have you do. Let history take care of itself."

You Delight A Satellite

I got your favorite planet in my pocket

But it ain't the one you pay attention to.

I got the one that has the hue of a large chunk of amber

hold it to yours and you can see the frozen past

You keep staring at the ones that some deem official

while I keep the chiseled chunks of fallen stars

and once bright meteorites

I use a telescope in measured sight

you gravitate to moissanite

It's the measure of who you are

identify your fallen star

Pieces

Sometimes when you pick them up the dust crumbles thru your fingertips

and reform earth

even though they ain't from here.

Keep them watchful eyes to corner skies

to monitor the rise and fall of moonbeams and ultra violet rays

as I manage the dust

It's so hard to do that under the warming vibes of the sun

and the map yielding light of the one satellite 

you've always held dear

I have those now to watch over and guide me.

You delight a satellite

and dance within its vaunted rays

every day I make my way

by the light, your constant play

I close my eyes and feel your rays

when darkness falls you pave my way

Your light a constant warmth for me,

The only way I truly see.

2010 Hassan Ntimbanjayo (I just made that up) - Ya Dig?

When White Privilege Just Isn't Enough

Feb 20, 2010

I started this post yesterday. I never got around to finishing it due to having 'stuff' to do. I think being in the midwest, lacking twelve full hours of sunlight has a way of having a diminished sense of seeing things sometimes. I am happy with my life and how I am in it. Yeah, I've made hard choices, command decision and mistakes that affected not only myself but others along the way, and I am satisfied with every move I've made. It's my life and I refuse to be unhappy.

I also understand that being who I am, living in the era I live in has its... Limitations. I try hard every day to try to deal with the world as if I have none even though I know that every step I take, someone that has no clue as to how it is to walk in my shoes puts a tiny pebble of doubt, hate, misunderstanding or prejudice in my pocket. By the time I get home from my day's journey, I have the equivalent of a quarry by the way of my trousers.

I never asked for it. Neither did my grandfather or his grandfather, but it has been given to us and we still carry it. Never have I asked anyone who hasn't ever driven down my block to come there because I know that they cannot stomach the bullshit, but it is spoon fed there, so the expectations of men who look like me are low. Results contrived for the solutions to the world's problems are unexpected, dividends aren't even considered to be yielded unless I can score touchdowns or hit jumpshots.

But I'm 40 now and there isn't a market for me. Well, it isn't that large. Never has been, even though some of us have climbed through open windows of opportunity and have made impact. The fact remains that there are no expectations for us. It is the mark of the attitude of living with and whithin the status quo, even though we have so much to offer. 

We should be angrier. We should hold a grudge one million times more than we already have. The atrocities committed against those that look like me that has happened in MY lifetime...

And I'm not supposed to ask for reparations

I'm not supposed to bring certain conversation up

I'm not supposed to want apologies

I'm not supposed to feel the pain of all of my lost mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters, sons and daughters

I'm supposed to just smile and take it, forgiving the sons and daughters 

And we do.

We just take it.

And we act like it never happened.

And then when the TV gets turned on to the nightly news, we see a brand new form of a very old version of an anger so horrid that it reminds me of the days where it was common place to see another me swinging from a tree.

And I believe that just the sight of our current sitting president causes such a feeling.


When White Privilege Just Isn't Enough  - 2/19/2010



I've been black my whole life.

I've been a witness to a lot of travesty.

I've had to live in a world... No, a country where folk are shunned from keeping it real. I mean it's looked down upon and for some, it's downright disrespectful to bring certain stuff up in conversation. I would have never made it growing up in the Jim Crow or Civil Rights Era.

The truth is the truth and unfair is unfair.

This country was founded on rebellion, slavery and developing stolen land from the native peoples. This country has also thrived on military might, racism and a class based system that pits the middle against the lower, leaving the upper to prosper in the brokering of the class wars. To watch the utter arrogance of the American people as we speak against the development of other nations... To watch how we police the world so no other nation can gain equal footing burns my ass when just a few days ago the men who murdered Sean Bell...

Never mind about that.

What we're all witnessing these days is not the elimination, but the decline of white privilege. The country as a whole is taking a new shape by the numbers and those who had the unspoken privileges and graces in the past are getting balanced out in more ways that one.

I cannot finish this because of how I feel right now. There is an anger that I feel coming from parts known that feel like the stuff I've seen from the horrid past. Fear, trepidation xenophobia and finger pointing because there is someone else sitting in the office of power and certain folk just can't stand it.

They are angry and upset because for a few scant hours in their lives they have almost been made to live like we have for ages. It ain't everybody but... It's enough to take notice.


You know:
None of my family ever brought guns to a health care rally.
No one I know flew an airplane into a Federal use building.
I've used the N-word before, but to my knowledge, I haven't replaced it with the word 'Socialist'

It might be high time I got on my horse to warn the folks to start clinging onto their guns and religion

incomplete 2/19

Ask Yourself

I really enjoyed my weekend.
My sister and brother in law brought the kids in from Dallas and we all gathered together to celebrate my brother's twin son's birthday by hanging out at an indoor water park. Good times were had and great, laughable stories were made this weekend. I can't wait to hang out again with my sibs this summer when we trek to Disney in Florida.

This past weekend was a pre-vacation for my other half and I. I think I mentioned that we're headed to the Bayou in a bit for a real two weeker of alligator, coffee and beignets as well as a whole bunch of etouffee. Lord, I can't wait for that. Things have been real busy around here and it would be nice to just get to a nice spot and experience a little slow and quiet. Chicago will tax your friggin' brain and overrun you with business if you let it.

I have absolutely nothing to say about Chris Matthews, Dick Cheney or John Mayer. I need folks to ask themselves a few real questions that actually matter like:

• Why are black and brown folk so damn affected by the so-called recession?

• Why are black and brown folk seemingly 'just taking' the negative results of current opinion polls as well as managing the negative outcomes of labor employment statistics?

• Is it just me or does it feel like there is some stagnant waiting period going on right now in minority communities?

• Why isn't there more reactionary activity taking place in our communities?

• Where the hell are the proactive lobbies, and why aren't they addressing congress?

• Why exactly did we wait for so-called black leadership to address the president last week when the pressing socio-economic elephant in the room has always been there?

Instead of placing blame on all things external (like calling John Mayer racist last week), where are the ideas and actions that would bring forth the necessary change to actually move people ahead? I'm seeing a lot of folk sitting on their hands right now and I don't understand why.

There seems to be a lot of folk running and hiding from the issues when it seems to be the time to asses and reassess what seats need to be filled in congress both on the federal and state levels. If folks like Senator Evan Bayh have become totally discouraged in the federal legislative process, then who should become candidate to fill that seat?

From Gary to Indianapolis to Evansville and all parts between, the state of Indiana has tons to lose in funding, jobs and farm support if the wrong person is chosen to rep there.  I mean, from the steel, iron and manufacturing personnel needed for the bridge and road repair that our president's administration got off the ground to the high speed rail project, Indiana has a lot to loose...

And there are 10 other states that can use the right candidate to get the job done with job creation and with repositioning federal dollars to provide for workforce payroll instead of unemployment benefits and the like.

We must eliminate the thought process that we must continue along with the status quo. There are a ton os 'isms' that are still in effect if we continue thinking along these lines. What is happening with the thinking process and how we're coping with them is NOT okay.

What am I talikg about? Ask Keith Olbermann and then ask yourself.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

You got an answer?