Entitlement

I had no intention of posting anything until next week.

The past two weeks were supposed to be some sort of a blogcation for me, but it has been a learning experience for those outside of the circle. Me? Not much. I can't say that I'm surprised about anything that has happened in our recent past.

I've sat back, held my tongue politically by not writing about this kind of stuff here on the blog and watched us as Americans feed off of the festering nectar of entitlement and arrogance for damn near a year. At this point I can no longer just sit and watch.

I heard Larry Elder say on Larry King Live the other night that Massachusetts has a black governor, Cambridge has a black mayor and America has a black president. And this is the reason racial profiling just doesn't exist in 2009, especially anywhere near Harvard University.

I also heard and read a lot from Americans that either Dr. Skip Gates was wrong in the way he handled how officer Crowley unlawfully entered his home, baited him to come outside of said home and then arrested him.

I also see a bunch of folks on the regular from the campaign to election, to inauguration to present totally disrespect the office of the President of the United States based on their dissatisfaction on who is currently sitting in office.

The disrespect of certain leaders, political figures and even comedians is at an all time high and what I do not see or hear from the disenfranchised affected is, well... Anything.

I'm also watching how a bunch of people that look a lot like me have the money, opportunity, ability and skill to know and then apply said knowledge do absolutely nothing to move ahead. Must be the standard American diet. Just like all of the backs some of our successful folk have climbed on and over to get where they are, no one currently is laying down to let more of our folk climb on them so wan can get more folk 'up there'.

It seems to me that we just keep looking up. Staring into the sun will make that ass go blind, ya know?

It seems to me that the entitlement, arrogance and good ol' boy networking that happened in 1959 is going on stronger than ever in 2009, and that the lessons from the entitled have really set into the children and grandchildren very well. There are young folk working within society that actually want what certain folk had in that opportunity, networking and (there's that word again) entitlement within the same rule and law structure that prevailed fifty years ago.

That means racism, classism and entitlement are very much alive and well here in America. The problem is that my people are so pacified and distracted that we care not to speak on it. Like the dollar menu is just fine while others still get surf and turf, and it ain't even Thursday.

Now we're the racists. We're the arrogant ones. We now cannot appreciate the post-racial society we live in. We're the anti-Americans. Our leaders fight for absolutely the wrong thing. You may not like the Rev. Al Sharpton for whatever reason or another, but how could you even part your lips to disrespect the man that will jump in front of the bullet for his people, agitate a situation (whatever it may be, opportunistic or otherwise) when all you are willing do is sit and criticize because it might mess up your divvy of the table scraps.

And you ain't jumping in front of that bullet for your people because... You don't know them. And did you know that all you entitled to get are table scraps?

You can have more. But a bunch of folk are scared, and you know what I say:

A scared negro will get you killed.

Have You Seen Me?

Is Now A Good Time? If Not, When?

I like the information and the visuals that Sprint gives us in advertising and explaining it's "now network"

• Right now there are 14,500 people texting their significant others
• Right now nearly half of them are breaking up with each other
• And little do you know it, a third of them are sending text porn

If you're made to understand correctly then you know that most folk crave a fast mobile network that can get them the latest info not fast, but right now. Verizon also has a new series of commercials where potential customers are saddened and frustrated because the ability to access facebook and twitter on their current network is impossible due to not having the proper smart phone, network and support, so they get them up to speed by providing them with the new technological gear.

Sound cool, right?

The ability to access social networks and variations of blogs and news sites seems to put us in the know as far as being in the right places and knowing exactly what to do, how to act an what to buy but, what happens when there is all of the right information provided to you, all of the technology to have at our fingertips to utilize and we still fail to be responsible in our actions?

What am I talking about?

Scenario one:

A random celeb is spotted at a club or restaurant having a romantic evening with someone other than their spouse. Using the 'now network' a bevy of camera enabled cellphones send candid pics to friends, relatives and gossip/blog/social networking sites. The press picks up on this type of activity due to phone calls made and or email and texting. Paparazzi shows up either hidden to get the good money shot for magazine/online publishing or just confronts said celeb and shoots a scoop story to be ran to the highest bidding publisher. As a result, word has been spread, evidence provided and buzz (revenue) is generated by calls/text/email/bandwidth used/photos taken using all of the modern marvels of technology we have in our pockets, purses and desk/laptops today.

But the real question is this: Could something have been done to prevent certain celebs from getting caught up in adverse situations by someone in the network? So many have spotted folks in situations that compromised their celebrity, relationships, business and overall public perception. Is it our business to act upon so-called adverse actions performed by celebs and non-celebs alike in attempts to do the right thing when technology is involved?

Did Steve McNair have to die?

With all of the technology involved surrounding his actions in recent months, can we say with all certainty that what happened was a surprise? A lot of folks close to the situation are saying that they were out of the loop and of course some could be covering their own asses but...

Gossip sites, news agencies, private citizens and law enforcement knew aspects of McNair's actions meaning folks are willing to get in one's business and put it over the network but aren't willing to intervene when things go awry. Seeing how quickly the so-called back story got out over the network after his death, it seemed that a lot of people knew something. To bad they were not a part of the same network, they could have called or texted each other and...

Whatever, I guess.

What about Michael Jackson?

Now that so much valuable information has come out via the internet/media/social networks, couldn't that love that's being poured out in enormous amounts been the fodder for someone to jump in front of the King and pull an intervention? I love the king. Always have and was never ashamed to admit that he was the best of the best. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that his public memorial is tomorrow, but... It really seems that a lot of love for the King didn't manifest until the rumors had been confirmed of his demise. With the exception of his passionate fans, I just wish that the remaining global groundswell could have happened before what ever it was that caused his cardiac arrest well, caused it. It seems that from camera phone photos to email accounts and texts (as well as publicly available receipts) and phone calls from his inner circle, the world knew that Michael had a problem. We probably let that problem manifest into what it is now, a memorial service.

What about the ignorant?

I watch a Ustream channel with my favorite Hip Hop DJ and its a 24 hour thing. I observed a guest DJ last night perform in what was to be a 2 hour show preempt himself from spinning tunes to bad mouth Al Sharpton and his efforts to console and counsel the Jackson family. He also made it very clear that he was upset to the point of violence that Rev. Sharpton and Jay-Z made the decision in Chris Brown not performing at the BET Awards. I stopped watching after he got 30 words into his rant. A lot of people made claims to the point where the internet, social networks and mobile networks were abuzz with both info, misinformation and innuendo about this matter. Did anyone do any research? Where is the responsibility in what we put over the network?

Wait... Dude had the technology to broadcast a live show over the same medium he has access to but never researched anything in the seven days that passed since that award show?

C'mon...

It seems some folk only use the "now network" to get worked up now and again with gossip, bad intel and such, but when it comes to viable, proven information gained in real time that probably needs some adressing... Well we seem to drop the ball and fail to act. I know that there is a balancing act with folk trying to stay out of folks business, but as it is in my case as a blogger who puts some harsh (to you) stuff out there, sometimes the stuff that gets putout there warrants concern.

I know that and accept that. I just wish that more of us see other situations with the same concern.

Based on what we know now, would it have seemed right to have intervened in the above mentioned situations? What about the countless other situations that have not made the news wires?

What good is living in the "now network" when we only react out of sadness and despair... Later?

Why have all of this futuristic fodder made purposely on bringing the world closer and keeping us in touch if it's not used responsibly? Who's responsibility is it for proper research? Who fact checks this stuff? What good is information now and how does it affect us when more info will be available with better technology coming down the pipe?

Early Sunday Words

So I get texts first from my fam in Nashville...

And then the internet blows the hell up...

And then, the tele-news agencies.

Steve McNair?

Damn.


I was just going to do a post about a very cool video game jawn that highlights the black college football experience, starring Doug Williams and having input from cats like Steve (who attended Alcorn State). If y'all really know me, then you know that my wife is an alum of an HBCU and about my love of the shawties attending HBCUs. Stuff like the only time I'll contribute to my frat and sorors is when there is something in conjunction with traditionally black colleges and universities... That I was set to contribute to something that brother McNair was going to be a part of later this summer...

Damn again.

I m not afraid of death. Dude is working overtime, that I know. I am not afraid of his ass either, and I welcome him at that because this shit right now on this plane... Is booty, so I understand why all of our artisans and do gooders are being taken, leaving us here to deal with the reality that the chosen few has created, costing the 'others' to pay such a hefty price just to live in mental and spiritual poverty.

Some of y'all need to meditate that last statement I just made. I'm like a Klingon up in this piece, I really, truly feel at this point that today is a good day to die. Sunday is cool, even though I'm looking forward to that cruise later on this week.

Some of y'all can't make that statement, and as I'll never pass judgement on another human being... I just know that my thang is solvent in the spirit. I'll never ask if yours is because I don't care. That ish in on you.

As far as my marriage is concerned (lean in and read this with scrutiny), things are what they are. We communicate sometimes, other times we don't. That's pretty human to me and I care not what is thought from her perspective if she ain't game to share with me. That just is what it is. I had a couple of friends come at me with concerns in the past couple of days asking if I was happy or if I even wanted in on this marriage thing. let me say this:

Marriage is a choice. You make the decision on what you want to live with, deal with and what you're willing to take. If your ish is tight and solvent, congratulations and good luck and many blessings to you and yours in the future. My shit ain't so... Deal with that how you must. I appreciate the concern but if you ain't in my house dealing with what I and she has to deal with then hey. I don't need help. We both know that this thing is a choice. This is what it is and we'll deal with each other accordingly, and even though there is hope from a lot for the success in our partnership, know that it may end tomorrow.

We both may choose to go in another direction. It matters not which way this thing goes because we will adjust and live accordingly.

I am emotionally attached to this woman but that can change based on choice. That's real. I will no longer spend my time looking at next week when I have to deal with what's going on today, and right now, my wife and I have different agendas that can end our union sooner than later, and I am happy with whatever happens from this point. Michael Jackson lived no more than 10 years or so from where I am now, and I'm not as healthy as he was before his passing... Steve McNair was younger than me and he lived an entire NFL career and had a marriage and family well more defined than where I am now which teaches me...

Live this thing for RIGHT NOW.

And if I feel that right now I'd rather be single and free and she does as well... Then don't judge me or my wife.

You only have so much time on this plane to accomplish ish and get things done. I know that. The two of us are doing all we can to do in what we want to do by just doing that, and it's fun doing that regardless of how we feel about either continuing our marriage or ending it. She is my best friend and from what I know about that... Sometimes friends are just that... Friends. Romance isn't always involved, but we try in our friendship to take things further than just friendship because there is intimacy there.

The work comes in wanting to achieve the same goals, and that ish might take time or we might bail if we never get on the same page. I don't need to have what other folks have for me to enjoy life. I live with the notion that life is too short to waste time, so I optimize and strategize with everything I do. I never had too much time to begin with, so... Whatever. Get out the friggin way! I got stuff to do.

I'm more callous than romantic
I'm more military than civilian
I'm more in tuned with death than with life in being endgame... Death has been so certain with me and mine, so I have a more defined value of time in life than others cause you cant beat death
I'm more experience driven than based in the physical or material
I'm not religious... At all. There are so many things I do NOT believe
I am more about trial and error... One learns in every experience

So this week, we drive to the Grand Canyon, and then off to Vegas for damn near a month, if we can agree on it... If not, then whatever man. I'm game for anything these days. The passing of young, vibrant people that actually contributed to a legacy of good should tap that as with the fact that your ass ain't promised tomorrow, so do something about it.

If I hear that your ass died on the friggin couch watching TV, then whatever. You can catch me climbing rocks later this week.

You Just Gotta Watch Something Crumble That'll Make You Feel Better About Your Crumbling Mess, Now Don't Cha?

I don't know how I made it through the weekend.

I really don't .


I accept death as a part of life, and I do not mourn the dead. I look forward to celebrating life like they do in the Bayou, so... As much as MJ's funeral will add closure to a moment I thought I would NEVER see, I am looking to take the time to celebrate his life, contributions to the world and that music of his. I will never get tired of listening and sanging with him...

I also have an initiative I want the world to complete with me on his birthday:

On his birthday two monts from now, I would love the world to find a sequined glove, some glittery-assed socks, a MJ themed T-Shirt and if you can, either a Thriller, Beat It or Billie Jean jacket and rock it to the workplace, school or just around the way for the entire day. I have spoken to the shyest, most introverted folk, some thug cats and a few conservative mutha effers and they all agree... Nothing can stop this bum rush. Michael Jackson changed the world and it would be fitting for us to pay tribute and make it a yearly habit. You have 2 months and you have been warned...

Enough about the King...

I am not looking forward to the next leg of my trip. You see, I cannot get past what happened between the wife and myself this past weekend. See, wifey thinks that we have our WHOLE LIVES on the internet. I don't think that this is the case. She thinks that there is something certainly wrong with the world all up in our business when I can tell her factually that the world ain't giving one big shit about us.

Where it is cathartic to let things go in the method I do, none of y'all with the exception of a small, chosen few actually know what the hell is going on in our household minus the various photos and blogposts that I do, and what you see, hear, view and read about isn't even one eighth of what our lives are or are about. If I could reveal more than I would, but I think what I'm giving is just about enough. based on conversations with some in my inner circle and those that just found about my blog and just started lurking via facebook, they wish to know more and know how my other half and I are doing so well in the face of adversity.

That could be the joke of the week to me, because seriously, I believe I am at the point where I could either be at my most destructive in reacting to the bullshit that is happening in my so-called marriage or I could just walk the fuck away.

And it was funny hearing the comments from some folk that were at my 20th year high school reunion jawn... Seeing that most of the folk that had an opinion had only read up a couple of months on my ass on facebook where there isn't much info than there is here on me/us.

Whatever. But...

See, I cannot live a lie, a life based on lies or lies about my life according to a series of lies based on keeping other lies suppressed. This is what I'm dealing with right now. I have to make a decision on how I want to live the rest of my life and I cannot lie about how, who and where I want to do that based on what other people think of my stank ass. Their opinion has never mattered when I write a check to pay the car note, so why should it matter now?

I can give lees than a fuck about what family and friends say or think about what I'm doing to save my shit. Furthermore, I know for a fact that certain folk ain't really rocking their shit as well as perceived as well, so I urge those that have an opinion to stay up out of my shit and enjoy the website, videos and posts relating to how I deal with mine.

My shit ain't as cool as the other side of the pillow as some may think, and the reason I decided to pull the plug on rent, car notes and utilities was to make it easy to walk the hell away if our self counseling did not work. I can walk away from this relationship if I am not successful in exhausting all of our possibilities and am willing to document that shit and share certain points with the world, are you?

I don't think so because some of y'all just cannot walk away. Drama, credit and financial issues and downright fear of what another mutha effer might say, momma, best friend or otherwise is holding you to choice that ain't making your ass happy. Do not project your drama on me. If this relationship ends, it will be based on logic and common sense. All marriages aren't supposed to last and at least I'm doing the dirty work in finding out if mine is one of those I just spoke on.

My shit ain't perfect, and I feel that after our little exercise I will know for sure if this is exactly where I want to be. My wife definitely has different desires than mine, and there seems to be an issue with compromise in making certain things happen. One thing is for sure, there will be no family expansion to try to save my marriage. That is an asinine thing to do when one's love and support are questioned in the fist place. Why bring an innocent child into play? I am not going to purposely create a life just to fuck that life up mentally and emotionally. I will not see a son go wrong in this society or a daughter swing around a pole because of mommy-daddy issues.

So for those asking about children... Sit down, eat your slice of pizza and be quiet. I have to have a solvent relationship before I even consider children.

As far as the road trip is concerned, we supposed to be headed to the Grand Canyon and then Vegas next week, but we have to see if that is actually going to happen. Business interests and the willingness to be in the same place at the same time exists between her and I. If we do head out, then it will be one hell of a road trip that I hope to get some video of that's for sure.

It seems that both of our true sense of duty, purpose and responsibility is coming into play now that the rooms to run to and the doors to slam have been eliminated. But that's why I suggested this thing in the first place.

Oh, and don't worry... All things happen for good reasons. I can say for sure that I ain't neither mad nor disappointed about how things are panning out.

But I am a little tiffed on how we let the Supreme Court get their anal rape of the American people on before they ended session yesterday... You don't know, look it up... Precedent has been set and you should know about it before engaging in conversation with my reading/learned ass.

I took the time to check it out between reading and watching news coverage of the death of the King... What in the hell did you do this weekend?

The King Is Dead. Long Live The King

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Nothing Doing... Leave A Message

Nothing doing on the blogging front.

We did update the Herz and Hiz site.

I did upload a new You Tube video.

We do plan on getting out today.

It's supposedly our next to last day in Atlanta.

We plan on doing 'stuff' and snapping more pix.

Oh, and it's our 18 month anniversary.

See you around, okay?

It's A Manic Monday, Mane!

Good Monday Morning...

The barometer on the freedom level is fair to midland today.

I spent much of my weekend watching the goings on in Iran and all I really have in criticisms is a shoulder hunch. I mean, I am concerned with the handling of human life and I am sorry so many have to go thru so much, but... It is a part of the process of progress.

After witnessing so many over here, in this country, in this nation, in my home town, in my neighborhood, on my block, doors next to or down die from absolutely nothing by the hand of their own or an agent of either the municipality, county, state or government, I understand exactly what is happening. The imprisonment of the innocent and politically polarizing to further the agenda of the status quo is commonality personified where I live. We continue to act like we have learned and moved on from our mistakes, transgressions and purposeful actions based on racism, sexism, financial gain and nationalism when that is exactly what we want. The opposite. We continue to yearn for the biased activities that gave us what our parents told us was comfort in our childhood when we know now as adults that everything we felt comfortable about as children was based on a lie.

So watching what video, pictures and commentary makes it out of Iran continues to add to the realization that nothing is what we want. We are truly the 85 that Clarence 13X theorized us to be.

The same folk that revolted in the past and got good off the takeover are the ones making haste to make change impossible for those that yearn for the revolt in the now.

But anyway...

I did spend Sunday afternoon/evening holding court with The Original Oldgirl LadyLee. We had fun yapping and munching on superior cooked goodies over at the Whole Foods joint over in Mid-Town ATL. It was cool hanging out and just discussing everything and talking bout' nothing for a handful of hours yesterday. We have definitely gots to do that again.

Did I mention that she makes one hell of an oatmeal/walnut/raisin cookie. They were leftovers from an engagement she had from he day before, but it didn't matter. I volunteer my stomach for the leftover shelf any day of the week, cause I loves me some oatmeal anything cookies.

Good looking out Oldgirl... We gots to do that again.

Today is a moving day. Still in the greater Atlanta area for the moment. Things will happen in the near future that will determine exactly the when and where my other half and I will be.

All I got right now. Be easy in them cubicles, shawty.

At What Cost?

Change...

But at what cost?

At the beginning of the year, I had no clue that I... We would be where we are geographically, but we are here. I planned on doing some work to enhance the office space in our home and was really looking forward to popping over to US Cellular Field (home of the 2006 Word Champion Chicago White Sox - Cub fans can kick rocks!) more than a few times to see ballgames, enjoying the newness of my recently gentrified neighborhood.

I also thought that whatever it was that was holding my marriage together would become more solvent over time.

I was wrong.

After purging the records and saw that our spending was out of control and realizing that this was closely related to our relationship not being under control, I decided to take action. I had a plan. It seems that now my plan might be sabotaged by change.

Change on address.
Change of mind.
Change of opinion.
Change in direction.
Change in focus.

And no change of the status quo.

I was reading LadyLee's blog post yesterday dealing with settling and not making the adjustment based on what you want. It is a given that you'll never get what you want in life some of the time, others you might get too much of what you want, and that might be a bad thing. I struggled to comment after reading that post, the Oldgirl went on and reminded those that read regularly and really put the dooski wooski on anyone just stopping by for the first time about how she just went with the flow with dude for 5 years not getting much of what she wanted in a man but out of familiarity she stayed the course, eventually marrying this cat.

Damn.

Was the market that damn bad or was staying put that damn stable (in bullshit, mind you) that she felt the need to stay in it for that damn long? That made me ask myself if my marriage is anywhere near that status. Now mind you, when she realized that her future would be worse than what her present was handing to her, she gathered the courage, strength and wherewithal to get up and walk away. Far, far away.

So after waiting all day to pick my other half up from the airport I suggested that she read this post because I really wanted to ask her if she felt as if she settled.

I asked.

She answered.

Regardless of how she answered and what she said, I wish I never asked because now I know the truth. It doesn't even matter what she said in her reply to my initial question, all I know is that change needs to come sooner than later, but at what cost? I mean, I did what I did a few weeks ago to save my marriage and look at opportunities that would benefit both of us.

But sometimes unleashing extreme measures to solve one problem can open one's self up to a myriad of other problems.

It just doesn't seem to stop.

I guess I'm the only one around here that realizes that we only have one shot at this thing called life on this plane of existence. I'm only running into a few others that actually realize that there is no redo, especially if one takes a holding pattern to make the important decisions in life.

That's why things are the way they are.

There are those that know that they only have that one shot and do whatever it takes to make life worth it, there are others that continue to question their own situation, doing nothing to solve their problems and those that seem lost in life and end up drowning in it, making life a wasted resource awarded by The Creator to the absolute wrong person.

Sometimes it takes lessons learned, the exploration of learned behavior and then acting to correct the crooked shit in order to make things the way it's supposed to be. I'm gradually finding out which one of those persons I am by self realization and who I purported to be by others with little or no additional thought given to what makes me who I am.

Living among anger and confusion will only make you angry and confused, distracting you from what you were really put here to do, leaving your imprint with no impact.

I'm starting to relate with that last statement.

A Good Monday Afternoon Update

Hey young world...

The weather in Atlanta has been the best by far. High 80s and low 90s since we got here, and I ain't complaining. Chicago's weather has sucked since we left, but it does seem that summer will finally set itself in the Midwest.

We had to make some changes to our plans since we embarked on our little journey. We haven't started the detox as of yet. No worries though, we're still working on the meat and potatoes of the original plan. Things aren't going as planned as far as our eating plan, but I am a little satisfied in how things are going so far.

It seems that we just couldn't get out of Atlanta without testing the job market. We have some good prospects down here and it might lead to us sticking around and actually becoming ATLiens, we'll just see about that. A close friend told us of her bouts with racism and marginalization as well as undervalue during her time at Spelman College and that has stuck with me as we search the real estate market and set up interviews here in the city. A small warning buzz keeps going off in my head and it was this sister's stories that keep setting them off.

That and the murder scene we had to drive thru last week on the way back from the drive-in.

I've visited this city many times before as a young man serving in the military during the late eighties and early nineties, I've traveled to Georgia during undergrad and have driven thru, interviewed for jobs and just plain vacationed as well as visited first cousins that I have on both sides of the family with no incident. Not just in Atlanta but in Macon, Augusta and Columbus. Most soldiers go thru basic combat training in Ft Jackson, SC and I only served in signal corps units during my stint in the Army, so Ft Gordon, GA was a given. Escape to Charlotte, Augusta and Atlanta was a must when you had a little leave piled up and every time I've traveled to these cities especially Atlanta, I always have good memories and remember getting treated with respect.

So why am I concerned with the police state that I feel folks are in down here?



You may have noticed that I'm talking bout' our trip over here and not the site we set up a few weeks ago. Well, I'm having server, sitebuilding and content issues that prevents me from doing much right now. I plan on spending the next few days addressing it and I also have to convince my other half to participate. She doesn't want to be videoed after initially agreeing and it seems funny that after giving me one new post to put on the site she hasn't even asked about the status or the fate of the site and hasn't even questioned why I haven't informed her on such when I am such a micro manager of everything else. Oh well. That doesn't mean that we aren't sticking to the plan, that just means that we're only partially recording it and it would definitely show as lazy or something if we didn't have site issues. But I believe I can fix that in due time.

I have been doing extensive research on partnering with fellow blogger Terry and bringing a radio show to the masses. More on that in the future.

I'm just in awe with the media on how certain folks are being held to different standards:

• Did anyone list how much each individual Air Force One trip cost other presidents and the tax payers? Oh, especially that one (doing my best John McCain)... You know, the one that flew to Crawford, Texas damn near every weekend?
  

• Did anyone else hear the 'knocked up' jokes about Bristol Palin from Bill Maher, Jay Leno and others? Where did statutory rape come into play? Letterman fired petitions. Really?
  

• I believe public figures are fair game critically. But is anyone else outraged about the Ape/Michelle Obama/lineage comment?

• I don't need to see the 'black of your ass' to lust after you. I also don't need to see all of your tetas minus the areola and nipple to feel your sex vibe. I also don't need to know what color your thong is, so stop pulling it up like that. A muffin top with a muffin gut? Please.

• You know the World Cup is in South Africa next year, right?

• If you know anything about predatory lending and the new 'sub prime' loans then you would know (or think) that civil rights groups like the NAACP are still relevant... Right?

• You can't be serious complaining about someone else's presidential election being rigged. Sit down, eat your slice of pizza and be quiet.
  

Have a great afternoon/evening. More tomorrow, I guess.

Critical Mass

It wasn't hard to wait.
It wasn't difficult to just observe from a distance.

Back in October, I had my issues with folks on the lower level of the Obama campaign. As I didn't want to deal with that mess, I walked away. Politics inside of politics I expected, I just thought that maybe I could cut thru the weeds and contribute in some way, shape, form or fashion. After going what I went thru, I couldn't do what I wanted to do but let me say this... After both my wife and myself going thru, completing and 'graduating' from Camp Obama as well as networking and putting in some work shortly after the campaign training I knew that our current president would indeed beat Senator McCain. The grass roots grew entirely too deep and I realized how many people from many backgrounds really waned change.

After a twenty two year old sister spoke to us on the last day of training expressing to us how she basically lived out of her suitcase and assisted then Senator Obama with just about everything one could logistically provide and receiving a key administrative position should the senator win the November election, I actually heard the brains of certain folks working in attempts to secure future employment with the administration, and that's when nepotism, favoritism, frat and soror ties and just plain old self whoring began to taint my participation process. Certain folks straight up held volunteers at bay and gave friends and family the paying and reciprocal positions in the campaign, fronting on hard working folk like myself that took time out of their family and work schedules to help the then candidate win.

So I took two steps back and waited. And watched. And continued to work my Camp Obama network to actually see who wold make the cut and move to DC or move into the strategic positions throughout the nation that David Plouffe and others designed for a deeper network when it came to getting policy onto the streets, internet and on TV and talk radio. I asses that about 35% of those willing to sell their momma out ended up with jobs, political stroke and other positions with churches, non profit organizations and community based groups looking to strike gold to receive federal funding, get grants and business loans and (low on certain totem poles) actually help now President Obama get his brand of policy out and affect public opinion which should affect all levels of Congress regardless of which house or political party and get items passed and made law, thus making real change.

Folks got jobs. Others got positions. Others padded their resume. Some even got elected to posts regardless of level (municipal, county, state or fed) and others have great stories to tell at barber and beauty shops all over this great land. But there underlies the problem:

After damn near seven months of seeing a new regime formulate and take control and after only four real months of an actual Obama Administration, there is a serious backlash and stinging criticism from those right of center politically, racists and some from the religious fundamentalist groups regarding the look, feel, color, citizenship, appointments and policy of our first African American president. And sine the year began, there have been calls to take action from these entities and in my own words, this shit is starting to get foul.

There have been cries for the failure of a presidential administration. There has been blame in certain folks from all political parties for the failure of the financial institutions and real estate market. There have been warnings that certain folk in Washington since January 20 are plotting for the destruction of the 'American Way'. Worst of all, there have been acts of domestic terrorism from folks claiming to be from the religious right, forewarned from the Department of Homeland Security that our newest and current Secretary of that branch had to apologize about to Republicans on the Hill because some felt that the warnings insulted a certain branch or hard working Americans.

Since January 20, two major acts of domestic terrorism have occurred, both by American citizens, both in the name of God and in ethnic purity and in the spirit of Nationalism. The latter happening less than one mile from the White House.

You already know what happened, no need to re-hash it.

My question is: Where is our critical mass?

You know, the groundswell of support, outrage, protest and agreement or disagreement with acts and events that will obviously affect our immediate future?

Even I jumped on the election bandwagon, championing candidate Obama and even supporting measures from candidate McCain, before I got on my soapbox last year I weighed heavily the rhetoric and fact from both major candidates and even held the flame for certain ones beaten in the primaries. I was active, supportive and hit the streets talking to folks about what they wanted in a new administration in Washington. We had a little more money and my 401k was still existent, but everyone kind of sort of knew that there would be an economic downturn, so we were doing things about it. The election played big with so many. Now, there is absolutely no grass root opinion or action coming from anywhere.

Even I warned folk on this very blog that someone would take arms under the guise of supporting the second amendment and would probably do something stupid. I don't blame that on the right. I have friends and family that think and act according to a conservative brand of principles (Hey Jon!) and I have no beef with them or those that support lawmakers that pursue their agenda. I also have folks on the left that I don't have animosity against, and I also have no qualms with the liberal lawmakers. I do take exception with the bloggers, the radio hosts, the so-called TV journalists or personalities that push a bullshit agenda.

Those from the left are boring folks to sleep, ranting and raving about some economic utopia to come when there are fewer and fewer jobs, tighter credit and folks are losing their homes. The ones from the right criticize and predict gloom and doom with every democratic move from the legislative and executive branch. Others get on the very same internet and spew hate, gossip, rumor and innuendo.

Now we got folks peeking innuendo. And everybody has a bible and a gun. (Hey Mr. Brown!)

Maybe it's just the fact that the wife and I are living in Atlanta, the place where groundswell and critical mass were innovated thru the civil rights movement, I dunno. Maybe because the current Supreme Court nominee, the current Secretary of State and the current Republican Revolution in Congress will affect how folks see their civil rights beyond 2009. Maybe because everyone will either lose, have already lost or will lose their job will create a downturn in esteems and create a rise in nationalism reminiscent of decades past that our generations have only read about but never seen.

It is predicted that in the last days there will be rampant spread of simple disease that will have the power to kill. There will be financial ruin which leads to an internal meltdown of the most powerful nations. The acceptance of one world leader with enough charisma and trustworthiness to turn believers away from God. The elimination of the elimination of war, which means there is an ongoing fight with no real purpose (well, your cousin or nephew will be shipped off and will probably die in combat). That brother will kill brother because of famine. Politicians and leaders bankrupt of morals will lead us astray. If all of this seems to be a half-ass honest assessment, then why are you just sitting there doing nothing?

There should be some sort of critical mass. There isn't one. Who will protect us from the blowback of the most recent election and the administration built from it? Where are the people?

There should be a grass roots campaign to recruit folks to revolt from the current revolution, leading me to think that the term critical mass is more in line with its scientific definition.

What say you?

Whatever...

It has been seven days since we left Chicago

I am having the damndest time tinkering with the fixings of that damn web site.

My other half doesn't want to be videoed and hasn't taken many pictures.

I am really wishing that I never announced that we were attempting to blog this process.

Leaving...

About a month ago I got mad.

I mean, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I couldn't walk around the house without either sniping at my wife or having her snipe at me. I would go downstairs and just be. It's quiet down there, and I likes me some quiet.

I watched my parents split up not over his impending narcotic problem, that actually brought us closer. I was in high school and I really didn't care one way or the other. My father proved after rehabbing himself that he could still be daddy to my younger sibs who were 10 years my junior. Every family has their problems, and I saw my parents start their split whenever they argued over money.

That's our problem now. We argue, and $ is our excuse to cuss each other.

I remember 2 and a half years ago over the phone my then girlfriend told me that the only thing that would have her leave me should we get married is if we fell out over money. It didn't surprise me that we started looking at the front door when we started having financial problems like everyone else. We made money, saved some and spent the rest, paying our bills somewhere in the middle. I preached fiscal conservatism on our drive to New Orleans the week of Mardi Gras, but my pleas to come back to Chicago with a little spending cash in our pockets went unheard. I let that happen. We spent 4 figures in the bayou and didn't even think about it.

Until we went out of what I like to call our 'pay cycle'. With a small sum in our savings.

My wife teaches at the undergrad and graduate level for a big ol' university. She gets paid at the beginning and end of each 5 week semester, which means at this point, someone was going to get their fine share of our bucks a week or two late. When we contacted folk about paying them off cycle, they nearly lost their minds. My house note was due and we had the means and intentions to pay it even though our lease expired and we were doing the month to month thing, and then I wanted to refuse.

Our neighbors are strictly ghetto and are not used to living a more mature lifestyle. I put that mildly, but you know what I mean. The year and some change of the loud music, parties running into the 10am hour of the next day, the drunken fighting and the unwanted presence of both undesirables and the damn police drove us crazy. I looked at my wife and told her that I was willing to pay the note for May, but as of June we were out of here.

She agreed.

One thing... Where would we go and what would we do?

We started looking for houses and town homes in all of the areas we liked here in Chicago. We didn't find much that either we liked or we wanted to lease ourselves to pay a mortgage for. We did apply for a mortgage on one property, we still await the call from the bank, but by this time it was last week and we both wanted out of this place due to the environment. We were still arguing and I was very angry over lack of communication over what I perceived was my wife holding info away from me by not telling me that we had tremendous bills. Case in point, out normal cable bill was around $240 a month. I could no longer pay the high amount of these bills knowing that we could barely stand each other and refused to get along, so I took a nap last Thursday and I had an idea:

Let's get rid of everything.

Yeah, I wanted to get rid of the duplex, the high-ass cable, power and natural gas bill (which hit us for $800 in February), I wanted to take the monthly house note and reinvest it in my relationship, but how do I do that?

Hell, I've spent the last 4 years dealing with living on the road and I was used to being out there, but what about my wife? Never had to think about that before, so I made a few phone calls to see if a few opportunities still existed in other cities. A bunch of cities. My idea would have us visit those cities and see exactly what existed outside of Chicago. We would drive, hit up an extended stay (which costs 50-65% less than our monthly house note with NO UTILITIES to pay) and scout out a potential city to see if it was a place we could possibly relocate. I also thought that we should call up a few financial, spiritual and marriage counselors to see if we could get some guidance while out on the road together. My idea was coming together easier than I thought.

I presented my other half with this idea and she said yes. I thought that either this was too simple of a thing or too complicated to get into, but my wife surprised me when she said that the extreme nature of what we were doing as well as the benefits of not having a mortgage/rent payment, not paying utilities for a few months and the financial and marriage counseling was just too good to pass up, soooo...

In a matter of days my wife and I will hit the road. Just her, me and the truck. We will fast, detox, pray, receive counseling and manage our finances with nothing external to distract us. We will live on the road and cover cities cross country from June until September. We have tasks already lined up and work to do while we're out there. As some of you know, my wife and I are self employed and the tasks I just mentioned will put money in our pockets so the trip is already paid for.

This is not a vacation. My wife indicated to me that when we made the announcement to rid our selves of material stuff and work on saving our marriage on facebook, a few thought what we were doing was a disgusting (some cat actually used that word) stunt that would take us away form our focus as well as future dated business ventures (mainly THEIR future related business venture), but not the case. She was also called unprofessional for making a non-business related announcement on facebook even though a contract was signed, no letterhead, email or announcement to breach such a contract was mentioned on her commercial site and our travel plans were made to not only accommodate the contracted business venture, but to actually network and participate in other industry related events surrounding the holiday proceeding said contract event.

Shame.

I don't think it's neither strange or extreme to want to save my relationship. I also don't think that ridding ourselves of meddlers, distractions and unnecessary financial burden is a crazy thing to do, especially when you love someone. When it all boils down, all we have is each other, and I know what isolation and compromise will do in the face of adversity.

Some just don't get it, and some never will.

I didn't forge a union with this woman to have it broken over bullshit. I purchased 2 homes in my lifetime and I can always buy another one. This is my opportunity to build a home finally with the woman that'll birth my babies, but sacrifices have to be made first.

Oh, did I mention that I'll be filming our travels and the wife and I would be journaling it as well? I should have, huh? Okay, you can catch us over at www.herzandhiz.com. Follow us on our journey and root for black love. Y'all did it last year in the primaries and general election, so let's keep this thing going, okay?

Y'all know you want us to make some babies anyway.

Wish us luck!

To My Brothers And Sisters, Past And Present...

The cost of liberty is less than the cost of repression.

-W.E.B. Dubois


I cannot and will not ever forget...

Change Gon' Come

I have this idea that I just ran across my wife.

It is so crazy that it just makes sense.

I asked her if she was game on doing it... She said yes. For now.

I think we're going to do it, or at least I hope so.

This'll be the craziest thing we've ever done...

Sixty Nine And I Owe You None

I'm more spiritual than religious, but...


Sometimes scripture just jumps out on your ass. Case in point:

Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul.
I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing: I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me.
I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God.
They that hate me without a cause are more than the hairs of mine head: they that would destroy me, being mine enemies wrongfully, are mighty: then I restored that which I took not away.
O God, thou knowest my foolishness; and my sins are not hid from thee.
Let not them that wait on thee, O Lord GOD of hosts, be ashamed for my sake: let not those that seek thee be confounded for my sake, O God of Israel.
Because for thy sake I have borne reproach; shame hath covered my face.
I am become a stranger unto my brethren, and an alien unto my mother's children.
For the zeal of thine house hath eaten me up; and the reproaches of them that reproached thee are fallen upon me.
When I wept, and chastened my soul with fasting, that was to my reproach.
I made sackcloth also my garment; and I became a proverb to them.
They that sit in the gate speak against me; and I was the song of the drunkards.
But as for me, my prayer is unto thee, O Lord, in an acceptable time: O God, in the multitude of thy mercy hear me, in the truth of thy salvation.
Deliver me out of the mire, and let me not sink: let me be delivered from them that hate me, and out of the deep waters.
Let not the waterflood overflow me, neither let the deep swallow me up, and let not the pit shut her mouth upon me.
Hear me, O Lord; for thy lovingkindness is good: turn unto me according to the multitude of thy tender mercies.
And hide not thy face from thy servant; for I am in trouble: hear me speedily.
Draw nigh unto my soul, and redeem it: deliver me because of mine enemies.
Thou hast known my reproach, and my shame, and my dishonour: mine adversaries are all before thee.
Reproach hath broken my heart; and I am full of heaviness: and I looked for some to take pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none.
They gave me also gall for my meat; and in my thirst they gave me vinegar to drink.
Let their table become a snare before them: and that which should have been for their welfare, let it become a trap.
Let their eyes be darkened, that they see not; and make their loins continually to shake.
Pour out thine indignation upon them, and let thy wrathful anger take hold of them.
Let their habitation be desolate; and let none dwell in their tents.
For they persecute him whom thou hast smitten; and they talk to the grief of those whom thou hast wounded.
Add iniquity unto their iniquity: and let them not come into thy righteousness.
Let them be blotted out of the book of the living, and not be written with the righteous.
But I am poor and sorrowful: let thy salvation, O God, set me up on high.
I will praise the name of God with a song, and will magnify him with thanksgiving.
This also shall please the Lord better than an ox or bullock that hath horns and hoofs.
The humble shall see this, and be glad: and your heart shall live that seek God.
For the Lord heareth the poor, and despiseth not his prisoners.
Let the heaven and earth praise him, the seas, and every thing that moveth therein.
For God will save Zion, and will build the cities of Judah: that they may dwell there, and have it in possession.
The seed also of his servants shall inherit it: and they that love his name shall dwell therein.

Ya dig?

Don't act like you can't feel me. I ain't the only one. Never have been.

Hanging Out With Mom Today

It took a lot to get here and this is also my second year rebuilding with my mother.

I'm kind of sad that I let pride and spite take me away from my mother and am glad that the Most High didn't take her away and has allowed me all of this that I have shared, reminisced and rekindled with my mommy since coming back home.

Harder than hard

How much harder must I love?
How much more do I have to show?
Am I ever to get my due?
Thoughts come hard as hell when thinking of you

Times before, me getting open
in the presence of you
made my head hurt
I tried to internalize these thoughts and made excuses to myself
in order to execute an exercise in staying

but that would be my great mistake.

I thought you to be the glue that would make this thing stick
instead you repelled me
not by words or deeds

but

you moved my knight
three steps down and two steps over
making it difficult to get back at you
and then you requested my touch

You wanted it hard
asked for it from all directions
but from your own hand
questioned if I could really love hard

when it was obvious

that me standing there in front of you
was the hardest thing I could ever do

So you spoke in soft tones
singing into the wind
making requests I'll never honor
because it was too hard to hear you

so I hung on your unspoken diatribe and I fell hard
then you said that I wasn't your kind of hard

loud enough for me to hear
like I was hard of hearing
and slung me in some emotional waste receptacle with a
very hard overhand yank
the stench of trash soaked into my skin
built up for damn near half a decade
took a hard scrubbing to remove

You defiled me yet still wanted me to give it to you hard
with broad, slow strokes
so that you would remember
as much as you would savor

You know not how hard it is to dangle from your own string

I made a hard decision
leaving is never hard when you never came
and if you would have gotten it any harder than what I gave
releasing me would have been the hardest thing you would have
ever had to do

cause I fuck hard

But I love harder
causing hard decisions and hard times for your mind to differentiate
forcing hardships on those that find it hard to love my name
yet remained silent when called to rep for said nomenclature
because enunciating is hard to do in the presence of others
breaking up ain't hard to do when protocol has never been broken

see, you never allowed me to penetrate
because you believed times to be hard
and you remained conservative

at the one time I was liberal enough
to spread the wealth
you vetoed my stimulus package
when

You should have called my name
and confided in me how hard is was
to see me walk away
but pride is a hard thing
and speaking my truths into existence
is a hard thing for you to do.

Dammit, life is hard
fending yourself from the harsh realities of life is harder
but what's the hardest thing?

Finding out how hard it is to do things yourself

Because I love so hard
things could have been much easier
and you never would have had to ask yourself
how hard things could have been

If you ever really knew how hard it was
to just stand in front of you

2009 - Hassan Olumoroti Ntimbanjayo

Thoughts On How I Got Here

This is a long post, but most of my recent ones have been long. Think of it as multiple blog posts... I hope that helps. Hell, I hope you actually read the whole damn thang.

Oh, and I know it's been a while. I just felt like not blogging again until I had a conversation with Terry. Matter of fact... The Cheap Seats are open!

Have you ever just sat there, you know... Somewhere quiet in your home and just thought about shit? When was the last time you attempted to decipher exactly what the inner workings of your mind was telling you?

I've been doing that lately.

There is entirely way too much stuff tumbling around in there. I just can't believe with all of that wet laundry tumbling around in my head's dryer that I still feel unmotivated and bored as hell. There is some sort of sense of urgency to get things done, but I can't prioritize exactly what to work on first.

I know that some things need to be addressed but I just cannot decide what to work on first. And then there are so many glaring items I gotta handle on the home front as well.

It ain't the bills. As long as my other half and I put our shoulders down and drive forward we'll move the chains on the football field of life. I had a conversation with my other half yesterday questioning the if and where we are in our lives. Not that I'm not grateful and appreciative in who is here and what has been gifted to me by the Creator, I just wonder sometimes what got me here...

So certain thoughts take me back two years ago and I was in Houston. I made an ill-fated decision to leave Chicago. I knew that the decision I made at the time was the right one. I had support, a good reason and felt protected by the spirits to be there until one action made me question why in the hell I was where I was. Being there wasn't new, I had been there before but only as a visitor. Houston is a little larger than Chicago in land mass but the Chi has damn near four times as many people. There was comfort in being where folks look like me made things cool but there was still a feeling of restriction.

Being broke as hell will immediately put clamps on you, or at least it feels that way. One day I was there, she was there and somewhere very early she felt a need to get up, shower and dress for Sunday. Hell, it was Sunday, people go out. She made herself look look nice. She can make herself into sexy mode, but on this day, she dressed to highlight her cuteness and not her sexy, like she was headed to church but she didn't attend church. She didn't have a church home that I knew of.

During that time in 07', I hadn't spoken to my mother in over a year, but some of you knew that. I really needed to hear my mom but I chose to be stubborn and stand my ground and not speak to her. That was stupid of me to do. So imagine how I felt when her mother called and there was an opportunity for myself to be allowed to introduce... Myself. Yeah, that shit works if her mom even knew I existed. Hell, she met all my sibs and the nieces and nephews earlier that year! Oh well, I guess eventually one day I would get an invite or have an introduction.

Never did.

So the one time when her mother called the spot, I was waiting for a call from a perspective employer. I normally answered the phone with no objections but on this occasion I answered the phone and ended up speaking with her mother. I have never seen someone in my adult life, being the same age grown and independent from the parental units as I was back peddle verbally from another human being quite like that about me being there.

Or not really being there, as it was trying to be explained. Shit! I'm a nobody. Not good if the fam doesn't know some ashy assed, dreadlocked, Kush smelling cat like myself was all up and thru there, huh?

Her mother unleashed a verbal bashing questioning her about having a man answer her phone. She interrogated her about my status in her home and I was just crushed as I watched her stammer and fall all over the answers she had to search for. I was nobody, or at least I had to hide within the shadows until she was able to rewire her feelings to match the words needed to explain my presence. Her actions were fine and definitive for me to this point, but I realized that the only people in Houston that we both knew were 4 other people. 2 were room mates and the others were her confidants. She promised that I would meet her brother who was also a truck driver. So much for that, huh?

In that moment, I needed just a twinge of motherly advice. I was too proud to call my mother, especially feeling that I've just had my tail put between my legs by coming to Houston empty handed and with no definition. The inaction and being hidden in plain sight what I believed to be the fatal flaws that loosened my confidence in living in Texas was concerned. I didn't leave Houston until August because I believed that May, June and July would birth the emotional and stabilizing efforts put forth that would convince me to stay.

And where did she go on that fateful Sunday dare you ask? Her sibs and other family members hosted a mother's day brunch. She told me as she walked out the door that she would be right back and didn't mention anything to me upon her return 6 hours later. Even though I was on the outs with my mother, I understand the importance of who you are by the way you're introduced to family. We had been hinting around, visiting and snowballing to this moment since late 2006 and I had managed to be there in the flesh...

Other things happened in those months leading up to me getting back to Chicago in August of 2007, but that was cake batter. There were other moments that could have taken the cake but during mother's day weekend? Bowl, eggs, whisk and pre-heated oven. One of the shoulders I cried upon during that time kept me sane and grounded me. I ended up marrying that set of shoulders later on that year.

Funny, huh?

I only wondered about this because after talking with a friend yesterday, I realized how long, hard and complicated it was just to get to where I am now. I feel uninspired and am unwilling to write yet everything is unbelievably alright. In a few short actions, I realized that there still was still some precedent to be set in being in Texas whereas in a long, complicated and turbulent filled journey I arrived here. Able to sit and think about the minor things, the fodder if you will that runs amok in my head.

I'm not really uninspired, bored or unmotivated.

I'm actually blessed to have one place to sit out of many to ponder my thoughts both major and minor. And I have been blessed to have been shown which way to go in order to get here. And those actions were actually inactions. Things undone showed me the path in getting things done.

I just cannot imagine anyone else putting up with my shit but her. What I had to go thru to get here... Well, that was just one of life's hurdles in the paragraphs above causing me to want to just sit here and praise the master plan our Creator has for us...

And it is a beautiful plan.

Now all I gotta go is get 12 and a half more years in with this feeling like Kim and Allen have...

Happpy Anniversary number 14!

Catching Up With Hassan

I've been around. Seriously.

I just didn't have much to say in the past few weeks. Well, nothing worth bloggin' about. Or at least I thought. I thought I'd take this time to catch up. I know that a ton of the Facebook family have seen these pics, but... Maybe you haven't. So...

All is well, I've just pretty much stayed busy and have been hanging hard with my other half. I've also IMed and emailed a few old friends, grew older another year, shaved off all of the hairs on my chinny chin chin. And upper lip. And I still look good.

Ask my momma. She actually likes me without a mustache.

I also started getting my asanas back, eating a whole lotta greens, hanging out with old friends from high school (that ish was 20+ years ago!) and my wife swears that this weekend was the first time I danced with her.





She got to meet some of the good folks from high school. Because she's from a different place I thought it was important for her to know where I came from and who was there when I was becoming me. We had a good time, and she met some good people who after 20 plus years are still in my life. Oh, did I mention that we danced?


A couple of weeks ago, my mother in-law came into town for Easter weekend and we ran her, fed her and ran her some more. Lots of walking thru all of the nooks and crannies that make Chicago 'The Chi'. We even went shopping and she enjoyed the hell out of that. I take it Tulsa, OK doesn't have 'the black mall'. We took her to a few special places in the Chi and both her and my mother held court Easter Sunday at our home. We were able to entertain and feed 20+ guests and managed to have a good time and cater to all.

we even took her to the shrine

see, us and the mommies

A week later my brother celebrated his 29th rotation around the sun, and I ran his ass thru the gambit. I betcha he'll never take a day off of work and attend a baseball game with me. We actually hit the rooftops across the street from Wrigley Field, where the Chicago Cubs play. All you can eat and drink on a Wednesday is a dangerous thing. Well, it was for him. I can still drink your drunk-ass uncle under the table. Something I learned to do in Korea. He tried, but failed in a cute and almost 30 kinda way. Stick to the Heineken keg cans dude. Thanks to my wife, we got him home for an interesting evening with the wife and kids. I owe them an apology.

And a therapist.

I think daddy snoozed on the big birthday presentation.

I know. I stink.

But it's funny.

The day started well...

ended something like this

Okay, nothing like that. We went to a bar my best friend works and I fed his ass Sambuca and Patron... Not in that order either.

Last week to now was kind of a blur to being busy. Nothing really to report. I'm just in awe of the Repubs...

• disapproved damn near 200 million in pandemic research and relief
• filibustered and still holding up the seating of HHS Secretary, who would appoint a director of the CDC (we don't have one)
• the current pandemic cannot be controlled, and we're short (about 200 million) for relief and research

Whatever.

I think I'm we're all caught up here. I got some stuff I've been working on that I'll post tomorrow when I get back from an assignment. I swear I'm posting on a regular basis now. For real. I'm serious. No joking. Pinky swear. I had a period where I was feeling uninspired and unmotivated, but that cloud has passed.

Just tell my wife to stay the hell offa' the pole in my mancave.

See how that just picks me up and gives me hope? I figure that seeing that she has more rhythm than Carrie Heffernan some lessons just might benefit her pocket change fund. One can't be short in the impulse section at the cash register, even in a recession.

More to come, after a short commercial break...

Back, after these messages